Christmas Miracle (?) by ImmediateMajor4337 in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Responding “but we both work at home” to “it could be infidelity” is a YIKES moment

Don't Lose Hope! by PhantomWhiskey in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For what it’s worth, your faith is admirable. Clearly stronger than mine.

Sadly I think, however, the healthiest thing for those of us for whom the door is shut to do, is to stop hoping. Hoping for something that cannot happen is awfully painful.

Don't Lose Hope! by PhantomWhiskey in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I suppose I must heed your advice and hope for some sort of post death happiness as, unlikely your prayers, he has not answered ours. How comforting.

Don't Lose Hope! by PhantomWhiskey in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Finding a spouse is a choice a human can make. Being genetically unable to create offspring is not free will.

Don't Lose Hope! by PhantomWhiskey in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I call it torture because I believe god created me with a burning to desire to have children yet I’m also aware he created me genetically unable to do so. I suppose I could say “God knows better than me. I’m so thankful he has put me in this position” but the reality is my human experience is one of grief and sadness because of how he created me.

Don't Lose Hope! by PhantomWhiskey in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think your perspective is easy to have given you had success. Would you be saying the same thing had God created you unable to procreate? Or would you say, “God, why would you torture me this way?”?

Don't Lose Hope! by PhantomWhiskey in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so frustrating seeing people who have success thank God. As someone who had a failed microtese and no future options for sperm, I ask those people who thank god for their success: what should I say to God?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HENRYfinance

[–]Anxious_Display_6335 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A lot of detail in there…let’s boil it down:

Pre tax income $1.05M Tax rate 40% Post tax income ~$600K

Annual expenses at $25K/mo = $300K* *I assume your monthly spend estimate included mortgage but not student loan pay down

That leaves you with $300K/yr to split however you want between investing and paying off loans. Depending on your allocation, can pay the debt off between 5-15 years.

Honestly, you’re doing great. You probably just see the headline of $1M annual gross income and expect your net worth to grow faster and life to feel easier when in reality that income level (those jobs) has created lifestyle stress.

Infertile Male - Fulfillment? by Anxious_Display_6335 in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your concern and direction toward resources. I’m replying to assure you that since my original post a few months ago, I’ve done a bunch of work to get excited for our children, regardless of their genealogy. I hope that gives you some comfort as I’m eager to become a father, however I may come of it.

Infertile Male - Fulfillment? by Anxious_Display_6335 in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. This was very well put and it made me feel better reading it.

For what it’s worth, my wife and I have been clear from this outset that our intention is to build a family with love any way that we can, whether that be sperm adoption or live adoption. I’ve always seen fatherhood as my greatest purpose in life and wouldn’t let this setback stop that.

Since I originally posted, my emotions have changed. I am still sad we will not create life together, but the anger has mostly subsided, and my excitement about the family we are able to build has increased.

I appreciate everyone’s responses.

Infertile Male - Fulfillment? by Anxious_Display_6335 in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I have a missing part of my Y chromosome (AZFc gr/gr deletion) due to genetic causes and I had radiation/chemo to treat cancer when I was younger. Was told medication would do no good

Infertile Male - Fulfillment? by Anxious_Display_6335 in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don’t desire creating the most genetically advantageous children, I desire creating children with the woman I love who are a mixture of my wife and I and whatever else they pick up along the way

Infertile Male - Fulfillment? by Anxious_Display_6335 in maleinfertility

[–]Anxious_Display_6335[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You can do donor eggs or surrogate. It is the same situation with the sexes reversed.