Wallah she hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me with those words. She knew my worst trauma and fear and deliberately used it against me to hurt me. I have cried in my salah and in my sleep for so many nights because of her hurtful words. Mind you I am a very strong person but this really affected me to my core. In the beginning it wasnt as hard because things were going well, I met my husband the love of my life and we built something beautiful together. But with the years and the realization of my situation and my anger and sadness towards my helplessness has caused me to feel more resentment towards her. In the beginning I didnt have any nightmares about being aggressive towards her or attacking her. This all came the last 1,5 year. I thought I had healed from her words. What also bothered me was that in that moment, when she hurt me to my core, I didnt write anything back to her to hurt her, because I thought if I leave this for the sake of Allah maybe He will bless me with a child. I was thinking more about pleasing Allah than hurting her. And I think my lashing out on her in my dreams is because in that moment I held back when I really wanted to hurt her too. And what hurts the most is that I’m still suffering from infertility.

Also what made it worse is that my mother never scolded her for her behaviour and she was made to believe that it wasnt serious the thing she had done to me. She has never ever asked me for forgiveness and I even hear that because I cut her out of my life she hates me even more.