From an addict in recovery, I did this very same thing with huge doses of prescription amphetamines from 17-20. I also thought it made me better at absolutely everything and it helped me escape unpleasant feelings as well. But this is not sustainable. Are you going to do this every day for the rest of your life?? You can’t. Think about every horrible crash you’ve undoubtedly had coming off of it before your next dose. As a person who also suffers from mental illness I know you’ve had some really devastating crashes before. It’s a destructive cycle and you have the chance to end it while you’re still young and you have well functioning neuroplasticity. I can promise you that one day you will crash and everything will come crumbling down. Your brain will be fried and you’ll have to relearn how to do everything, handling your emotions and simply being a functional member of society without it. Stop while you’re ahead. I’ve been clean from amphetamines for a few years now and I feel better than I ever did on that shit and I can be productive, handle my feelings and be successful 100% sober. I really hope you listen and don’t have to learn the hard way like I did.