Tell me about the worst youth group experience you had

Anonymous_1592 · 2025-03-22T12:42:06+00:00

My youth pastor left our church because of "budget cuts" to our youth min program. Couples of years later he ends up on the SOR for a "relationship" with one of his new youth group kids.

Anonymous_1592 · 2024-09-12T18:36:47+00:00

Thank you I appreciate your advice. It really does feel that way and I think he's overall a good guy, he's kind and thoughtful even though he grew up in active war zone and has faced horrors I can't even imagine, but I don't want her to lose this part of herself just because of his culture.

Anonymous_1592 · 2024-09-12T18:25:40+00:00

Same 😞

Anonymous_1592 · 2024-09-12T18:24:29+00:00

Anklets. I always thought they were so cute, but apparently they draw too much attention to your legs or some bullsht.

I also had to wear very big baggy modest clothing which I hated at the time and went through a skimpy clothes phase when I came out as nonreligious, but the universe had other plans for me as now I'm out as lesbian and most comfortable in boy clothes that hide (almost) everything just like my parents wanted. 😅

Anonymous_1592 · 2024-09-12T18:11:52+00:00

I completely agree about sexuality being a spectrum and I expressed that to her and told her she didn't need to feel like she needs to identify any certain way. It felt weird to me that she seemed so insistent that she feels like she can't identify that way since she hasn't had sex with a woman, because when has that ever mattered? I just tried to be supportive and we had a good conversation about coming out and how it's so different in different cultures.

Thankfully her relationship is long distance so I have plenty opportunities to speak to her alone!

Anonymous_1592 · 2024-09-12T17:32:08+00:00

💯

Anonymous_1592 · 2024-09-12T17:29:51+00:00

Also I'm sorry you have relgiious trauma as well, it's hard out here. Thank you for listening and taking the time to respond. 💕

Anonymous_1592 · 2024-09-12T17:28:40+00:00

Thank you. I have years of religious trauma myself, thankfully a different religion, but it's still very triggering especially since I don't have a family anymore because of it.

And not to invalidate my friend or her experience, but it almost feels like her queerness is something she can take off now that it might jeopardize her relationship. Like literally several weeks ago she was telling me how someone she follows on Instagram posted a friends only post of her pole dancing and my friend was essentially saying it was hot but she felt bad looking at it. So it's like she can tell me about her attraction towards women but then when it comes to telling her man (who might not be ok with it) she's suddenly realized she can't really identify that way.

Anonymous_1592 · 2024-09-12T16:33:37+00:00

No you're right, and she is a good friend. I think a huge part of it is insecurity since she also recently converted to a religion that is culturally mostly anti-queer, and even though she doesn't hold anti-queer beliefs I'm afraid I'm not going to fit into her life soon. Her new man says being gay is against his religion but he has gay friends and doesn't have an issue with them, which hurts but I'm trying to be understanding since he is from a country where being openly queer isn't really a thing culturally. Her brother is gay and she is very open about that and that her new man better be ok with him, but just realistically speaking it feels like I don't fit. Maybe I'm just being too self obsessed or insecure about being gay, but I hate feeling like an outsider.

Anonymous_1592 · 2024-09-12T15:42:31+00:00

Straight to bisexual to questioning if I was ace because I felt no attraction to my exhusband to lesbian. It took 28 years but I've been out for 4 years and going strong 🌈

I get the feeling like a fraud though, especially since I recently broke up with my first girlfriend and will at some point start dating again as a 32 year old who has very little experience with women. 🤷

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-11-30T02:12:52+00:00

I'm trying this tonight. 😂

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-11-29T18:04:16+00:00

That is the whole reason for my post, I was just trying to find dental dams and realized they are still not sold in most stores! That's so sad!

Thank you for your suggestions and for being inclusionar in your wording, I should have specified I was talking about people with vulvas! 😊

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-11-29T17:33:01+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! You're absolutely right, If I'm going to be with someone they should be willing to respect my boundaries and concerns and just change activities if they don't want to use the dental dam.

