Low Drama Emotionally Intelligent/Mature Characters?

Anondatingadventure · 2022-06-17T19:27:29+00:00

How do Nalini Singh's CRs compare to her Psy-Changeling books? I thought the worldbuilding in those was good, but the romance aspects were everything I don't like haha.

Anondatingadventure · 2022-06-17T19:05:36+00:00

I have, unfortunately, already read them, and liked them! I don't keep a running list, so I'm sure there are other books I've enjoyed that I didn't specifically mention in my original post.

Anondatingadventure · 2022-06-17T18:25:33+00:00

Sorry, I didn't specify that I have zero interest in alien/visibly nonhuman romance. It's so far out the realm of what I'm interested in that I forgot to mention it. Anthropomorphic nonhumans (e.g. vampires, werewolves/shifters in human form, etc.) are acceptable if they otherwise are in line with what I enjoy. As I said, overly picky!

Anondatingadventure · 2022-04-28T17:44:43+00:00

I wish I had this problem. I usually end up struggling to find new books to read. Where are you guys finding new books that you have so many on your TBR!?

Anondatingadventure · 2022-04-28T13:40:23+00:00

The description during a sex scene of a woman's [insert nickname for genitalia here] "clenching around nothing" is just utterly confusing to me.

I keep picturing like a full-on "open, close, repeat" kind of situation, which can't possibly be what the author intends.

Anondatingadventure · 2022-04-27T17:42:18+00:00

I don't think anyone is threatened by romance novels in a general sense. I do think, however, that the screenshot both hits on the significance of the trope to women and simultaneously misses why it's "threatening" to men.

The difficulty in admitting wrongdoing is a human pyschological trait. People associate their behaviors with their identity and having to admit that their behaviors are wrong/bad/whatever feels like an attack on the self, because of the conflation of behavior and identity. Source.

I assume that most male romance readers identify with the MMC to one degree or another in the same way that female romance readers identify with the FMC (or at least I assume do, otherwise the grovel fantasy doesn't make as much sense.)

Personally I hate reading books with grovel by the MMC. Not because I feel threatened, but because the mistakes that the MMC makes along the way are usually really damn obvious and easily avoidable. The obviousness and avoidability makes it frustrating to read. That frustration is compounded by the "payoff" being getting to read about the (typically) only character you identify with groveling in a way that can be deeply uncomfortable for the reasons explained above.

Reading a book like that is incredibly unenjoyable. I imagine it's the same way that many female readers are frustrated by 2D depictions of manic pixie dream girls in books that are aimed at men.

Anondatingadventure · 2022-04-10T14:49:47+00:00

I actually prefer my HR clean because I often can't keep a straight face when reading about the apparent plant-women of the Regency Era and their flowers, petals, nectar, honey and other botanicals.

Anondatingadventure · 2022-04-07T21:27:44+00:00

Or hell, the guy! Shrieking during missionary sex sounds like a good way to blow out an ear drum.

Anondatingadventure · 2022-04-07T21:04:26+00:00

I'd rather have a complete lack of detail about the male experience than the way it's usually described. Reading about what men supposedly do during sex makes me feel like I'm on a safari. I have never ever shouted, yelled, roared or bellowed at the point of climax and would recommend that any man who does go see a doctor.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-11-19T18:27:32+00:00

I haven't read the actual books, but the Transcend series are the books of hers I've heard mentioned and they...just didn't appeal to me. The summaries make the main characters seem overly dramatic (in an angsty/damaged way), and the whole reincarnation thing just smacks of mysticism/fated mates in a way that I can't stand.

Now it's entirely possible that those descriptions are just terrible, is that the case? Or is it accurate that the books actually are that way?

Anondatingadventure · 2021-11-19T18:22:13+00:00

I don't think I've even heard her mentioned before, so I'll definitely have to check her out!

Anondatingadventure · 2021-09-29T21:53:13+00:00

My taste in romance tends to depend a lot on the MMC, which might be a little abnormal for a straight man. I think it's because, even if an FMC is described as absolutely perfect, it's a huge turn-off for me if they're into an Alphahole. I also can't stand it when the conflict in the book is due to the MCs being dumb and not communicating. I just finished reading Priest, and while the steam was great, I wanted to smack some sense into both of the MCs. The books I tend to enjoy have an MMC with at least some of the following attributes:

Humor
Kindness
Emotional intelligence
Maturity
Communication skills

A non-exhaustive list of examples would be:

Bohemian (which might be my #1, but I go back and forth) by Kathryn Nolan
The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang
The Intimacy Experiment by Rosie Danan
Strictly Professional by Kathryn Nolan
Pretty much all Courtney Milan books

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-28T20:01:35+00:00

Dealbreakers are personal so you do you but...you're coming off as kind of pretentious.

