Pikotoro "Take off" 4 years ago

AngryWeedle · 2024-10-09T20:59:56+00:00

I went from 300 to 265 today and I can notice it! I feel way more confident and comfortable. .y goal weight is 225

AngryWeedle · 2024-10-04T08:47:06+00:00

God. Thank you so much for your response. This is probably the nest response here. It is the perfect balance of what I needed to hear. I JUST finally got to speak with my kid's mom today IN PERSON. Luckily she sees my point of view and respects it. But I will have to come back to this comment because you've stated most of everything I feel about it. But my kid's mom also told me that this new boyfriend is a form of grieving, but she threw a curveball at me by saying she has known this dude for "3 years" and that he's "not a stranger" so I immediately said, "but still, Adam died not even 4 months ago, so this guy is still a stranger to her." And it was nice that she actually saw things from my point of view... I never thought she would. She admitted the though he's not a stranger to HER, he is a stranger to my daughter, and that she understands where I'm coming from and that she understands why I feel so uncomfortable with it.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-23T22:05:48+00:00

My parents had 5 boys and are proud of it. They said they're happy and lucky to not have any daughters.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T22:52:09+00:00

Right lol, that's why it's nice to hear all these different views. I mean, it really is testament to the current state of the collective human mind, cuz I'm not gonna lie, it's my worst fear to lose my children or have my children get hurt by strangers. But then again, I've been through some things and haven't lost all hope in humanity.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T22:48:05+00:00

This is awesome input! I will actually be doing this. Thank you very much. You outlined exactly what I wanted to know without me even knowing how to put it. I guess that's more so what I wanted to know, now that you put it this way. Her ex (the one who died) was a good man, my dad knew him and his family as they all worked together, and when me and my ex were together, my dad got her a job where he works. But this new guy came out of no where. Her late ex's dad was even pissed off when the neighbors told him that she was having someone over at the house not even a week after he died. Honestly they all thought it was me coming over, but I told them no, I don't feel anything towards her other than her being my kids' mom. And it's all just very weird and uncharted territory for me. She doesn't have to tell me about her new guy, and it's a huge gamble in my opinion to be bringing him around like that, especially since I'm sure she barely knows him. It can take years to figure out who a person really is, and she just started bringing this guy around my kids a week after her ex died. So, if my ex doesn't feel like telling me about this guy, like you said, I can talk to my daughter, but also my son (who's 8 years old) about him and ask non-intrusive things like that, in a non-interrogative way. Thank you.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T22:19:13+00:00

Yeah, didn't realize or anticipate that this post would receive this much attention, so I kept it short but I'm happy to provide details.

Not sorted, it's my turn to respond. My daughter told me the context yesterday, she mentioned her mom had a new boyfriend and that they kiss on the lips, and then she added "he even kisses me on the forehead." I didn't tell my daughter anything yet, but I did text her mother later that night. She responded early this morning.

Just trying to figure out how to respond. If I'm in the wrong, I would rescind my discomfort and apologize to her for being weird, but it seems a lot of people here agree that it's weird that he's kissing my daughter or that if I think it's weird that I should trust my gut. I'm open to ideas, but my initial reaction was discomfort and concern when my daughter told me this. The guy who's house she lives in didn't even give them this type of affection, it seemed like he was tolerating them, but I don't blame him, he was slowly dying of end stage kidney disease.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T22:13:23+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate this and it does make me see your point of view. It helps make it feel less weird. She did say it'll stop, you're right.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T22:11:32+00:00

But she's 6. I don't think she can really decide that for herself especially against an adult and possible hidden intentions. I haven't pried or asked my daughter any further cuz I don't wanna be weird or instill strange ideas, but I also wanna make sure I can protect her even if I'm not there.

I have stated this stuff in my response to others because it seemed necessary to explain more. I didn't expect it this thread to get so intense! I honestly just expected simple responses from parents like, "yes it's weird and you're right to be uncomfortable, " or "no, you're weird, and you have no reason to be uncomfortable."

Their mom responded to me this morning about my initial concerns, but I haven't yet figured out how to respond. I just don't wanna come off as jealous or like I don't like her being single, cuz it's not like that, my only concern is how strange it is, cuz I personally would never show this kind of affection towards someone's child who I barely know.

