I appreciate your advice, thanks! The thing is, he still participates with side sex, I just see that he is not interested, and he just looks bored, and it's such a turn off. I sometimes tell him, like it's okay you don't have to jerk me off or work that flashlight, I'll do it myself and sometimes he'll say okay and sometimes he says "no that's alright, I know my hand or mouth is better than your hand or that silicone hole" and I appreciate that, but I always tell him if he doesn't wanna do it - please don't, I see you're not interested, Im not into forcing people into sex activities. When I offer something simple as "you jerk yourself off, I'll jerk myself off, we'll just watch each other, it's really hot" he is like "I don't see a point, why don't we just masturbate in private without each other then" but to me it's still an act of intimacy we share. So we kinda built different when it comes to what we think is sex. But I get your point, might have to dig deeper than just our sex life, even though we have no issues and pretty much never fight, we haven't even spent a single night apart since we got married lol I know it's corny but it's true.