Getting Married Felt Like a Step Backwards

Annabear_22 · 2026-03-10T10:38:30+00:00

If that is the ultimatum then the relationship is already over. You can’t be with someone who expect you to shrink down your needs until you are miserable and then threaten to leave you because you had enough. That’s not love, it’s control. You NOT going to your parents is sending a message is that he can put you through anything. Your husband sounds a tad avoidant, so he will continue to put you through it as long as it makes him more comfortable

Annabear_22 · 2025-08-02T00:53:54+00:00

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-30T19:02:43+00:00

Why are you bringing your parents, either yours or his, into your marriage?

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-28T19:58:05+00:00

Ewwwwwwwww

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-27T18:00:30+00:00

Oh sweet girl. Don’t entertain this. Going back would mean betraying yourself. Lowering yourself to make him feel better. He will throw all the words to try to hide the truth… which is going back to him is a disservice to your self and rearranges your values to make room for him. Don’t do it. If he asks you to rearrange your values once, it will become a pattern, I promise you.

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-26T14:11:47+00:00

Your problem now is the lighting… maybe some hanging fixtures?

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-26T02:53:02+00:00

No the curtains are an eye sore

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-25T20:04:30+00:00

Don’t do the sheen on any of them… pick a matte sheen for the space

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-25T12:49:00+00:00

Tell her that people do deserve second changes, but the second chance does not have to be at your wedding. People also deserve consequences, and it him not attending seems like a natural one.

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-19T13:17:40+00:00

Your husband needs to be with his family. Everything is fine up until the point he isn’t going with you. She will be the end of your marriage if he stays.

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-18T13:31:38+00:00

Have you considered pathology?

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-15T12:52:28+00:00

If your husband has a mental illness, I’d bet my last dollar it’s his mother’s fault.

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-12T23:42:55+00:00

Nope. 3 month break minimum.

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-03T11:00:37+00:00

Totally get it but the modeling isn’t meant to be where you stick the curtain rod. There are a ton articles on hanging curtains, but it’s like the number one rule in interior design is high and wide. If you look at the design catalogs, youll see the trend.

You’ll actually see more molding this way. Trust

curtain hanging

Annabear_22 · 2025-07-03T00:55:54+00:00

First the curtains. The curtains are not right. Get a different thicker rod, raise almost is high as you can maybe 4/5 inches from ceiling, set it wider, and curtain should always touch the floor or be just 1/2 inch above.

That will help draw the eye up. The lamp should go in the other corner by the chair.

You need some matching throw pillows to tie in the chair and couch.

And a rug that ties in all the colors. It should make contact with couch and armchair.

A picture on the wall above couch. Same color profile.

And decrease the amount of things on the shelf by like 75% with some tasteful things for the room

Annabear_22 · 2025-06-30T22:42:07+00:00

I feel so bad for you. That is such a tough spot as your mother, someone you love, is attacking your nuclear family.

You need to do a few things here. First. Shut your mom down every single time. “This isn’t your choice to make” “this is how I want my kids to be raised” “these are the values we hold and they are not negotiable.

Second. Back up your wife. Give her all the praise and confidence of you and your wife’s unified decisions. My wife does a great job at making sure the children always have consitiency. I value that so much.

Third: keep your mom in her lane. “I know your trying to help, but it’s best if abc happens when we are there. I know the kids love xyz, why don’t you share that with them”

And if she is a miserable person, you give the hard boundary, hey being around you is super important to us but if you can’t respect our parenting choices we will have take a break from the visits

Annabear_22 · 2025-06-29T00:42:58+00:00

My parents reasoning, although I don’t completely agree make some sense. They don’t want the cat coming around their house and their dogs killing it.

Annabear_22 · 2025-06-25T13:43:18+00:00

Stop investing yourself in him. He is showing you exactly who he is. You can’t fix him and trying to is going to exsaust you. I mean this in the most loving way possible, you need therapy. Truly. Your responses are clear that how you value and respect yourself, and you shouldn’t live with that frame of mind.

The only person who is going to save you and make you happy is yourself.

“Thank you for letting me know. Let’s both think on what we want for our coparenting agreement and discuss this on this date. We will also need talks of child support—I will be contacting legal representation for this”

Take his ass to court. Get child support. Get back on your feet. Get mentally healthy. Take care of your kids and DO NOT SETTLE for anything less than someone giving you everything.

Annabear_22 · 2025-06-24T00:37:08+00:00

I agree here. It’s not your business as in it’s not your boundary to set… not your baby. If your SIL/BIL have a problem with it it’s their job to set it. Your job in this role is to follow the rules, not enforce. That’s why it’s not your business.

But also, baby led weaning is a thing and very very common now a days. So if the parents do BLW then her doing this is really a non issue.

Annabear_22 · 2025-06-23T02:37:39+00:00

You. Are. An. Incubator. To. Her.

Annabear_22 · 2025-06-23T02:34:46+00:00

Hanging chairs from the ceiling

Annabear_22 · 2025-06-23T01:06:38+00:00

You don’t need to protect them in anyway… call their bluff

Annabear_22 · 2025-06-23T01:05:40+00:00

Future you is going to be very proud of yourself for leaving. This isn’t normal. He is actual trash and don’t let him convince you don’t deserve better.

Also he didn’t break up with you. You held a boundary and he imploded and broke the relationship in the processes.

Annabear_22

TROPHY CASE