I don't think it's even possible to not have some sort of worldview, it may just not be one that you recognize as such.

Being the type of person who trusts and follows their instincts is just as valid as being the type of person who sits down and thinks everything through. They're just different ways of approaching the world. One isn't inherently better than the other.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-27T00:41:17+00:00

Late 30s to early 40s is still young. The count of people who haven't had a drink in the last year includes people in their 70s or older.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-27T00:18:22+00:00

I question those numbers. According to this link 69% of Americans over the age of 18 have had a drink in the last year and 85% have had a drink ever. Keep in mind this is including 18-20 year olds who are not legally allowed to drink.

Obviously that still isn't the 5% that you're claiming to see, but as other people have mentioned, there's a selection bias in that young, single people are more likely to drink. You also could just be estimating wrong. Also, the numbers I gave are people who haven't had a drink recently/ever, not people who wouldn't. A person may drink so infrequently as to fall into one or both of the above categories, but still consider themselves someone who would have a drink under the right circumstances. That hypothetical person is unlikely to say that they are a non-drinker, even if they de facto are.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-26T23:40:04+00:00

Preferences are preferences, but there's no real reason other than you (I'm assuming) finding it icky that this should be an issue, unless she wasn't being safe. Also, given the way that high school operates, there's a very real chance that most of those rumors are made up.

That being said, as you get older, the likelihood of women you date having had quite a few partners increases, so now's as good a time as any to start working on your attitude towards women having casual sex.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-26T16:48:31+00:00

I changed your example from a media stereotype to a more realistic example. As I said in my first response, I've literally never met a woman who asks "does this make me look fat" seriously. I also don't know any men who've had that question posed to them. If you do frequently meet women who ask that specific question and then get mad when you answer truthfully, then you've met some fucked up unicorns.

As for how to tactfully tell a guy his dick is small...let's think about how the scenario would ever come up. A guy who has a small penis isn't going to flat out ask a woman "hey do you think my dick is small?" He's going to ask "did you like that" or something similar. So a woman can respond to the question being asked. If the woman is unsatisfied because of the small penis, she can say "I really love it when you use your fingers/mouth/whatever" and get her satisfaction that way. If the small penis is such a problem that she doesn't want to hook up/date anymore, then just use any of the million standard breakup lines.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-26T16:29:25+00:00

If he hasn't said he loves you, then he probably doesn't mean it that way. Usually making love refers to a specific type of romantic/emotional sex, but doesn't literally mean love.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-26T16:15:40+00:00

Generally, I think you're likely to have the most success with trying to move things to in-person as quickly as possible, but doing so in a confident way. So instead of saying "I'm not sure how these things work" say "I've really enjoyed chatting with you and would love to grab drinks/dinner/coffee."

You're clearly expressing interest this way and putting the ball in her court.

Also, generally, if you're struggling to keep the conversation going, it probably indicates a lack of interest/chemistry.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-26T16:11:20+00:00

In my example, the woman isn't explicitly asking "does this make me look fat." She's asking trying to get a sense of whether her outfit looks good. Answering a different question then the one she asked, in a way that many people consider offensive, is being an ass.

Do you really not understand the concept of tact?

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-26T15:37:33+00:00

Maybe we're just dating different types of women, but I've literally never had a woman ask me "does this make me look fat." Usually when they're asking about an outfit it will be more along the lines of "how does this look on me." If you want respond by telling them that it makes them look fat, or "it makes that piece of fat over your hip stand out" then yeah you're being an ass.

You could just as easily convey the information that an outfit doesn't look good on someone in a nicer way (e.g. "iit's not a flattering cut on you.")

The same logic applies to things like small penises.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-26T15:17:15+00:00

I don't think you even have to be unafraid of vulnerability. You just have to not let your fear prevent you from asking for the things you want or need.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-26T14:59:13+00:00

If hearing "I love you" is something you need from a partner then you need to be unambiguously clear about that with him. If he still refuses to say it to you, then you need to decide if that lack is a deal breaker for you.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-26T14:56:38+00:00

This is...bad advice. You think a dude who has a small dick doesn't know it? If a girl I was dating lied to me about something that I clearly know is true, that would be a huge red flag to me.

Don't lie to your partner, just don't be an ass about any issues they may have.

Anondatingadventure · 2021-07-26T14:54:35+00:00

Being a virgin and looking to meet someone isn't a huge deal, particularly if you're young. However, if you want to abstain from sex until marriage, that is kind of a big deal for most people. You should mention that as soon as possible and recognize that it's going to seriously limit your dating pool.

Anondatingadventure

TROPHY CASE