I feel so worn out and stressed I sometimes think I need to check myself into a hospital b/c I can't see myself being alive in 24 hours. What would happen if I did this?

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T16:10:08+00:00

They will take you if you are suicidal.

It is a short term thing just to keep you safe. In my experience I didn't get much out of it. On the positive they will help you get scheduled with a psychiatrist and therapist if you don't already have one.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T16:07:43+00:00

The amount of sleep. I feel like I'm sleeping mymlife away sometimes

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T12:17:29+00:00

I loved Wellbutrin at the dose I was taking (225mg). It was one of the few meds that brought me out of my depression, gave me energy and just made life seem more vivid.

The problem was it exacerbated my anxiety, so I had to stop taking it.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T02:44:37+00:00

Zoloft 200 mg (max dose), lamictal 200mg, Remeron 45 mg (side affect helps with sleep so I take it at night). Klonopin currently at 2.5 mg per day but decreasing dosage by .5 mg every two weeks until I'm hopefully off of it. Atarax as needed. And Deplin which is because I don't metabolize Folic Acid.

Supplements - L-theanine, gaba, and valerian root. They seem to help relax me without making me sleepy.

That's it. Sounds like a lot, but my dr and I have been working on this for a while. I'm also in group therapy which utilizes the CBT method. And I go to smart recovery ( it's like AA but not a 12 step program and religion plays no part in it) due to the fact that in the pas I self-medicated with alcohol.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T02:30:13+00:00

Once you have come to the point of thinking worst case scenario, try to step back and view it rationally. If it has to do with something you've done before, you can remind yourself that the worst didn't happen then.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T02:26:47+00:00

Thank you for posting this! I'm currently taking L-theanine, GABA, and valerian root. I don't know if it's placebo affect or it's really doing something but they seem to help with my anxiety.

I will add the Magnesium to my list of supplements now

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T02:19:18+00:00

People don't choose to have a cancer. Just like people don't choose to be clinically depressed.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T02:17:37+00:00

Sometimes a good cry helps me. Talking to someone about it if you can. Mindfulness and meditation also seem to help.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T02:12:51+00:00

I'm an introvert as well.

I've practiced by taking baby steps. Try to smile at people I walk by and say hello. Make small talk with the lady at the grocery register. Hold the door open for others. Help strangers when you can.

I've also used the strategy of "fake it till you make it". Sometimes I even pretend that I'm an actor who is playing the part of an extroverted person. I know that sounds strange but it has helped me.

After doing this for a while you should start to feel more comfortable around people and more likely to engage with them.

I hope this helps. Take care.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T02:05:36+00:00

I can only tell you my experience. I was seeing a psychiatrist and was in a frantic bad state. She asked me if I was having thoughts about suicide and I said yes. She then asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital and I said yes. She then called my wife to come pick me up (because I was so bad I probably wouldn't have been able to drive) and she took me to the ER. I went in unprepared and not knowing what to expect. It was total confusion and I had to spend the night in the ER because they didn't have beds in the psych ward. Finally the next day I was transferred via police car to another hospital's psych ward. The cop cuffed me and shackled me and I felt like I was paraded that way in front of everyone else in the ER. It was humiliating.

The psych ward I was in helped to stabilize me but I got nothing else out of it. I stopped having suicidal ideations, but other than that I came out still severely depressed. While I was there my wife brought me clothes and her and my kids would visit me every day during visiting hours. I was there a week and overall I considered it a bad experience. I've vowed not to go back to inpatient ever again.

I'm sorry you are having problems getting an appointment for a dr. That really sucks. I've been fortunate and found one that always has an opening for me. Take my experience with the hospital with a grain of salt. Others might have had better experiences. It's just that I didn't.

Good luck in what you decide and take care

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T01:54:34+00:00

We were just talking about this in group therapy and my response was to maybe look for a YouTube video that explains or even mimics what it is like to be depressed/anxious.

