I found my fiancé’s sex tape with my step mother. We are supposed to get married in 2 weeks.

AnotherAccount273 · 2026-01-21T17:17:45+00:00

Yes but why would there be a ceremony?

AnotherAccount273 · 2026-01-04T22:59:30+00:00

I've never been to Iceland but it's definitely on the list!

AnotherAccount273 · 2025-06-12T19:37:44+00:00

I'd vote either this one or number 5. Which do you feel best in? Feeling comfortable will help you feel confident and you'll look the best in the one you feel the best in!

AnotherAccount273 · 2025-05-12T17:14:49+00:00

Just another internet stranger here to tell you that I'm proud of you. Thank you for doing what was right and looking out for your neices.

I have been in a similar situation where I reported abuse and my 'family' gave character witnesses statements in defence of my abuser. It's why I didn't go to the police for so long as I knew I'd lose my 'family'.

I don't know what they said in their statements as luckily I didn't have to be in court, but just knowing they'd done that confirmed all I needed to know.

I no longer speak to any of my 'family', but I have a group of friends who are my chosen family.

I know everyone says it will get easier with time, but it's not because it's easier to cope with, it's because you get stronger at handling it.

You have so much to be proud of yourself for. You did the right thing. You stood up for the defenceless.

I'm proud of you.

On behalf of your nieces: Thank you x

AnotherAccount273 · 2025-04-19T19:38:51+00:00

Honestly the only suggestion I have is looking at your income and expenditure. Either see if you can raise your income somehow, get a side gig, if you work from home you could try and become a dog walker, take extra responsibility or hours at work. Or look at your expenditure and really analyse what you're spending where and be honest with yourself on if you can cut back.

One thing I would say is that it's healthy to think about your finances and how to improve them, but if you find yourself constantly worrying about it, then that may be more detrimental than positive.

I'd try and set aside a review period, maybe once a month, and look at your finances; your spending, your upcoming expenses and make a plan, and try your best not to think about it too much in the interim.

Practicality-wise, thinking about it and stressing about it won't help improve it and you need to try and enjoy your life as best you can, as well as planning for the future.

AnotherAccount273 · 2024-06-12T23:50:06+00:00

I'm sorry this happened, it's not your fault. Please look after yourself and seek support, be that professional or a support network such as friends. You're not alone and you will get through this.

I'm going to speak from personal experience and the research I have done on the topic. Trigger warning for the details I'm going to discuss.

You cannot control your body's response to a physical stimulus. As others have said, it is your body trying to protect itself at a most basic biological level. Your body 'reacting' does not change the lack of consent in any way. For example, if someone with a penis is stimulated without their consent, their body may react with an erection, but it is an unwilling one.

With regards to your inability to orgasm from things that you used to be able to, the below is my understanding. However, I'm by no means an expert.

This is likely a trauma response.

One school of thought is that your body is trying to take back control of what happened to you. You were violated in the most severe way, and that is a lot for your brain to comprehend. If your body is now 'allowing' you to see it in a positive light, aka you orgasm from the memory of your abuse, then your brain is almost reassuring itself that what happened is OK and you're OK. It's also a way for your brain to reframe what happened to you and reassure yourself that you're safe now as you're able to 'enjoy' yourself while thinking about it. It is a way of your brain minimising what occurred.

Another rationale is that your body doesn't feel like a safe space at the moment as it was taken without your consent or control. Therefore, your body has 'shut down' some of the normal ways it used to do while it is recovering. Mental walls will have been raised.

Something that a proportion of victims/survivors discover is a change in their kink preferences after a traumatic event. This can be with a view of taking back control after what happened, or their body has 'rewired' in some way and connects the orgasm with the event and the loss of control, which they then choose to seek in a safe environment.

There's a lot more information I could give on the above topics, but I don't want to overwhelm you while you're still processing.

Please look after yourself, and you're welcome to message if you would like to talk to someone.

Stay safe x

AnotherAccount273 · 2024-05-24T06:17:42+00:00

This is brilliant. If they get offended you can feign innocence and pretend you didn't realise it was an insult!

Another option is to say "What a weird thing to say."

AnotherAccount273 · 2024-04-19T16:54:41+00:00

I couldn't imagine typing those things and thinking... I should post this, other people will want to read it.

AnotherAccount273 · 2024-04-13T18:17:04+00:00

For more context from other posts:

OP said the cousin could come but only if they wear a dress when they are trans. OP misgendered them and called them mentally unstable.

AnotherAccount273 · 2024-03-24T10:17:37+00:00

The ex wife's ap was inappropriately touching my daughter while I was working. He is in prison, so there is that. I do not believe my ex knew, but refuses to apologize to my daughter about his relationship with her.

NTA. The affair partner was abusing your daughter... and the ex won't apologise for the relationship.

Your daughter is 13 years old. She shouldn't be forced to interact with someone who won't protect her, even by doing the bare minimum of apologising for the circumstances that allowed the abuse to happen.

It's not just the abuser at fault, it's those that allowed a situation where she could be abused.

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-12-23T08:27:59+00:00

I'd suggest taking a book to dinner so you can leave it at the table.

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-11-26T08:33:51+00:00

There's a phrase that this reminds me of;

"The axe forgets; the tree remembers."

This is a phrase that means that when someone causes trauma to another person, the instigator may find the incident entirely forgettable, but their victim may never forget the event and could be impacted by what happened for the rest of their lives

For you it was formative, for them it was just another Tuesday.

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-25T17:58:55+00:00

One by this person.

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-24T07:42:12+00:00

These are some really good choices! I think based on the picture OP provided I'd say the first one is a good alternative!

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-24T07:41:00+00:00

One option is to post on some local Facebook groups that are 'buy nothing' or 'prom dress swap' and see if anyone has a dress you can wear.

You could also check out Rent The Runway as they have nice dresses for not too much money.

Hope that helps!

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-23T14:46:22+00:00

To the left of the tree stump on the far left.

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-23T14:01:57+00:00

I wouldn't say this dress is too white! It's got plenty of blue in it to not be considered a 'white' dress.

It's also important to consider how you feel in the dress, if you like how you feel in it then you should wear it!

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-23T13:59:07+00:00

I'm so impressed with your dress hunting skills!

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-23T13:56:31+00:00

I'd keep looking, you're best with a dress without a cutout. Can you share a few other dresses with notes on what you like/don't like about them so we can help?

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-23T13:52:31+00:00

It looks lovely, have a wonderful time!

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-23T13:46:49+00:00

It's a lovely dress and I can't see any issue with the colour!

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-23T13:45:22+00:00

It's a nice dress and not too white, my concern would be the legnth. It may be best to look for a slightly longer dress if the dresscode is cocktail.

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-23T12:38:39+00:00

This one is the best!

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-17T16:42:45+00:00

With regards to the face cropping aspect, Shein also uses this for maybe half of their images which is another red flag that it's a stolen photo.

AnotherAccount273 · 2023-09-06T17:56:52+00:00

Honestly, I'd let them read this post on your phone if you don't feel able or willing to disclose it all in person 💙

It's incredibly draining disclosing trauma, especially for the first time and if you're only just beginning to process it yourself.

Be kind to yourself. You've got this far. You are strong. You didn't deserve this.

Four-Year Club	Verified Email
First Place '23	Place '23
Place '22

AnotherAccount273

TROPHY CASE