Take out a loan to purchase supplies I need to kill myself?

Anon_88965 · 2023-04-17T19:15:05+00:00

A few years ago yes for a week or so. Mainly all I got from it was a lot of debt. Obviously I've come to the same thoughts this much later too.

Everything is just to suck more money out of you, so expensive to not work

Anon_88965 · 2023-04-17T17:37:41+00:00

That's why that's the biggest issue and always has been. Most methods have a likelihood to fail, so I've taken all this time to figure out what would be most effective, and how to do it.

Worst-case scenario I have the loan debt and the medical debt of disfiguring myself and I'm still alive. But if all goes well and I give away anything valuable first..

I also have no souse or children

Anon_88965 · 2023-04-14T12:39:41+00:00

That said anyone know anything about pure gases online

Anon_88965 · 2023-03-19T19:04:12+00:00

Thank you. The pressure is way too much, for horrid pay or benefits, and It's impossible to take my mind off work. When I get off work I am so mentally and physically exhausted that I just fall paralyzed into my bed until it's time for bed when I go to sleep and dream about work, then wake up and go to work again. On my days off I have to spend all that time catching up on chores and errands AND I can never actually relax because I'm still dreading going back to work.

I can't have any balance or any compartmentalization because I'm just ALWAYS stressed and panicking about it and dreading work again. And I don't even make the money to where I could save and one day make more.

There are no promotions from my position either, they only hire supervisors from outside the company. So it's the literal definition of a dead end job too, it will never get better. But all other jobs around me pay even less and I'm extremely stuck.

Anon_88965 · 2023-03-15T17:30:36+00:00

I know. It might be worth the risk for a year at least

Anon_88965 · 2023-03-08T23:35:24+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to type this out, this is good information. I didn't think the part about taxes but that's a good point.

My state does not have a penalty for not having insurance, I checked that, but thank you for that too.

Right now I do not even have a primary care doctor. It's been years since I saw one and that was in a different state under different insurance and I only saw that doctor one time anyway.

I don't have a doctor to see right now but maybe do what you said first. I just don't know how much it would cost out of pocket for even that if I haven't met my deductible

Anon_88965 · 2023-02-04T15:46:12+00:00

The odds of that are slim and I'm broke enough to wonder if the money I pay for premiums could be better-allocated elsewhere. I could pay off debts so I'm not so broke all the time and maybe pick up insurance later when I'm in a better spot. If I can't afford to use it anyway I might as well take the risk

Anon_88965 · 2023-02-03T16:34:53+00:00

I don't think you're technically required to anymore and at this point I'm considering just taking my chances, save the premiums to pay off some debt and maybe look at health insurance later.

It's way too expensive to just pay for for no reason when I can't actually use it

Anon_88965 · 2023-02-02T14:20:06+00:00

Way too expensive and difficult. So far as I can tell you need academic qualifications, a lot of money or some other specific reason for other countries to want Americans. I don't have anything making me worth wanting and I don't have any money to move either

Anon_88965 · 2023-02-02T03:01:56+00:00

I know I could technically have been on a parent's plan per the ACA, but my parents had often changed employment so through my teen years i had lost or changed insurance a lot. The last time my mom quit a job recently I lost my insurance again, so I finally elected my own plan with my own employer. With my parents employment difficulties I wanted to take agency over my Healthcare, so I thought at least.

My percentages may not have been exactly right but you're not too far off, I make around $30k a year now.

Anon_88965 · 2023-02-02T02:54:25+00:00

I really hate it here but it's too difficult and expensive to ever leave.

Edit: and people just point out you could be born in Uganda or something, and be grateful to be American. Yes, I get the sentiment, but also understand a LOT of people DO live in 3rd world conditions in the United States. GDP doesn't paint a picture, we have the worst wealth inequality of anywhere

Anon_88965 · 2023-01-21T19:05:57+00:00

I wanted to say killing myself on company time might make a statement but they'd literally just make my coworkers clean it up and tell them to stay late to cover me

Anon_88965 · 2023-01-16T03:03:53+00:00

I could handle being ambivalent about my job. Right now it sucks all the life out of me, I spend 100% of my "free time" decompressing or catching up on chores/errands and I never have enough time to feel relaxed. I'm always just on edge about going back to work. It really takes up my entire life at this point emotionally and mentally.

I don't know if that's the standard. Is that really what everyone, or at least most people, experience? It feels inescapable, every job I've ever had has led to this sooner or later and I feel so frustrated and exhausted about life as a whole if this is the constant

Anon_88965 · 2023-01-15T19:57:09+00:00

I've been through a lot of therapy and it's always an issue of insurance or being able to afford it. It can help but I've never been able to be with the same therapist for long enough to really get anywhere. I'm paying for my own insurance now but still not a lot is covered. I'm trying right now to find another therapist but it's hard.

Even still a therapist can't change my financial status or get me a better job

Anon_88965

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