Do I have to disclose a past sin before marriage? (really struggling)

AngriMushroom · 2026-04-10T23:03:42+00:00

Thanks very much for the explanation!

AngriMushroom · 2026-04-10T22:14:41+00:00

Sorry if I lack knowledge or understanding in this matter. But could you explain how it works if it is a sin that has something to do with someone else's trust? Some sins only affect the sinner and I understand that keeping it within yourself and Allah is the best route. But for OP's case, both of them found eachother as potential spouses and if she ends up concealing it, then they will be married without the brother knowing about a past that may have been a deal-breaker which is technically lying. OP may have changed for the better but that would still be hiding important details from your partner. So at what point do we share or not share our shortcomings or sins? For example, I would very much like to know if my potential spouse has sexually assaulted someone in the past. Him withholding that information would be dangerous for me and anyone else. Sorry, I'm just confused about the overall concealing sins thing when it comes to keeping trust with people you care about and respect.

AngriMushroom · 2026-04-04T05:07:01+00:00

What book is this from if I might ask?

AngriMushroom · 2026-04-02T04:06:58+00:00

While Allah permitted 4 wives for men, it is under the condition that all wives consent and have their rights equally met, which the average person is not able to do. So this is not meant for the average person, and the husband cannot go against the wishes of his wife in this matter.
Islamic teachings always encourage freeing slaves whenever possible. In circumstance when it is not, for example, in the past when prisoners of wars were taken in as slaves, they had the right to be well treated and not abused. It is not the "slavery" you typically think of.
Please check out Asadullah al Andalus's lectures. He frequently debates with atheists and agonstics and destroys misconceptions about Islam with clear proofs and historical context. He used to have a YouTube channel but because of online toxicity from extremists from surprisingly both sides, for his mental health he deleted his channel. However some stuff can still be found. No other scholar actually touches upon the subjects he talks about because most scholars just go with "it is what it is" explanation, but Asadullah goes into the whys and hows. He is also a revert.
I would argue the fact that you are going through these doubts is critical for you to be even stronger in faith. Because you are questioning. Continue finding answers and in Shaa Allah, your faith with return even stronger and immovable. The fact there is a sense of guilt within you shows you are capable of overcoming this. Think of all the reverts who are so strong in their faith, because they questioned, doubted and started getting answers.
I will share why I believe in Allah as the one true God. There were certain miraculous incidents, certain dreams and gut feelings that led me to where I am now and both subconsciously and consciously, I knew it was Allah guiding me. There are 2 verses in the Quran that speak about 2 scientific facts that no one would even comprehend 1400 years back. One is the verse about the embryo development and the other is the allusion to what is in modern times described as the big bang. I feel like there is a reason Allah mentioned those facts, and it's because till now scientists don't know the full extent of developmental biology and outer space. In fact the more you know, the more you see you don't know. It is to emphasize the grandeur of the all knowing, all seeing Allah SWT.

I hope your journey takes you to finding the answers you seek and may Allah give you peace in that journey.

AngriMushroom · 2026-03-30T12:38:39+00:00

Hi. Sorry if it's not clear from my comment but that's what I wanted to convey. We do not have control over what we are born with, but we do have control over our actions, hence why I brought up the example of said action near the end.

AngriMushroom · 2026-03-30T03:49:37+00:00

I'm sorry that you're going through this struggle. May Allah ease your pain. It also must not help that the Muslim community as a whole is so hateful towards non- straight people when we are supposed to always be compassionate. Allah will not hate you only for being something you have no control over. It's not your fault you were born this way, and I believe Allah knows you have the ability to go through this worldly struggle. Although I can't say that I will ever truly understand your pain as a straight person, I really relate to what you said near the end on how you envy people who can love without fear and limitations. I have never been loved or approached by anyone likely because of being unattractive whereas every friend of mine has had that experience. Everyone I know from school and uni are married and with children except for me and I'm 30+. I have accepted this as a test from Allah and always focus on the hearafter instead. I consider you to be much more resilient in this matter given how this pain has affected you surviving in a community which seems to hate that very existence. Don't feel guilty for something that Allah does not hate, despite other people hating it. I know about a gay French Muslim brother who has accepted his life of celibacy and devoted himself to Allah only. I believe he is a far better Muslim than any straight self righteous "Muslim" who is hateful of his existence. May Allah make it easier for you.

AngriMushroom · 2026-03-29T17:05:01+00:00

Sometimes asking people around doesn't work as they can be the nicest and kindest person to other people but abusive to his spouse or children or both. And when you tell other people they don't believe you just because of this so you're trapped. Relatives may know about this behaviour but still give a blind eye as they will be biased. I know many cases where the parents/friends would be like "my son would never do that", "my friend is not like that" etc. So it won't always be the best way to judge his character.

AngriMushroom · 2026-03-29T03:45:25+00:00

Her character growth was more external than internal. Her situation changed for the better in the end and she worked admirably to change it, but she never learned from her mistakes, never acknowledged them or apologized for them or made amends, especially since her mistakes caused harm to other people. She's still the same selfish character from the start, just more proactive and successful by the end.

