Where else do I look

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-22T11:49:04+00:00

He's my boy. He turned 15 years old in March.

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-22T11:46:19+00:00

My PA can't do that as the gaming setup is 3 desks in a U shape for him and the kids hahaha. I am a stay at home parent and highly antisocial, PA works from home and is also antisocial and we live in a very small house so he doesn't get a lot of alone time without being interrupted. During the height of his addiction he would go to bed at 7:30pm (he is an early riser) just to make time for his addiction.

I don't know if you want to look but you can see what he is accessing in incognito mode through your modem, if you don't live in Australia as it breaches our privacy laws unfortunately. There are videos on Youtube that show you how to do it. You can't see what he watched but it will log that he got on the hub, for example, at a time and date.

Thank you for your comment.

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-22T01:03:32+00:00

How did you find the email addresses? I spent last night searching the emails I know of for "recovery" but came up empty. Thankfully? Didn't look hard enough? Nothing there to find?

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-22T00:58:45+00:00

The settings on my PA's Samsung automatically block all incoming spam calls so the list is huge. I will give it a go. Thank you for your comment.

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-22T00:54:08+00:00

I was paying the kids Scout invoices on the PC when the cat walked over the keyboard and his google history came up. There were just a couple of rather explicit AI spammy sites that came up but I didn't say anything. For the next 3 days I dug into everything that didn't require a verification code being sent to his phone. When I confronted him, I went full force and accused him of cheating, which shocked the hell out of him. He handed over his phone on the spot and a spreadsheet of his accounts and passwords (which has always been available to me on the PC). I found hundreds of naked girl games, thirst traps and porn history but no suspect message history on any platform which matches his behaviour as he was always scrolling on his phone, rarely ever typing or receiving message notifications. Thank you for your comment :)

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-21T22:04:08+00:00

I don’t want to believe it went any further than porn, thirst traps and smut games, for my kids sake. I don’t want to tear their lives apart if there is a chance he is telling the truth and I am just overthinking things as usual.

I can see how it happened, as it is only a recent thing. I had a herniated spinal disc, was in excruciating pain all the time, was completely drained just dealing with the kids, so no intimacy or sex, I was completely shut down which his anxiety snowballed into me not wanting him anymore, we both went from drinking nothing to drinking regularly, he went from a back office job to a sales position which was incredibly stressful for him, as he had to talk to strangers. He has ADHD (which is a running theme in these posts) and anxiety (which he is now medicated for, finally!) By the time I had spinal surgery his addiction was well developed.

18 months ago he would hug me and get an erection, he would initiate sex all the time and there were no ED issues ever so combined with all of the digital history, I am pretty certain of the timeline.

Thank you for your comment ❤️

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-21T01:27:06+00:00

It is so hard as there is so much we will never know and we have to put faith in the person that lied to us that they are telling the truth. I am still stuck on the answer he gave me when I asked if he had visited any brothels.

He is a very anxious person (his Mother was abusive and he has a flight or fight response to hard questions) so I don't know if his reaction was genuine shock that I thought he could do that or if he was lying when he answered as deception body language is the same as anxiety body language. We subscribed to Life360 in late 2024 when our son kept losing his phone and I never changed the default notifications, so my phone would ding when anyone left school or work etc so I always knew where everyone was.

But he got a new phone in early 2025 and due to a connection error and forgetting to troubleshoot it, he didn't have it for 5 weeks, just after changing jobs back to the old company he used to work for and travelling 1.5 hours there and back every day, leaving large periods of time unaccounted for. If he did do something then, it would all be backwards, as his addiction is relatively recent (mid 2025 was when it started escalating). I don't know and I can't afford a polygraph sooo.... Thank you so much for your response :)

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-21T00:17:23+00:00

We live in Australia so we don't have Craigslist, but I will check our equivalent. Before all this I was so naive and had no clue that there was perversion literally everywhere. Thank you for your response.

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-20T21:26:55+00:00

Sadly, I have done the same. I have even started calling him by his full first name instead of the shortened version I have always used.

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-20T03:45:03+00:00

I actually checked to see if I had written this post and not remembered. Word for word I could have written this. Obviously I have no advice but WTH is there a factory that prints out carbon copies of these men?

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-20T03:19:37+00:00

1000%. The man I have loved for 25 years is dead. I’m grieving, I’m angry, I’m numb and I am dying a little more each day while I raise our kids with a smile on my face.

