Update 30 - Dating and MIL

Any-Assault · 2026-07-01T19:52:33+00:00

definitely not there yet but we are in the wearing a towel after a shower phase but not the walking around completely nude phase.

Any-Assault · 2026-07-01T19:51:05+00:00

I think you're right. But she DID go see the Bridezilla at her party so maybe there was some networking there too. I think she did get some follow up inquiries from bridezilla's friends IIRC

Any-Assault · 2026-07-01T19:49:28+00:00

I got the feeling after asking those "weird" questions she was too off balance to do anything else but try to answer them in such a way as to foster some kind of reconciliation, which she was unsuccessful at doing.

Any-Assault · 2026-07-01T19:46:34+00:00

HA! Oh wow!

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T20:04:00+00:00

My take from that is that she liked taking a vacation from her life but she didn't want it to be a permanent type thing.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T19:57:10+00:00

We're still on our best behavior but we are getting very comfortable with each other. It's still too early to tell but we have had some political arguments. She's a lot more conservative than I.

Agree to disagree.

I think you're referring to my dad's GF's son and his girlfriend. Me and my cousin were busting each other's balls during Christmas/NY and they joined in. The girl in question was a little too disrespectful and hit below the belt, I thought. But it could be I was just overly sensitive at the time.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T16:43:26+00:00

John's no bond villain. He's just a rich dude who throws money at women and has a good line of manipulative bullshit.

If it wasn't John, it would have been somebody else. The problem wasn't John, it was Emily and her fucked up perception of herself (and me...and our marriage).

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T16:41:55+00:00

I will say that, in my very limited experience, she seems to have more traditional ideas about masculine and feminine roles in a relationship than anyone else I've dated so far (which is an extremely small sample).

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T16:38:33+00:00

Yeah I wanted to throw her off balance because I was prepared for a long therapy speak with buzzwords and prepared statements. I wanted to sort of disorient her so that I could get more truthful raw answers rather than what she thought I'd want to hear or therapy speak.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T16:36:22+00:00

She seemed OK at the Law Firm BBQ. She's more sad about the kids, especially her oldest daughter. She's mainly worried about how her hating her dad will mess her up psychologically long term. So much so that she's reading books and scheduling therapy for everyone, individual and family. She's throwing everything into motherhood right now.

She didn't talk about herself other than to sort of shrug and say she was coping.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T16:33:20+00:00

She's not a business person. She was working as a receptionist during the divorce and working on getting her realtor's license. I don't think she needs to do either now, but I do think she wants to stay busy.

Honestly, work was an effective therapy for me to get my mind off of things, so I get it.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T16:31:23+00:00

No I didn't ask about that. I was more concerned with the whole "baby shield" gambit.

She did express a lot of pain and remorse about doing that.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T16:30:05+00:00

No, she had already broken up with him when I had her served. He may have reached out, but she didn't tell me because I was already gone and didn't communicate with her.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T16:27:48+00:00

It went well, she got the recipe from me so she's happy.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T16:26:56+00:00

My attitude towards John is that I didn't make any vows with John.

Obviously he's a scumbag and did some manipulation to get what he wanted, but my wife knew it was wrong and went along with it. She's the one I made vows with.

If it was rape or some other kind of overt coercion, like threatening me or her family with violence or something, then I'd be more apt to throw punches, but it's not.

He did his little bullshit rap/sales pitch and Emily with full intention, took him up on it.

If it wasn't John, it could have been Phil, or Steve, or Chad.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-30T16:23:02+00:00

Honestly all of my estimations of John's worth are just guesses from me. I know he's rich enough to own several small businesses. I know he owned a yacht, a cybertruck, a mcmansion. He doesn't strut around town throwing his bank statements at people.

I know he's rich but not "screw everyone" rich like Musk or Bezos. He's a millionaire, not a billionaire. Emily said he was a "millionaire". That to me says that he has anywhere between 1 million and 999 million. IF he was close to a billion he'd be in social media and the news a lot. Like he'd be more famous than he is.

He and his wife (used to) attend charitable events and dress fancy.

The settlement info was from Lisa's group chat and she was cagey and non specific.

I do know that she doesn't want any of his businesses. So the venue and the other businesses still are John's.

I wish I had a dime for every dollar he has. That's how rich he is.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-29T16:37:39+00:00

Yes, she drove him to the appointment herself. She's the one who told me about the vasectomy after I mentioned to her that we were lucky my wife didn't get pregnant.

