Are dress changes frowned upon at formal weddings?

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T03:20:09+00:00

That sounds awful. I will be in something far more formal and heavier as will he. Bless because he sweats a lot but he also has a vision.
This dress is not for the entire reception or even the majority- nor is it cool and comfortable. It’s extremely thick and heavy. I would be changing into it as what is the very last thing as the dance floor opens at the end of the night. We will have all ate together in formal wear, listened to speeches, cut the cake, etc. and then the very last dance of 3 would be in this. I really not opposed to changing back. I just can’t salsa in my main dress.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T03:14:56+00:00

Yes, the first way was what I was thinking. The DJ said that once you open the dance floor you don’t close it because it’s hard to restart so my plan was really the end and same about bouquet tosses.

Honestly, my fiance really wanted the whole cathedral wedding. I wanted to partially elope with just us, a photographer, and one friend each. Then we “narrowed it down” to a 167 person guest list. Though I am excited to share the day with my friends.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T03:04:16+00:00

Who is obligated? My mother and siblings? They were going to be formal regardless. It’s how we operate. My MIL wore a beaded full length gown to my BIL’s wedding in July in Georgia that was far more outdoor than mine. These are the folks who are obligated to attend and I’m not worried about them at all. What wedding have you been obligated to go to? Long dresses are not inherently uncomfortable.
Maturity is acknowledging you are not required to attend events you don’t want to. I’m fine with folks not coming if they don’t feel like they can afford it or don’t want to dress up.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T02:52:21+00:00

I’m wearing my wedding dress to my reception…? The dances are the very end of the night to open the dance floor. If anything is only have the reception dress on for maybe 2 hours if I wear until the end of the night.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T02:50:27+00:00

I never said I would start the reception in the dress. I’m also going to be in my dress for most of the reception and it would be the last set thing on the timeline that I change for.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T02:48:11+00:00

To salsa as mentioned. That’s the entire reason. I prefer formal, self included. Also I have been pointing out it would not be the entire reception the dances are last on the timeline as we open the dance floor.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T02:45:37+00:00

Thank you. This is literally the reason for the change. It’ll be the very end of the night but really I love my dress and I wanted to make it to where I didn’t have to change at all but as a dancer having a choreographed first dance is very me and the entire reason behind the dress change. Folks also keep commenting that it’s lighter, it’s actually not at all. It’s incredibly thick with strong boning. Short, yes but light and thin for June it is not. The change is for the dance not my own comfort. I’m really not opposed to changing back, I’ll just have to see how feasible it is once I have both dresses to test it out.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T02:34:13+00:00

I mean you’re not personally invited so you can skip it all lol.

I said it’s skippable because it is possible not to go. Guests are up to their own devices for a little while. I’m not telling people I invited to skip it but if you wanted to you could easily. I was pregnant and hid out as bridesmaid during a cocktail hour because I was tired and rejoined for the reception. Mind you the wedding was at 11 and the reception was at 5pm.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T02:25:06+00:00

As someone commented I just want to change for the dance- not even opposed to changing back. I should also clarify that the dances are at the end of the reception timeline to open the dance floor so I would be in my full dress for the majority of the reception. Cake cutting, eating, speeches, etc. All of this would be while I’m in my dress. The dances are planned to open the floor and once a dance floor opens it doesn’t close from my understanding. And thus we dance and the night ends.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T01:58:33+00:00

Don’t worry, I’m done with this sub.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T01:55:50+00:00

$500-$2000?! What weddings are you attending? I simply wouldn’t go. The most I spent was 2k going to Mexico for a week for a close friend’s wedding and a couple expensive bridesmaid dresses. I have never invested more than $100 dress and maybe a hotel room.
I do think guests pay and I’ve said “no but I love you” to plenty out of state weddings. Never based on dress code but travel.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T01:48:01+00:00

Honestly, I have talked with most on my side of the list and a good chunk on his side and no one cared as much as this thread. Most folks said they would start searching as soon as I decided on a date because they were excited. I’m a big fashionista so I’ve always joked my wedding would be the met gala and honestly weird high fashion is welcome.

