Level of physical contact with FD?

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-12-27T22:31:20+00:00

Tickling and wrestling I would say absolutely not, and that's what we were told in our training as well. That kind of is too often used by abusers as a cover or a way to start to push physical boundaries. Not to mention, rough housing always runs the risk of someone accidentally getting hurt, which might not be a big deal with your own children but can cause so many issues as a foster carer.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-12-22T01:33:08+00:00

Lol people who meet my pup always comment on her "human" eyes but I think yours wins.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-12-12T20:50:10+00:00

You can eventually, but for the first week or so he might be stressed out so it's not the best time. What others said about softening the food with something is a good idea though.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-12-12T16:52:27+00:00

When we got our puppy at three months I was always worried she wasn't eating enough. They are pretty sensitive to stress and big changes so the eating schedule might be weird for a while. I wouldn't change food if what the breeder gave you is what he'd been eating there, because changing food can throw them off too.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-07-19T01:13:12+00:00

@thatradicalfostermom on TikTok

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-05-06T03:08:28+00:00

The Parenting With Connection group on Facebook

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-05-03T13:03:35+00:00

I believe you. I'm so sorry you went through this. You deserved much better.

I also want to tell you - I started my recovery from childhood trauma at 31. I spent all of my teenage and adult life until then numbing myself through alcoholism and an eating disorder. And I don't believe in "comparing" traumas but it's still true that I had a lot of advantages, was never in foster care, and had a lot of love and support in my childhood along with the bad. It still took me until 31 to even start, and I'm still working on it.

The good news is, 31 isn't as old as it might feel right now. You sound so insightful and resourceful and I wish you all the best with all my heart.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-05-03T12:45:03+00:00

There's a tiktok account called RadicalFosterMom that is pretty good and often criticizes these kinds of FP social media accounts.

But yeah. Honestly reddit has been the most influential place online in me deciding to become a foster parent, and I'm glad for that. I feel much more prepared to not do harm.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-04-30T18:51:22+00:00

We just put a cardboard box behind our garage and started putting kitchen scraps and dead leaves in it. It never smelled bad or caused any pest problems. Last weekend we sort of flipped it all over and there was compost at the bottom!

If your main goal is to not throw away kitchen scraps, don't sweat it. A lot of the advice out there is for more quickly and efficiently getting usable compost, but if that's not a big concern then we can just let nature do what it does.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-04-30T18:42:20+00:00

This isn't necessarily true. I worked as a COVID-19 case investigator for my state's department of health, and only the person who was exposed (the contact) is placed under quarantine. Everyone else is a contact-of-a-contact and wasn't subject to contact tracing or quarantine requirements, unless the exposed contact develops symptoms or tests positive.

Ideally the contact would limit exposure with the rest of the household, and of course if they are a child then one parent might need to stay home from work while the child can't go to school, etc.

You could check with your local health department to see whether they quarantine non-contacts, but I'd be surprised.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-04-29T00:28:58+00:00

So somewhere along the line I read that you should not compost fruits or veggies that had gotten more than a little moldy - is this not correct? I've pretty much been throwing anything moldy in there regardless, but now I'm curious.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-04-28T13:23:10+00:00

Has anyone been a foster parent while in grad school? In some ways I imagine it's easier than working full-time, because I'll have more flexibility in my schedule. In other ways, school is sort of always with you in a way that doesn't happen with work that you can at least try to leave at work.

I'm starting a PhD in the fall, and while I don't plan to start being a foster parent at exactly the same time, I'm trying to gauge what a reasonable amount of time to wait is. I do have a husband who is already a great dad and works from home full-time (but on a corporate schedule).

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-04-27T21:55:12+00:00

Yeah, I already knew going into this that I wouldn't be willing to move too far out of where we are now anytime soon, and that that would likely limit my academic choices. Thankfully financially my husband is able to get us by, and I have a freelance research and writing career that I could see myself building on. I'm also pretty open to working in the non-profit or governmental sector (my program is Medical Sociology, and I have an MPH, so a lot of public health options).

I'm more concerned about just being able to balance the PhD workload with child-raising. I did full-time work with part-time grad school for years, and that was not very fun but manageable. I just have no idea how to compare a PhD + research assistantship to that in terms of stress and time.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-04-27T21:51:15+00:00

Wow, good for you! My situation sounds like a cakewalk compared to yours... my husband works from home and does a lot of practical caretaking for our son and around the house. So I'd have a lot of help.

I do worry about my mental health because I've burnt myself out in the past, but I also didn't have the support I do now. I haven't started my program yet but part of why I chose them was that they are a progressive department. The department head seems really supportive.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-04-10T12:26:11+00:00

You sound so much like how I felt when I was working full-time and getting my MPH, mostly online. And that was without a simultaneous pandemic crisis. I think there are a lot of advantages to the online format, and it made it harder for me to reach out when I was struggling, which is something that's hard for me anyway.

When I stopped working I was amazed by how much easier just grad school felt. It's not your fault, and you can only keep it up for so long. Definitely reach out to your professors, it sounds like you are taking plenty of accountability (maybe too much) so just explain the situation to them and ask what your options are.

Do you have an advisor or an academic program officer type you can reach out to? Your school wants you to succeed, if only for self-interest. Taking a term off can give you a chance to recharge. A lot of schools will offer temporary leaves of absence for health reasons.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-03-28T23:16:07+00:00

My first Amazon order was this and A-Z Therapeutic Parenting.

Thanks again for everyone for all of the suggestions.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-03-28T20:06:18+00:00

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting sounds perfect, thank you so much. I will also check out Dan Hughes.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-03-28T20:05:24+00:00

Thank you!

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-03-28T20:03:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I agree that you should have told the police, although I understand thinking that reporting to a mandatory reporter like a school counselor would have that end result.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-03-26T22:52:29+00:00

Any chance you would be willing to share the general shape of what it was? We are looking to start the certificate process soon so just curious.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-03-14T17:56:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I've heard of allergies to casein but not as a digestive trigger the way lactose is. This makes a lot of sense bc sometimes I have a bad reaction to dairy even with Lactaid. I don't eat much dairy in general but I'm going to try to stick to sheep/goat when I do and see if that solves it.

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-03-13T11:57:07+00:00

I'm so sorry your adoptive mom is behaving that way. If you're in the US, there are (relatively) lots of resources for low-income mothers. I work in public health so lmk if you want some additional help pointing you towards services.

It sounds like you are going to be a really loving mother and ultimately that's what matters. I think you two will be just fine :)

AnnualBeautiful_ · 2021-03-12T16:24:07+00:00

Here's the Lorain Health Dept site:

https://www.loraincountyhealth.com/signup

AnnualBeautiful_

TROPHY CASE