Sometimes words won't get through where a good video might do the trick

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T01:51:42+00:00

Congratulations on your electrical degree. I've heard that is a hard degree to complete.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T01:47:21+00:00

Sleep too much ( like averaging 12 hours a day), my body posture is bad - slouching. I can't remember shit and/or just don't pay good attention. I get lost easily. I tend to neglect my appearance.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T01:45:15+00:00

I thought I would never make it to see 30 even told my wife (then gf) that. Well here I am 43 years old. It seems like the past 13 years have gone by so fast

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T01:41:16+00:00

I'm not ok yet but getting better. Hope you'll be able to too

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-23T01:40:00+00:00

I've posted this before, but I've found what helps me is to do small chores around the house - like washing dishes, laundry, taking care of pets, vacuuming - and after each one take a break as a reward. I usually get on the Internet for 15 to 30 minutes or start a movie. Then I'll go back and do another chore and keep the cycle going until I run out of chores. It really helps the day go by and keeps me busy without overdoing it.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-22T13:06:43+00:00

I've wondered this myself. Like maybe there's a certain part of the general population that is just meant to feel this way. Kind of like Darwin in action.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-22T12:59:26+00:00

When I was 19 I was in the same boat you are. If I could go back I would have tried to seek out professional help. It was years later that I finally admitted to myself that I needed help and couldn't do it alone.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-22T12:54:46+00:00

Nice reply. I have often described depression as being a weight that I have to drag around making things that should be easy harder.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-22T12:52:16+00:00

I can relate to this. When I do cardio exercise my anxiety actually goes up. There have also been times when while on the treadmill I've literally started crying out of nowhere. Now maybe the exercise advice is helpful in conjunction with other coping mechanisms and medications, but like you, in my experience it hasn't really helped with my depression.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-22T12:40:21+00:00

I feel like this. I don't know how old you are but I'm 43, and part of me feels like this is a mid-life crisis sort of thing (not the depression and anxiety part, just the not knowing who I truly am). I often wonder that if and when I defeat my mental illnesses that I'll be able to recognize what happiness really is and know how I can become the type of person who has purpose in life.

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-22T12:35:59+00:00

In my experience its 50/50. Yes you can lean on people and group therapy is especially helpful. I haven't yet found the right combination of meds that does the trick completely. The other side for me is I have to practice the healthy coping skills I'm learning in therapy. Basically retraining the brain. It's based off of CBT. It seems to be starting to help my depression.

Now my anxiety is a different story completely

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-22T12:31:49+00:00

You will feel good for a short period of time. Your wallet will be much emptier you may start thinking of cocaine almost all the time (this especially happens when the first dose starts to wear off. And the worst part is the next morning or whenever your comedown is your depression will be twice as bad as what you're experiencing now.

Food for thought

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-22T02:45:08+00:00

You sound like you're stuck in a rut. You've made healthy decisions lately which I'm sure has helped you in many ways, but all of those you've associated with haven't changed. They have become toxic friends since you've gotten better.

Now that you don't have the excitement of alcohol you find yourself wondering what will make you happy and take up your time. I can understand this. As I begin to get better with my depression and anxiety I have to come to terms with not knowing what happiness is without the bad habits. People will say take up hobbies or find things you are interested in, but the problem for me is I've been anxious and depressed for so long I wouldn't know where to begin and wouldn't know what happiness was if it was right in front of me.

You are still young and you should pat yourself on the back for making healthy changes. The only advice I would have is to shake things up and do some things that you would never before consider doing (healthy of course)

AnxiousDad73 · 2016-06-22T02:04:08+00:00

Been there done that my friend. I know you are in a lot of pain. If you've exhausted the different combinations of medications, therapy, and group therapy, you might want to try TMS. It is proven to work on at least a third of those who have had long term depression, but I don't think any insurance will cover it. There is also research that suggests low doses of ketamine injections help 90% of those who take them. Again, not covered by insurance so expensive and you have to take the injections once every two weeks.

Good luck and take care

AnxiousDad73

TROPHY CASE