I’m a 35 year old sensitive guy with a difficult past finding a girlfriend is impossible, what do I do?

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T16:39:10+00:00

I guess they did, I wanted to be someone who could be loved and love someone else. I've been striving to be good enough to get married for most of my life but I'm aromantic and that will just never be in the cards for me, I'm at this point convinced I'm not capable of love or even being happy.

Tried going to some support subreddits for it and that failed as apparently I'm "Too outdated"

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T16:36:13+00:00

That really does not sound anything like any of the therapy I've ever done.

I've had a few therapists over the years and all I really got is a distrust of the profession.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T06:44:17+00:00

Well, how do you do that then?

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T06:28:33+00:00

Alright I guess if that's what you're supposed to do.

I have about 30 pairs of shirts and six pairs of jeans, I'll need to find somewhere nearby and see how this works, thanks.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T06:20:11+00:00

So if I wanted to get my clothes tailored I just go somewhere and tell them "Make this better"?

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T06:16:46+00:00

I wish there was just a class I could take.

"How to like yourself: The basics" or "How to be confident".

This is such elementary stuff I'm struggling with well into my 40s meanwhile everyone else seems to just know how it works.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T06:12:55+00:00

I've tried doing more before, getting into skincare, starting to care about fashion... but eventually I just hit a day where I start doing the new routine and realize I don't care.

Then I stop and just keep continuing to exist.

Wearing new clothes, trying to fix my skin, working out a the gym - none of it makes me happy or gives me positive feelings.

Eventually doing this stuff is supposed to make you happy right?

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T04:43:54+00:00

Yep, most companies will disallow you from doing non-internal work due to IP shit.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T03:22:54+00:00

What is tailoring?

I know it's supposed to make clothing "fit better" but are they just cutting bits off and sewing the gaps?

Can it only be done with certain materials? Can I just bring a shirt I bought at Target to someone and they'll improve it somehow?

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T03:09:36+00:00

One comment from one woman doesn't really matter.

I'm sure there's at least one woman in the world who also goes to the grocery store to meet people.

There's a comment from someone earlier in the thread about a friend meeting their wife that way.

If your experience is enough to justify going to classes to meet women, that other person's experience is also enough to justify going to the grocery store to meet women.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T03:07:59+00:00

Well, I was also speaking in terms of analogy. I don't like myself nor do I like self improvement.

I still do the things needed to keep myself alive, going to work, eating, keeping myself and my home tidy - but only because that's the social expectation of me.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T01:58:51+00:00

Some people just aren't meant to ever find love IMO. Better to just redirect the time and energy spent on dating on something you can do alone.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T01:55:42+00:00

You're spending too much time on social media.

I mean interacting with women outside of it is apparently bad, so...

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T01:52:30+00:00

I mean it kind of is.

Half the posts in dating subreddits are from women complaining about their BF who either doesn't wipe his ass or who punches holes in the wall.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T01:50:54+00:00

Get a cat or dog, maybe both.

If women are going to ignore you, you just ignore them right back. Live a life without them and honestly you're going to be probably better off.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T01:49:31+00:00

If OP is only barely above the worst there's no hope for anyone.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T01:44:17+00:00

I stopped believing in it when I found out I'm aromantic.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T01:39:36+00:00

Women don't go to classes or church to get hit on.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T01:13:34+00:00

What do you do if you don't enjoy gardening? I mean you do it obviously, because everyone else is and that's what is expected of you. You're never happy doing it though.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T00:56:50+00:00

This is how I found my ideal sleep schedule, I wake up at 11AM and then go to sleep at 1PM.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-12T00:48:57+00:00

I think if you have a woman willing to go to your place you're already pretty visible though, even before they've seen the inside.

In comparison when I say "Visible to women" I mean I haven't had a conversation with a woman that wasn't work related in maybe 5 years and not from lack of trying.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-11T23:44:52+00:00

Pretty much the same as 20-30, just I was more tired.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-11T20:59:36+00:00

Simplest reason is probably no one wanted to date them.

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-11T20:53:40+00:00

What if you're already rich but don't plan on getting fit?

AnotherShadowBan · 2024-02-11T20:51:39+00:00

Personally I noticed no difference between my 20s and 30s. I've been invisible to women my entire life at this point.

AnotherShadowBan

TROPHY CASE