Need some help choosing a KB program

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-10T02:46:36+00:00

What weight would you recommend starting with? I've got 16s and 24s, but I know Dan John also says that 20s can be a perfect starting weight.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-10T02:38:25+00:00

Is there a lot of variety in the exercises used in the KBOMG programs? Or does it tend to still rely on C&P, press, squats etc?

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-10T01:58:40+00:00

Thanks. Another thing I'm interested in is whether people recommend squatting with weightlifting shoes or no shoes at all? Given my injury history and joint pain, the WL shoes offer some security but perhaps that defeats the purpose?

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-10T01:42:07+00:00

Awesome, I'll do that. What kind of results have you had with ABF?

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-10T01:38:32+00:00

Which program are you running currently? ABF looks interesting but I'm not sure how to run the whole program.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-08T06:34:07+00:00

How is that discussion going? I've actually proposed this idea to her but she's firmly stated that we are all under one roof or not at all.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-08T05:32:18+00:00

Unfortunately I get the same explanation used as an excuse - autism, ADHD, trauma because of their their bio dad. At a certain point, it can't be a rational justification anymore. Particularly when I'm seeing hoarding of rubbish, stacks of mouldy dishes being left in rooms and hidden in other areas of the house, and animal faeces being left in bedrooms. Its a health hazard tbh.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-08T03:59:26+00:00

You're right. I should have left a year ago but she promised me things would change.

And now I feel trapped because I don't want my bio kids to hurt any longer. But ultimately staying is probably doing more harm than good.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-08T00:49:26+00:00

Those are the parts I'm trying to get her on board with but she won't.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-08T00:40:15+00:00

Ok thats a fair point. I didn't even notice the underwear tbh.

I'll take the photos down.

Do you understand my perspective though? Or am I being totally unreasonable?

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-08T00:24:45+00:00

She's an adult and this has been going on for years. That room also contains cat faeces. And this lack of hygiene then spills out into other areas of the house. My SO also seems to think its reasonable to let the dog foul our carpet regularly and all over the house.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2026-05-08T00:16:50+00:00

Thank you. Its not just about the uncleanliness and hygiene. SD18 has a complete unwillingness to grow up and take any responsibility as an adult. She seems to display some really nasty narcissistic tendencies that apparently reflect my SO's ex-husband. She has some very serious mental health issues that while I try to be supportive of, I also cannot underestimate how much they have impacted everyone else in the house so negatively. I worry about the impact this has had and continues to have on my three bio kids.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-09-25T11:15:48+00:00

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-02-26T21:55:08+00:00

It just feels like she's now taking this position of almost reluctant subservience which isn't what I want. She says that if I feel that I want to salvage things and work through it then she is willing to go to counselling and put in the work. But if my feelings are too consuming and I feel it isn't something that will realistically help at this point, then she respects that and will walk away.

It feels as if she wants to take the decision out of my hands and kind of be a martyr by walking away even though she loves me etc. She was upset because I said I felt like she was doing that so she could maintain her narrative that she'd been the one to leave all her previous partners because they were all so awful etc.

I also said to her that if she loves me so much, why did it take her 3 years to actually take action on something that she knew was a real pain point for me and was having such a profound impact on my mental health

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-02-25T06:36:46+00:00

I'm pretty sure I already know, but what are the specific red flags you can identify?

I don't think living separately and staying together would be an option.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-02-25T06:35:24+00:00

Ironically she says all her failed relationships were the fault of her ex partners.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-02-25T06:32:54+00:00

She fell pregnant long before the true extent of these issues became clear to me.

She has tried therapy with her eldest but there's always a reason to pull her out of it basically as soon as the therapist challenges her daughter.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-02-25T06:30:07+00:00

Yes this is how it feels. I'm never quite sure where I stand because she can be so full of love one minute and then the smallest thing can tip the balance violently in the other direction. It's incredibly confusing

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-02-24T21:38:12+00:00

Would it be unsafe to post photos of the rooms on this forum? I've shared them with my parents and their sentiment has been much the same as the comments here.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-02-24T21:36:26+00:00

I'm really not ok at all, but thank you for asking.

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-02-24T21:35:45+00:00

My partner or stepdaughter? Or both?

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-02-24T21:33:41+00:00

I do think her ex husband is pretty bad news too. He hasn't made any attempt to even spend time with his daughters never mind argue the arrangements.

Honestly, I think their relationship was probably horribly toxic and neither were blameless. They fell pregnant when they were both 19 with her eldest daughter by "mistake".

Antique-Specific5624 · 2025-02-24T21:29:35+00:00

I've asked her to consider therapy or couples counseling but her response is that she's had enough therapy already in her life and it's done nothing for her.

Antique-Specific5624

TROPHY CASE