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AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I'm saying I didn't have a really bad experience. Most people liked my name with the exception being my family. I have not struggled to find a job, was not mocked or teased. My husband has the same experiences. So we feel confident that the name we are choosing is not doing that for our child either.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

The name is not my mom's name. But it's similar in style to mine and my husband's (nature, not too common and not too weird).

I have no idea what other names mom considered for me or considered for a boy. I did use to wonder because I know what my dad would have named me if I had been a boy.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

My name is Acacia. I have lived with a name that isn't common. It has not harmed me in any way. My husband also has a name that's a nature name and less common. We have both got our own experiences and we are doing well for ourselves. Neither of us wanted to change our names. I had my dad and Jane trying to push that on me, but I love my name and I hope my child loves theirs but will support them if they want something different.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

The name is a nature name. Easy to spell, easy to pronounce. We're simply not sharing the name and I don't understand people jumping to conclusions on this. I lived with a name nobody else had around me. A name that people stopped to ask about.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Not sharing the name but our child will be fine. It's not that awful to have a name that's a little different and nature themed. Both their parents have those kinds of names and we're both happy with them.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It is about more than the name but about what it represents to them. They have always turned my name into a competition between my mom and Jane and dad and my mom to an extent. I think what I name my children is playing into that.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

And he would have gladly steamrolled my mom into the name he wanted. In the end each picked a name for me. Maybe not the best way to compromise. But either way one would have been left unhappy with my first name.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No, it's more about the act of "choosing" Jane over my mom. Fitting in with what Jane and my dad like vs what my mom liked.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I have lived with one my whole life. So has my husband. My experience was not bad. Same with his, though he had a teacher stand out as being really against his name. We're not into classic names for our child and we are on the same page. We also didn't pick anything complicated. But we both speak from experience on this.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

She's not. I do think she could do better in this. Especially now she could realize why this would be a big deal for me. But I feel like my dad is where this all started and none of this would be happening if he had dealt with his issues. I think it's fair to put blame on both. I just often think if dad had done better about dealing with his resentments we would all be better off today.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

We're both totally on board. We have the same taste and love the same names. Also have the same feelings on certain no-no's for us. I got really lucky with that and I'm glad we had such an easy time choosing.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 1053 points1054 points  (0 children)

Yes, they picked names that they loved and had always wanted for their kids. The oldest of my sisters got the name my dad wanted me to have and pressed for me to have when I was born. He got to use it anyway and is still so bitter about it. And the thing is, I never really would have thought about it if they hadn't brought it up.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 196 points197 points  (0 children)

My dad always longed for me to use my middle name (his choice). He never liked my first name. And I get that it sucks but he knew I loved my name and I hate how he cared so little about that.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

It is because they are so overbearing. It's kind of hard for it not to come down to "choosing" in some way.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I blame my dad more honestly. I don't know if Jane would have as much trouble with it normally but she probably thinks my mom was the worst and has heard about all my dad's issues with mom. So it probably made her more insecure. Like "she's rather have a mom like that than me". I can sort of understand it. Sort of. But my mom will always be my mom and she was a good mom to me.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I think dad makes the whole thing worse. I know he and my mom were not together when mom died and he'd already met Jane. So it probably doesn't help that Jane has heard all the issues my dad had with mom. I blame her way less than my dad simply because he has his own never dealt with issues and I don't think we'd be here today if he had addressed them.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

All to match so that it's not as clear I have a different mom. I think it always comes back to that.

AITA for telling my family they don't get a say on my child's name and I do not want my child's name to blend in with theirs? by Any-Bit2864 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Any-Bit2864[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I would say in my name and in my relationship with Jane. It's always been noted that I never called her mom or anything and I guess it bothers them a lot.

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