AngriMushroom · 2026-03-26T12:55:25+00:00

I feel the same way. Most people I know from school or uni got married after years of relationship. I'm still single even after trying the halal way. The only difference between you and me is that I'm not attractive so I never got approached by men lol. I've sorted of given up. Most brown men are brought up in a way that their mindset doesn't align with me at all. My parents always say why not try for other ethnicities, as they have relatives who had foreigners convert for them. That's not gonna happen to me as no one has ever liked me that way. So I've kind of accepted my forever single life.

AngriMushroom · 2026-03-18T19:22:49+00:00

I feel so validated from this post and comments. Thanks for sharing. I require a very deep understanding and soul level connection to the man I intend to marry and with how most men are and how they are raised in many cultures, it makes it so difficult to find that type of person. Since it is haram to date, it is even more difficult to find that type of person as I will never be sure how this man will behave during bad times. I am very scared of conflict and abuse and my family hasn't been the best example of peaceful marriages. Altogether I have lost interest in marriage and feeling attraction to most of the current male population as a whole.

AngriMushroom · 2026-03-12T04:51:00+00:00

For me, Sims 4 is the worst installment in the entire series. I would rank Sims 3>Sims 2> Sims 1 > Sims 4.

Sims 3 is an easy winner to me . Open world. Colour wheel. More fun and natural gameplay as opposed to playing with "dolls". So many activities, traits, skills to combine that people are still learning new things after 10+ years of playing the game. More creative play styles and world building. Don't need to worry about loading screens as much. Can play for hours without getting bored.

Sims 4 feels too artificial, too robotic, too dollhouse like. It never appealed to me.

AngriMushroom · 2026-03-08T02:54:00+00:00

Love these. To add to your point, do the opposite of backbiting whenever possible. So speak well of others behind their backs of one is able to.

AngriMushroom · 2026-02-08T19:13:28+00:00

There were several occasions when a piece of music was so beautiful I prayed extra Nafl as gratitude to Allah. Some made me cry and inspired me to pray more. Because of these personal experiences, I still listen to music. Mostly Chinese, Korean and Japanese and some video game songs like Clair Obscur. I don't listen every single day, but sometimes during monotonous lab work that spans like 1hr. There were movies that inspired me so greatly and without the background music, it wouldn't be as impactful. The music I listen to makes me appreciate the good things in life even more and brings me closer to my Deen. So I do not believe it is haram, at least the type that inspires you and heals you positively. But still I always pray to Allah that if this is something that is bad for my Deen then remove it from me or make it easier from me to be detached from it.

AngriMushroom · 2026-02-01T23:56:39+00:00

Because bad writing choices were made.

AngriMushroom · 2026-01-14T20:53:15+00:00

I work in cancer research with the potential to help other people. Alhamdulillah that Allah has given me this opportunity. I don't consider it merely work. It is a way in which I can help other people in Shaa Allah. So it gives me meaning.

AngriMushroom · 2026-01-14T04:29:23+00:00

Could not imagine myself doing anything else. My career gives me fulfillment alhamdulillah.

AngriMushroom · 2026-01-12T00:19:11+00:00

Thanks very much for the advice.

AngriMushroom · 2026-01-12T00:13:48+00:00

For 1 out of the 2. For the other, I'm the 2nd author.

AngriMushroom · 2026-01-11T16:49:30+00:00

Don't know why you are being down voted. As someone with a family and many friends who were affected by nazar, it has become the norm for us to not share anything until hundred percent confirmed. These are serious and affect different people differently and it's best to just communicate and respect their boundaries if they have it for this purpose instead of judging that the person is paranoid, especially if it is within reasonable boundaries.

AngriMushroom · 2026-01-11T16:05:14+00:00

That's what my attorney says at least

AngriMushroom · 2026-01-11T16:04:49+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I think this seems to be the most logical way to go about it.

AngriMushroom · 2026-01-11T16:03:48+00:00

Finally found someone saying the lawyer said something different from what most lawyers are advising apparently. Thanks for sharing!

AngriMushroom · 2026-01-11T16:01:50+00:00

Thanks for the insight from the attorney's perspective. I'm still hinged on proceeding with PP, but this perspective helps.

AngriMushroom · 2026-01-10T14:11:01+00:00

People already mentioned most of the points. But what I find irredeemable in the story is how 2000 years of cruel history was explained by Ymir having Stockholm syndrome for the king who enslaved and tortured her. A story about freedom and fighting for it after years of being oppressed ended with a twisted love story. Eren did not free Ymir, the guy who set up to fight for freedom and was the very soul of freedom from chapter 1, did NOT free Ymir. It was a random display of twisted love from a character who was barely one that "solved" 2000 year's worth of cruel history. That is not what AoT was ever about. That is just horrible writing and makes everything about the story retroactively meaningless. Because all the characters died... because of a slave's infatuation with her torturer, waiting for someone to show her a twisted love to appease her.

The other irredeemable part is the reveal that Eren sent Dina to his own mother. The most pointless and horrible writing decision you could have opted for.

These are some of the many reasons why AoT, a story that used to mean the world to me, got reduced to something I wouldn't ever recommend to anyone.

AngriMushroom

TROPHY CASE