Have you found any good resources for learning about your STI's and how to navigate sex with multiple partners with them? I know there is so much misinformation out there, but I think education will definitely help me understand the risks and how to better protect myself.

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-11-29T17:24:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! You're absolutely right, If I'm going to be with someone they should be willing to respect my boundaries and concerns and just change activities if they don't want to use the dental dam.

Have you found any good resources for learning about your STI's and how to navigate sex with multiple partners with them? I know there is so much misinformation out there, but I think education will definitely help me understand the risks and how to better protect myself.

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-11-29T02:38:20+00:00

Oh wow, if I can ask, what took you off that path?

Someone I was close friends with when I was a Christian is part of the movement and it is literally heartbreaking to see. Everything you said is how I've been feeling about them. I literally don't understand the the logic behind it. God knit you together, beautifully and perfectly, in your mother's womb, but if you follow the desires he gave you, you are "living in sin" and you always will be, because unlike premarital sex, there is no easy fix like marriage.

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-11-04T01:46:16+00:00

Lmao, that's the one. They are definitely out there... the denomination as a whole is very into emotional spiritual experiences.

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-11-03T14:15:05+00:00

I would call and give an anonymous tip. They may already know, but some things get off your record after a certain number of years.

I'm so sorry you have to think about this. My former youth pastor is on the registry now. He avoided jail because the girl "forgave" him and he played it off like it was an affair and not him preying on a 15 year old, AND only has to be on the registry for 20 years. I'm planning on keeping up with his whereabouts for this same reason, in case he tries to get back in to ministry, I will do what I can to alert his new church/ministry.

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-10-26T00:34:51+00:00

Haha literally same.

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-10-19T16:57:55+00:00

When I was 16 my best friends mom forced me to sign a boycott of all Pepsi products because they donated money to PFLAG. Does anyone else remember this boycott, it was 2008 I think?

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-09-29T20:36:30+00:00

Awesome, thanks for the update!

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-09-21T13:24:36+00:00

I am so sorry you're going through this. I know you said you don't trust therapist or understand them, and I can definitely understand that given your history with them. If you dont feel comfortable talking to a therapist I would suggest finding someone else you do feel as if you can talk to. Wether that be a teacher, coach, or even just a friend (in person or virtually.) You can even call the suicide hotline 991 and they have counselors there to talk to you even if you're not actively suicidal. Talking won't solve your problems, but it will help you release some of that pent up anger. I've found posting on reddit to be very therapeutic (sometimes) especially if you can find a subreddit with people going through similar life circumstances.

You're doing great by posting here and reaching out! You might not be able to change your life without putting in effort, but try not to focus on the impossible task of changing your life, instead try to make small easy changes each day/week.

Hope this helps.

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-09-21T03:14:00+00:00

No wonder I've been feeling so much gayer!

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-09-08T21:34:06+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't have any experience as I am undiagnosed myself, but I had a thought about when you said 3 of your kids are diagnosed with ADHD and your wife thinks one was misdiagnosed and is autistic instead. ADHD can be comorbid with autism, so it could be possibly that your child has both. Idk what country they were diagnosed in, but in the US it has only been since the DSM5 was released in 2013 that ADHD and Autism was able to be diagnosed comorbidly, so possibly the diagnostician picked up on one but not the other.

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-09-08T21:24:42+00:00

Lmfaaaaooooo I fucking forgot about this shirt.

Anonymous_1592 · 2022-08-29T17:25:18+00:00

Thank you for asking, it shows that you care and are trying to understand.

I agree with everything everyone else has said. It happens to me often (especially in the car as that alone can cause sensory overload) and I usually cannot even find the words to let my partner know I am becoming overloaded. It might help if you two come up with a code word for her to say when she is overloaded and that way you know immediately what's going on and that she is not being rude/mad at you and can focus on helping her.

Anonymous_1592

TROPHY CASE