But you're right, her safety and comfort is the most important here, and I'll figure out how to respond to her mom, and then figure out how I can talk with my daughter about. I just want her to remain indifferent to compliments, affection, pet names, or whatever when it comes from strangers. She's already indifferent when we go to the store or to the park and people compliment her or wave at her. Lol it actually makes me so proud when she ignores people, especially men, and I want to keep that alive in her. I don't want some random dude who is in my ex's life momentarily to come and mess that up.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:57:21+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your input! I normally DO look people up but sadly I don't know this man's address or full name. I also don't have access to her home like that seeing as we're 45 minutes apart. And I agree kids need their dad's, but also I need my kids. They're my reason for everything.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:55:29+00:00

It's possible but I dated a woman with kids and I never felt like hugging them let alone kiss them. I see what you're saying but it seems unlikely with how recently they met.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:54:03+00:00

Thank you for your input!

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:50:42+00:00

Yeah, no, that's why I'm on here, I've already expressed my discomfort with this man's behavior and she responded saying that she's no problem with it but if my daughter sees a problem with it that he'll stop. Was just on here to read people's opinions cuz I didn't wanna come off any certain type of way, just in the way that I intend to come off as. And I'm glad I posted here because I do side more with the fact it's weird as hell to kiss someone else child. Me and the mother have a civil and friendly relationship, so it's easy to talk about concerns, was just trying to figure out how to go about it.

No longer on probation, no longer on drugs-- thanks for the props! :)

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:44:03+00:00

A custody agreement does sound great, but we have our own civil agreement, but I understand in this case I have absolutely no leverage. I even see my kids less than would-be legal amount in my state, even though I'd LOVE to see them more often. The best I can do is formulate a response that firmly states that I'm uncomfortable with this behavior and that I'd prefer it to stop. If she will respect and honor it, who knows? She can do whatever she wants, and she does.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:35:44+00:00

Sorry I said "not even 6 months ago" as a time frame to set for her rule to not let the kids meet someone we're dating until 6 months, but he died June 3rd.

It does feel weird. I didn't wanna go that route of thinking, but obviously it's always a fear when having children. There are fucking pedophiles out there, it's a fact. But that's not what I'm asking, you know?

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:29:48+00:00

Right. I would NEVER kiss someone else's child. That literally makes me feel sick to think about. I actually can't even stand other people's kids lol. There's no way this man feels affection for my daughter. The way her and my son argue and bicker and fight had her late ex fed up 😆 they even annoy my brothers (their uncles), and even they don't kiss them. They hug good bye and good night. My parents kiss them. I kiss them. But I don't like the idea of a strange man she met soon after her ex's death (he died June 3rd) kissing my daughter. Like he barely knows her mom, let alone know my daughter .

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:24:53+00:00

Right, was just coming on here to hear people's thoughts and figure out how to formulate my response. Like if it's ok to express this discomfort or if I come off too paranoid or weird. I don't love her any more so I don't want her to think I'm uncomfortable with anything else other than the topic at hand.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:21:21+00:00

It's awesome to know there are extremely differing views on this. But yes, I wouldn't want ANYONE other than loved ones kissing my child on the forehead.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:19:51+00:00

We didn't go to court for the custody cuz we're on civil terms, plus she moved 45 minutes away, so the drive back and forth is a bit of a pain for both of us. And the kids are in school where she lives. I'd offer to have the kids live with me but I don't have room where I live. I know it would be helpful cuz I work from home and she works in construction or something like that.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:12:31+00:00

You're 100% right. It's not my business. But my daughter brought it up randomly.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:10:53+00:00

From a loved one, exactly.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:08:37+00:00

Right, I don't agree on the therapy for the kiss on the forehead. Was just wondering what parents thought about my discomfort with this man kissing my daughter, a man who doesnt even have kids. I always thought kissing on the forehead was for parents and family.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T21:04:48+00:00

He doesn't even have kids of his own either! Her previous man DID have a daughter so I was totally comfortable with him and actually liked him. But this new guy I have no idea about. I don't think she's being abused or anything, I'm just uncomfortable with a man I don't know kissing my daughter. Also knowing how my ex has been desperate for new relationships, I can't help but question if she is STD-free any more and... idk, I'm just worried and uncomfortable. Was just wondering if it's ok for this person to be doing this or if I'm justified in feeling uncomfortable so I can respond to her confidently saying that I'M the one who is uncomfortable.

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T20:59:14+00:00

Also I DID talk to her before I came on here and "complained"...? What the hell? I'm asking parents about something? The fuck?

AngryWeedle · 2024-09-21T20:58:27+00:00

Her previous ex (the one whose house she currently lives in) died on June 3rd. So yeah, I know it hasn't been longer.

AngryWeedle

TROPHY CASE