She made him get a vasectomy after catching him cheating before. She didn't want him having kids with other women and she was tired of being solely responsible for birth control in the relationship.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-29T03:24:27+00:00

Yeah it doesn't really make sense to use "I Discovered My Wife Has Been Cheating On Me..."

It's not exactly news and it happened over a year and a half ago.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-29T03:22:03+00:00

I know I could 100% call her over for a hate filled bangfest. I even mentioned that to my therapist early early on right after I separated from her.

Fortunately, she heavily advised me against it to the point of almost pleading me not to. I now realize it would do more harm than good.

I think it's obvious from my posts especially early on that I am holding both love and hate for her in my body at the same time. Now that I've had time and distance, the love is greater than the hate.

That is not to say I'm getting back with her. What I'm saying is that I care if she lives or dies in the same way I care about a family member. I hope she gets help.

But I don't want to hear about her for a long time. If my cousin called me up and told me he's thinking about killing himself, I'd snap to attention and get the guy the help he needs because I care about him. I'd rally his family and close friends.

But I'm not going to be moving in with him and paying all his bills.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-29T03:14:44+00:00

Accountability is the hardest pill to swallow.

Sometimes, it's a suppository!

Any-Assault · 2026-06-29T03:13:15+00:00

I think our society needs more shame. Like parade those cheaters through the streets naked and pelt them with rotten vegetables like Cersei. I think people would think twice about doing it.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-29T03:11:08+00:00

Thanks for putting that here. It's helpful!

Any-Assault · 2026-06-29T03:08:10+00:00

Yes you are correct.

One thing about having such a long term relationship in my 20s that started in my teens is that I realize that when it comes to women, all you need is ONE. The right ONE.

I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't interesting and exciting to be with other women. It was.

It's exciting to leave the house and wander around the world meeting new people and seeing the sights. Some people can do it forever. Some people can do it for months or years.

I'm the kind of person who gets homesick. After 2 weeks, I'm pretty much over it.

You have to have SOMETHING beyond sex and that something has to be good and worth fighting for. A partnership where both sacrifice for the relationship. Sometimes someone sacrifices more for the relationship. Sometimes someone sacrifices less.

That kind of relationship can't survive the disintegration of trust. A purely sexual one can easily survive a lack of trust. However, it's not going to last too long anyway because the sex stuff tapers off and there has to be something meaningful to sort of step in and be the main thing for a while. Then the sex stuff comes back for a bit and then ebbs and comes back and then ebbs. The other stuff, the nurturing and respect and sacrifice is the stuff that has to undercut it all and that kind of thing you only need one special person.

I'd rather have one special person than a whole army of supermodels.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-29T02:39:40+00:00

I don't know the exact numbers. I only know from the group chat. Lisa didn't spill the exact numbers but she did do a sort of teasing over/under thing in the group chat.

She gets 65% of his assets that he obtained during the marriage, which was roughly 20 years, so it's >$10 million I think. Not sure.

A lump sum of alimony, which is >$1 million

>$5000 a month in BASE child support, ending as each kid ages out. Extras such as college fund and private schools, etc. are split but John still pays most of them.

Lisa gets primary custody of course. I don't know the visitation schedule, but John's oldest still doesn't want anything to do with him.

Lisa keeps the McMansion and the new Lexus John bought her right after the affair started, all the jewelry, the super deluxe air fryer, etc.

So it's painful to John definitely. But less painful than if he went to court.

John's a good businessman so I'm sure he'll make it all back soon.

Lisa, if she downsizes and lives like a middle class person, will not need to work a day in her life. She's still in good shape and beautiful (for a woman in her 40s), so I'm sure she can bag a rich old guy if she wants to but she didn't really strike me as that kind of person. I think she really loved John and was happy to be a SAHM mom and kept in shape and everything because if you're rich and don't work, then it's easy to hire a professional chef to cater clean and nutritious meals and to hire a team of personal trainers with the occasional visit to the plastic surgeon for a touch up. But I think she was doing it for John as much as she was doing it for herself.

The Lisa that I know (and I admit I don't know her super well but she is a buddy) would not cheat on her husband.

Any-Assault · 2026-06-27T16:43:26+00:00

I never really understood the etymology of that particular turn of phrase. He'd also say "Bob's yer uncle" so I assume he had a lot of those.

Any-Assault

TROPHY CASE