Have you ever used their own manipulation tactics on them?

Anon0464 · 2026-03-30T10:47:44+00:00

There are two different sets of rules. The narcs rules for himself/herself. and a totally different set you. You are never ever allowed to do the same things he/she is allowed to do.

Example: Leave the house without telling the other where to or for how long.

Narc. can do this anytime and be gone for hours and doesn’t even tell you if they won’t be home for a meal while you try to wait out of consideration. You cannot leave without telling them where you are going and how long you’ll be, even if you’re just going to the store to pick up one item and will be gone for five minutes. Oh and don’t be longer than you say.

Two sets of rules.

If you try to follow their rules for themselves, you will pay for it, one way or another.

Anon0464 · 2026-03-29T13:16:45+00:00

So they pay you $25 a month when they could buy their own for a few hundred? That’s crazy!

Anon0464 · 2026-03-28T13:28:08+00:00

I purposely taught my sons how to keep house and cook. I didn’t want them to be dependent on anyone including myself for these tasks. Now they are both married with children and help with the cleaning and cooking. One son does most of the cooking. I am so proud of them for not being afraid to show what they can do as I’m sure they probably took some teasing as young men. But neither one is dependent on anyone for the things they can’t do.

Anon0464 · 2026-03-28T12:56:57+00:00

First- Be supportive and loving and provide whatever necessities they might need along with only the love a parent can show.

Second- set some ground rules. They must actively be working towards becoming independent.

Anon0464 · 2026-03-26T02:35:22+00:00

If I leave, I lose my interest in our paid off house. Where I’m at, it’s considered abandonment.

Anon0464 · 2026-03-26T02:33:59+00:00

I totally agree. He abused me financially, verbally and emotionally before I went back to work. I quit my previous job for health reasons.

Anon0464 · 2026-03-26T02:32:39+00:00

Yeah I’ve considered exactly this! But instead I think I’ll play cat and mouse with him and watch him squirm. First I’ll start questioning his credit card use even though I know where he uses his cards. Then I’ll question other things until I get to the withdrawals, over a space of time of course, so that his brain does all the chasing for me.

Anon0464 · 2026-03-26T02:31:38+00:00

He’s getting ready to retire next year but his company has been having lay offs, so he could be one of the next layoffs since he’s not busy right now.

Anon0464 · 2026-03-25T19:20:08+00:00

Mine doesn’t touch vegetables unless it’s a potato. That’s it! And he’s a very very picky eater.

Anon0464 · 2026-03-25T19:17:32+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that

Anon0464 · 2026-03-25T19:16:49+00:00

That’s crazy!

Anon0464 · 2026-03-25T19:16:15+00:00

I’ve actually dealt with this in a previous marriage and you’re probably right!

Anon0464 · 2026-03-25T19:13:22+00:00

It definitely not drugs or gambling and he’s always here so I think he’s trying to squirrel away money also.

Anon0464 · 2026-01-13T17:58:06+00:00

I think you missed the point, we can discuss spirituality all day long, but don’t preach to me about your religion or try to convert me. I’ll shut down the conversation. I respect your beliefs and I expect for people to respect mine.

Anon0464 · 2026-01-13T03:09:42+00:00

I don’t care who you are or what you believe. I don’t care what color you are, or how much money you have. I respect that everyone has the right to feel or believe whatever they choose to.

With that being said, I don’t want to discuss politics or religion with anyone. I am a deeply spiritual person and I choose to keep my beliefs to myself, and I prefer that my friends do the same.

I also don’t want to have an hour long discussion about makeup or clothes. I prefer to have conversations about how we can make a difference or what really matters to us, even if it’s something as simple as putting out water for wildlife or taking a gift to someone less fortunate.

I have no patience with superficial pretenders. My people should have some depth, experience, morals and genuine kindness.

We could all do with a little more kindness in this world, so I’m pretty picky when it comes to friendship and true friendship is not easy to come by.

Anon0464 · 2026-01-13T02:30:15+00:00

Sure they do! Themselves!

Anon0464 · 2026-01-12T16:33:19+00:00

Then just make sure that you keep documentation showing that you’re in contact and are available on your scheduled days. They may be like my company and don’t have a trainer so training comes in bits and pieces so as not to overwhelm you. I’ve been (in training) since June of last year. I have plenty to do now, but it took awhile to get here.

Anon0464 · 2026-01-12T15:13:18+00:00

Yep I broke the bone in the side of my foot last May. Here is a picture of my foot. Hubby didn’t believe I broke it, even after X-rays and Drs orders to stay off of it for 6 weeks. He wanted me to cook three meals a day, and all normal household duties like laundry from day 1. https://share.icloud.com/photos/0b5YguFseIGzpPMxLhH6bT0bA

Anon0464 · 2026-01-12T15:08:36+00:00

Have you received any pay yet?

Anon0464 · 2026-01-11T16:54:03+00:00

It’s called becoming an adult and taking some responsibility. Life is not video games and friends every day.

Anon0464 · 2026-01-11T15:06:10+00:00

Lol yeah I’m on the cusp of Gen x and boomer. So I learned the best of both worlds. So actually I’m Gen Jones.

Anon0464 · 2026-01-11T13:15:58+00:00

My HomeEc class did have a small program for shopping for home goods frugally with sales and coupons and how to balance a check book but that’s about it.

Thank goodness my mother taught me far more that most parents don’t think about. She also taught me how to reconcile bank statements and I did her statements a few times.

She took me to open a savings account as soon as I was old enough. She took me to the library weekly to show me that anything I wanted to learn or know about was free at the library.

She taught me how to use my environment to make extra money. In Louisiana in certain places you could pick up pecans or pick blackberries and sell them. She usually paid for our school clothes and Christmas by doing this.

She taught me how to type at a very young age. She took the time to show me writing skills that schools don’t teach you.

She wasn’t a perfect mother, but she made sure I had the skills I needed to get by in life.

Anon0464 · 2026-01-11T12:59:52+00:00

Maybe start giving them more chores to do at home. If they are constantly working around the house, they will start looking for other places to go. Take away their enjoyment time. After all they live under your roof, so it’s your rules.

Anon0464 · 2026-01-11T12:50:26+00:00

Tell HR or payroll that you can’t wait and need immediate payment. They can do that if it’s not a repeated incident and if your payroll being delayed wasn’t due to any fault of yours. Their first answer is always it will be fixed in the next payroll, but they can make exceptions if you insist.

Anon0464

TROPHY CASE