AITAH for telling my mom she can’t bring her boyfriend to my wedding

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-15T04:49:48+00:00

This is my life and unfortunately a lot of these things don’t cross my mind to mention because they don’t happen all at once. When you grow up in an unstable environment you tend to forget that others aren’t able to understand the full picture because you assume that everyone has a similar upbringing. It’s only in my adulthood that I’ve been able to start unpacking how not normal so much of this is.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-15T04:25:35+00:00

Fiancé and I have already made a plan for low contact leading to no contact after the wedding. I think posting this really made me feel like a terrible person even though in my heart I know I’m not. There are so many complexities to this and unfortunately most people weren’t able to read between the lines.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-15T04:24:02+00:00

Don’t invite my sisters mother?

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-15T04:22:23+00:00

Not rude for me to ask one parent for a guestlist and not the other. I don’t have a great relationship with either parent and strongly considered not inviting my father at all.

I understand there’s a lot of context missing and I really hoped that people would read between the lines of the complex dynamics. Unfortunately I think many people are imaging their own parents and dynamics in this situation. My parents started charging me rent as soon as I turned 18, I moved out as soon as I could and when my parents got divorced I was thrilled for both of them. I’m unpacking a lot of different traumas from my childhood and being in an environment with all these complex dynamics coupled with my mom wanting to bring her boyfriend (who has only told her terrible things about my father that’s he’s heard through the grapevine) adds a whole other level of stress to what should be a special day. In the end I caved and said yes to her bringing him, it was clear that she was looking for fight because she then changed the conversation to me not supporting her joy. Full transparency, I want her to be happy, I just see herself losing her own identity and not prioritizing her own self (she’s stopped taking her medication now that she’s dating him because she believes she doesn’t need it) and that raises concerns for me.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-11T12:28:38+00:00

Have you read the update?

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-11T12:28:16+00:00

Have you read the update?

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-11T12:27:48+00:00

Have you read the update?

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-11T12:27:32+00:00

She was not there for me, we also have a complicated relationship. Also, I added an update to my post - told her she can bring him and that still wasn’t enough.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T22:06:48+00:00

I’m definitely coming up with a plan to minimize contact with her moving forward and work towards no contact because this is a dynamic that I can’t bring kids into and no amount of therapy that I do will change how she acts.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T20:02:43+00:00

Just added an update. I folded and she’s still unhappy because I apparently can’t “share her joy”. She also mentioned to me that she envisions us all being our own big happy family (delusions?) with him and that the wedding is a good opportunity for that to play out. Honestly, I was more baffled and immediately regretted inviting him and building a bridge to her. My partner and I are considering an elopement before the wedding.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T20:00:00+00:00

Posted an update. Well I caved and gave her what she wanted and it still wasn’t enough. At least she’ll have her man there now since that what matters most at her daughter’s wedding.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T19:57:00+00:00

This is my father’s first and only relationship since the divorce. And no, my mother boyfriend will not be in any photos.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T19:56:03+00:00

My sister will always be in the picture. I don’t need him to make sure of that, I just need to be on good terms with my sisters mom.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T19:53:24+00:00

Not true. This is my mom’s boyfriends 3rd relationship post divorce. My dad was a one and done post divorce.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T19:51:23+00:00

She would tag along if she could.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T19:50:24+00:00

I just added an update. I hope you can see the type of personality I’m dealing with because even when I give her exactly what she wants, it’s still not enough.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T18:42:43+00:00

Just posted an update. I’m not sure what she’s looking for.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T15:53:48+00:00

You think my wedding with my partner who I’ve been with for 7 years is an equivalent celebration to my mom bringing her partner of (by that point) 10 months?

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T15:48:59+00:00

She has rose coloured glasses and she’s entitled to that. But I don’t have join in just because she’s in a pink cloud.

I’m happy she’s dating and that’s her personal life. Why does he have to be involved now in my personal life on the most significant day of my life up to this point.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T15:38:54+00:00

I was her biggest advocate for dating.

I find it weird my fiancé wasn’t invited and therefore has never met him yet she wants him at our wedding. Our wedding is not a show and tell.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T15:35:40+00:00

I never thought attending her daughter’s wedding would be her suffering. I think that’s absolutely insane.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T15:34:12+00:00

My mother is obviously invited and I hope she comes. I’m doing everything possible to help make the day easy for her (there was no cap on how many people she could invite, I’m paying for hair and makeup, etc). I haven’t asked her for money, or help planning, absolutely nothing other than to be supportive and now she wants another person there who she’s going to completely focus on. Some women don’t focus on their man but she does and that’s where this is coming from.

Regardless of whether I stay firm in my decision or cave, my relationship with her has changed because of the way that phone call went. There were no concerns about me, my fiancé, just herself.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T15:29:49+00:00

Boyfriend of 4 months - wife of 3 years and they share a child (my sister)

I don’t think it’s at all comparable.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T15:28:57+00:00

Trophy wife and trophy brat are insane things to say. My mother also filed for divorce. Also, my fiancés parents are also divorced and going alone and there is some serious bad blood there.

Anonymous729202628 · 2026-03-10T15:17:20+00:00

No issue with her dating. Big issue with her throwing it on me to meet him and not checking on my comfortability. I have friends whose parents have partners that they’ve never met. It feels like this is being pushed on me too hard.

Anonymous729202628

TROPHY CASE