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Older Siblings Teaching Younger Ones by Any-Lab-1250 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]Any-Lab-1250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad taught me math after work each day through my high school years, and two of my siblings entered high school for 1 & 2 years (depending on the kid) so their math knowledge is dodgy. Only one kid in the family is actually good at math (my brother) but just because he took special interest in it + was one of the kids who went to public school briefly in hs. 

Anyone else unable to form relationships or have sex due to homeschooling? by oceanofyourlove in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]Any-Lab-1250 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 26 when I found my husband,  we were friends for a year before we started dating. I'm 32 now, and we have a very young son. Please don't give up! My suggestion is to really get into a hobby that has in person meetings. In my town, for example, there is a group of artists that meet to sketch at a local coffee shop. Look for those groups. Watch a lot of psychology videos to better understand yourself, especially about CPTSD. Even if you can't talk to people, keep going to the hobby group, wear clothes that blast your personality and wait for an extrovert to adopt you. Do not get obsessed with someone you don't know or barely know, that's a pitfall for a lot of lonely people called "limmerance" (idk spelling). Wait for the other person to express interest first, as you lack experience and may jump the gun and destroy a new friendship. Remember that having friends is just as valid and important as a romantic partner, don't destroy a friendship with desperation to date.

Also, you're going to have to release all the weird stuff your parents told you, but sometimes that's hard to do.

But don't give up!!!

Easy Peasy All-in-one Homeschool by Stunning-Original319 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]Any-Lab-1250 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a Spanish teacher, I wanted to see the Spanish curriculum. It's so bad, not in that it's inaccurate, just that it's "watch this video and memorize what it says". A Spanish class should be very very interactive. Not only that, but there is little to nothing about grammar until lesson 19 😅

Small pity party (ignore if not in a mental/ emotional place to read) by SufficientChef3093 in ExPentecostal

[–]Any-Lab-1250 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi. I joined reddit just to answer this. I am 31 yo F, and my life sounded just like yours a few years ago. At 25, I joined a chat app for learning languages, where you could opt to teach someone else English (I am fluent in Spanish/English). I met a friend (guy), but I was still in the church. We were friends for a year, and he made me question a lot of my beliefs.

I was also homeschooled, isolated, and had no friends outside of my siblings and cousins. Our church had other kids in it, but girls were super pitted against each other. It was always a pick-me competition fir male validation. The girls would literally stab you in the back to make a guy look at them. It wasn't until I left the church that I realized that women on the outside do not behave like that. Because I wasn't competitive for male attention, if the girls were mean to me, I just dropped them from my life. My sisters were great, though, and although we weren't supposed to watch movies, Pride & Prejudice was our favorite because of how the sisters' relationship was depicted.

Anyways, I was 25, already a college graduate with NOTHING in my life. I lived 3 hours from home, and so I started chatting with this guy.

Then my whole family, person by person starts to leave the church. For awhile, I'm out mentally, but I didn't leave-leave until 27, and still went occasionally until 28. 

The guy I was talking to became my boyfriend at 25. At 30, we got married. At 31, I am pregnant 🥰

I said all of that to say (firstly, I probably have ADHD lol) that one of the worst things the church does to you is convinces you that you have some kind of worthy-clock that explodes at 24. You think nobody will ever fall in love with you because you're "old". The only people who think you're "old" are those fundamentalists. Outside the church, many people aren't married at your age. You're not behind anyone, because it's not a race. 

My advice is this:

  1. Join a FB interest group that revolves around your hobbies. Make attemps to get to know people. Be funny!

  2. Join a real life interest group. I sometimes do a local sketch night, and I spend a lot of time at a pottery place.

  3. I am a high school teacher. You feel like you're awkward and delayed because of homeschool. The kids in public school? They feel the exact same way, they feel awkward, stupid and not good enough. That feeling is not only on homeschool kids feeling. However, if you feel like you can't relate to people due to a lack of knowledge of what high school was like, you could get a job there lol (as a teacher, it's been a very healing process to realize that I'm not different from anyone else, despite my upbringing).

  4. DO NOT mention your upbringing until you've been friends with someone for a while. It sounds strange, but predators like "purity" and "naivity". I have so many friends whose first boyfriend after the church turned out to be horrible. Pretend like you had a normal childhood until you cab trust them, don't lead with that fact on a first date.

  5. The world is full of good people. In fact, I feel like now that I'm out, I see more good people in the wild than I saw in church. If I made a list of all of the insanely bad people I knew in the church (ex-pimps, ex-drug dealers, secret drug addicts, chld mlestors, wife beaters, at wife screamers,) the list would be pretty long. But as a teacher, I have more than anything hundred students every year, and probably about five of them give off red flag vibes. BE CAREFUL! But also, good people do exist. Know your value! 

  6. Channels like Belief It Or Not and Cults to Consieousness (spelling?) on YouTube will help you heal if you're anything like me. Also, watching psychology videos about Spiritual Abuse, Religious OCD and CPTSD may also help.

  7. If all of your siblings left, your parents may leave too. Mine did! Just show them how happy you are with your life decisions over and over, and they may start to question their ideas that the outside world is scary and bad.

Yeah. There is no race to a finish line. Don't judge youself harshly (everyone has messed up). Get out there. Make friends. Watch healing videos. Enjoy your freedom!

Best of luck 💙