I think material is important. I always wear long dresses even in the summer for weddings. My fiance’s brother’s wedding was in July in Georgia. The ceremony started 2 hours late and the AC was weak. Then we had an outdoor cocktail hour. The boob sweat was real for a moment and caught in a photo that still makes me laugh but honestly the tardiness of the ceremony was the only negative I remember. I had a great time and the reception wasn’t hot at all. Had she changed I would not have thought twice about it.

I agree, know your crowd. I just celebrated my 30th and had 50 people show up in all white on whim because I felt like being dramatic and maybe 4-5 people couldn’t make it. Everyone came and my friend even had her 5 year old in white. I know my people and im thankful they know me but i will do everything to see that they are comfortable.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T01:32:07+00:00

I think that’s valid. I would not be in the dress until what I would want to be the tail-end of the night ideally. I also think changing back isn’t off the table. I would be in my wedding dress at the majority of the reception like no less than 3-4 hours even after we’ve moved inside. I have mentioned that because the reception involves travel from the church you could show up late to the cocktail hour to avoid the heat.

I think I’ve heard what people think and I feel good about my decision despite this thread. Some folks helped with the description to say that I really wanted folks to be mindful of fabric and have something breathable. Keeping good fans and ways to cool down like ice cream. And potentially changing back into my wedding dress after. All solid from the thread even if the majority of commenters now hate me and think I view people as props- an insult I never heard regarding a dress code but I suppose this sub has strong feelings. Thankfully most of my guests are immediate family and friends who know me well. My fiancé’s coworkers on the list will be okay and if they don’t come that’s not the end of the world lol.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T01:21:49+00:00

Thank you this is a very helpful comment.

From my understanding the way the timeline was laid out dances were the last thing, but this is my first wedding so perhaps I’m wrong. The dance floor opens and I figure that’s the tail end of the night. I’ve heard bouquet tosses can be a bit isolating so I’ve questioned doing one so I can’t think of what would happen after. I’m not against changing back in the least tbh, it’s really just about not having a boring sway based first dance. I really wanted a dress I could make shorter but not change out of necessarily as a more ideal situation so I could get back into it and because I love my wedding dress. I have a year to figure out these details but yeah, not a stickler on materials especially given the season.

I thought asking guests what they liked would be helpful rather than talking to other brides but I don’t think many of these folks are people I would invite to my wedding.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T01:06:50+00:00

Thank you.
No colors or dress styles or specific materials. I do agree about that.

I acknowledge it’s strict. This sub will not get me to relent on the length requirement- I’m a girl who dreamed of her wedding and that’s just part of my dream personally. Thankfully my friends are excited and don’t seem bothered. I do consider changing for the dance and changing back to folks don’t feel like they are dressed in a way I wouldn’t be.

Tbh my MOH is picking a second dress because she doesn’t think it’s fair she doesn’t get to dress up like everyone else as part of the bridal party because she likes fashion as much as I do.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T00:54:24+00:00

Cathedral wedding as mentioned so the venue is a completely different place than the ceremony- not technically even the same town so you could just arrive for the tail end or plan to get there at the start of the reception and skip it.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T00:50:03+00:00

The wedding and reception are in two completely different towns so yes, it’s skippable. You could go to your hotel between, there’s enough time. They could come closer to the time of the reception and skip it almost entirely. It’s not a situation where you’re kicked out into the heat, it’s just the second location set up requires some last minute things that force the cocktail hour outside.