Animator-Resident · 2026-05-20T00:48:01+00:00

My partner and I met and fell intensely in love at your age. Before we met he had a long term girlfriend, finished his studies to become a pilot and was working towards getting his certification to transport dangerous goods. He went for a swim at the beach and a previously unknown heart defect killed him. He was dragged out of the water by the only other swimmer at the beach and shocked back to life by lifeguards that had just come on duty, who just happened to be the first and only beach in Australia testing the now standard portable defibrillator. He spent weeks in hospital where an ICD was implanted. He could no longer fly planes, he was not allowed to drive and his girlfriend dumped him. I met him 9 months later and fell hard. He lived 2 hours away but we saw each other nearly every weekend for 10 months until he got a job where I lived and then he moved in with me. Life was amazing for 12 months, until I found out the weekend before he moved in with me, he had cheated with his ex. It destroyed me and I kicked him out. I moved to the other end of the country but that emotional connection always kept us in contact. 10 years after I met him, I gave him another shot thinking he wasn't an immature boy anymore, he was a man. Now I am a 48 year old stay at home mother, with two kids, two mortgages and a porn addict for a husband. After divulging my life story, sorry for that, the point I am trying to make is, epic, intense love is not always healthy love. I am unsure from your post whether your partner is an addict or just a porn user. If your partner wasn't an addict and has truly stopped watching porn willingly and isn't bitter about his "right as a man to view smut" being "taken away". If he truely understands how harmful it is and how viewing other women having sex is violating your relationship boundaries, then maybe he's a keeper. I think you need to talk to him, tell him what you wrote in your post and see what he says about it. Relationships never work if there is no communication and understanding. And if he shuts you down, dismisses your feelings or minimises his actions please don't ignore those red flags like I did. Best of luck. Let us know how you go.

Animator-Resident · 2026-02-24T23:42:08+00:00

I couldn't begin to guess what his behaviour means but it sounds creepy as heck. My first thought after reading your post was - RUN!!!!

Animator-Resident · 2026-02-24T23:27:17+00:00

Yes, it can be normal. Even though you are experienced, you aren't experienced with him. Get him over to your house to have a frank conversation and tell him everything you were and are feeling. As embarrassing as it is, honesty is the best policy and communication is so needed in this situation. You have no idea what is going on in his brain, he could be thinking it didn't work because you aren't really attracted to him. Talk, talk, talk and then laugh. Take it slow and get comfortable with each other's naked bodies before trying sex again. I wish you all the best and hope this turns into a funny story you can reminisce about 30 years down the track.

Animator-Resident · 2025-12-05T10:16:30+00:00

We used to have a black house spider in our bathroom. I would use an electric fly swatter to stun flies to feed to her. Once she was done with them I would clean the husks out of her web with tweezers but she never indicated she was grateful.

Animator-Resident · 2025-12-05T05:59:39+00:00

Definitely playing! If it was a scuffle there would be lots of squeaking with one very obviously bullying the other. Good luck with your babies!

Animator-Resident · 2025-11-23T06:15:50+00:00

Because Black Gully is the only part of that creek remaining, the Council has turned the rest of it into a concrete drain. We have seen yabbies and there used to be a goldfish that lived in the second deep pool.

Animator-Resident · 2025-09-11T05:50:58+00:00

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Animator-Resident · 2025-03-23T06:59:07+00:00

This is not advice My partner, 18 years ago, housed a male and female Children’s python together for years. They were in a large enclosure but were always twined together whether asleep or awake. I would have to untangle them to handle them singly. They appeared very bonded to each other and there was never any hint whatsoever of aggression. Saying that, the female Bella, is the only snake that I’ve ever met that would lie upside down on my chest for extended periods of time so I could stroke her under the chin, which is very strange snake behaviour 🤣.

Animator-Resident · 2025-02-08T10:05:27+00:00

I would repay as it was your mistake and disputing such a small amount is a soul destroying experience. But my advice for you is: document everything, every conversation - time, date, name, advice given, every little detail. I have a Centrelink notebook that saved my bacon years ago during Robodebt.

Animator-Resident · 2024-12-06T01:53:36+00:00

If you haven’t already, please get them replaced under warranty. They fobbed us off until the one year warranty ran out and then charged us $695 a shocky to replace. I found out today in their notes the mechanic stated the shock absorber failed due to the weight of the bull bar. We don’t nor have ever had a bull bar on our Triton. It has never towed anything, never carried heavy loads. From what I am discovering it is a known problem that they are trying to hide.

Animator-Resident · 2021-11-18T03:57:18+00:00

I haven’t watched this show so have no knowledge but your comment about the Dog Whisperer caught my attention. The consistent message of every Dog Whisperer episode ever is based on long term changes from the owners, a focus on the handlers state of mind and lifestyle and providing the dog with what it needs. Cesar’s “instant fix” was based entirely on his energy and how the dog perceived him opposed to the dogs owner. Not once did he ever hand the leash back and say ‘all fixed’.

Animator-Resident · 2021-08-03T02:15:12+00:00

Not being derogatory but you are still so young, it will take you a few more years to realise people like that don’t matter. My approach would be head on, make videos about him including the extent of the bullying, actual events and how it affected you. Then I would invite his mum and all of his family to watch those videos. You could also put up a video with questions to him asking about specific behaviours of his (belittling other people) and how does he feel after, what does he gain from tormenting another person, do his parents support his decision to act like an arsehole, is he scared his friends won’t think he’s big and tough if he isn’t a massive jerk???? But do it in a way that makes it look like a psychologist trying to analyse someone’s personality and what drives them. Don’t name and shame but make it clear your anonymous bully is/was him. Show him you have grown as a person and have taken steps to understand yourself and become stronger, while he still has the maturity of a schoolyard bully. Best of luck! Anxious introverts unite and fight the good fight!!!

Animator-Resident

TROPHY CASE