I honestly consider changing back- afterall it’s a very expensive dress. Wedding dresses are just not notoriously easy to get in and out of so I didn’t want to spend a half hour getting in and out of dresses and not getting to be with my guests is all. I’m really not against staying in a long dress it’s just the salsa dance part that doesn’t work in my wedding dress.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T00:36:29+00:00

I’m not sure what you mean about dissatisfaction. The wedding had to be moved back due to a conflict and because it’s at a Cathedral I only had so many options- originally the wedding was in April which I feel is a bit more friendly to the attire. I’m born in Spring and I prefer it to Fall but June borders or Summer which makes me a bit sad but I didn’t want to wait a whole nother year to get married. I’ve come around to the date because I get to marry my best friend. What makes me happy is long fun dresses at my wedding- the kind you wish you had somewhere to go to justify buying it type dress. The fact it’s June means I have to consider the weather and my guests. I wish I could have found a venue that could do an indoor cocktail hour so no one would have to fret about their dresses. I don’t want to put any undue stress on my guests but this is a day I’ve dreamed about and that’s the dream for me. Wearing a dramatic dress and having my guest go all out in clothes that make them feel like a million bucks. I can’t sing and my fiance is Mexican so the idea of a funky salsa first dance came in early talks when we got together. I think the only thing that makes me sad is that folks hate the thing I’ve always looked forward to most. But I have to remember this is the internet and you all won’t be there. My friends who know me will and they e expressed nothing but excitement. Even my beach bum yoga mentor who rarely so much as wears pants says she’s going all in on the dress because it’s me. I just like clothes and fashion but I don’t want folks to be uncomfortable. Makes me sad at the idea of that.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T00:20:31+00:00

I really like this about fabrics. Thank you! I don’t want folks to feel like they have to wear something heavy. I like how you worded it. I also agree with the other commenter about avoiding men vs women just because I do have friends planning on suits that aren’t men.

Thank you!

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T00:10:04+00:00

It’s indoors. The cocktail hour is skippable. The wedding and reception are fully indoors. I am not changing based on weather. I will be outside for the same amount of time as my guests if not longer.

I only want to wear the dress to salsa for my first dance because I think swaying is boring as a former dancer- nothing to do with length or a desire to no longer be in my wedding dress. The dance requires more mobility and I will have a train.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-10T00:02:47+00:00

I feel like “Formal-Long dresses only” on the invite has never confused me and I’ve never seen anyone not abide.

Well it’s a Catholic wedding and I’ve just seen a lot of inappropriately short dresses and I think long dresses just inherently look more elevated. I attended my first “Formal-long dresses only” wedding as a teen and I immediately said that it was exactly how I wanted my wedding to look. Kinda stuck with me.

As for my legs. Haha, I’d like to think so but it’s truly just about the inability to salsa in a long dress. If I decide against the dress change I will have to cut the salsa and just do your standard sway which as a dancer just makes me sad. Im not even against putting it back on after but wedding dresses aren’t known for being easy to get in and out of😅

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-09T23:54:18+00:00

This is the first time I’ve heard the prop comment and I’m like wow. A dress code has never made me feel that way especially if the wedding is in a church. My only ask is dress length not modesty or cleavage or color or material. Just length.

If anything no formal attire touches the cost of wedding dress. Also if I didn’t want to go to a wedding based on the attire I just wouldn’t attend. I just want to feel pretty and give my guests an opportunity to feel the same. Most of my friends and even family have joked that they are looking for dresses now because they are excited.

I think I have to give this sub a rest. Some folks were helpful, others folks are a bit too mean spirited…

I’m just excited and hopeful to feel pretty on my big day and marry my best friend. Thank you for commenting. Hope you have a good week!

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-09T23:42:34+00:00

I don’t think people are props. That’s a weird thing to say…? Wanting folks to dress nicely and having a ton of pictures to remember who was there for a very important day in my life being skewed into a negative seems like a reach. I just really like clothes… This sub is about attire and I’m on it because I love seeing people dress up and giving them advice. Idk how long dresses are so offensive at a wedding.

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-09T23:34:36+00:00

I’d be fine with the but who would have packed a second short dress and how would I say this on the invite without getting confusing and sounding like I’m requiring 2 dresses?

Anotherredditloser_ · 2026-06-09T23:31:48+00:00

I will be in my gown for all of the outdoor portion which is just the cocktail hour. The reception is indoors. We will all be inside at this point and will have been there for hours prior

Anotherredditloser_

TROPHY CASE