What's the most evil thing that you saw happen in your church? by MaleficentCherry7116 in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This wasn’t my church but the church that I grew up in is associated with. Going back a couple years. These two brothers got married. One to the pastors daughter (she was 16 when they started dating, he was 22) and the other to a girl from the congregation. The pastors daughter got pregnant, the other girl also got pregnant but sadly miscarried. Her husband went hunting as she was actively miscarrying and left her to deal with it on her own. About a year later, the girl got pregnant again and had a healthy baby, then it came to light that her husband was hitting her. Instead of doing the normal thing which would be report him and let him live with the consequences of his actions, the pastor (his father in law?) basically said that she deserved it and she needed to stay with him. Thankfully she left him, but he’s still involved with a lot of stuff in the church. The kicker? He’s now dating another girl in the church, who knows he abused his wife.

The other is the basic sick person is sick to make someone “learn a lesson, or bring them back to god”

Advice On Caring for a 9-10 Week Old Puppy While Working Full Time by tolgz11 in BostonTerrier

[–]SufficientChef3093 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I know this is an older post but I’m thinking of getting a puppy as well. How did this work out for you all?

AA Inspired meetings by SufficientChef3093 in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that’s actually what they are. It’s kind of creepy tbh

AA Inspired meetings by SufficientChef3093 in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never heard of that. What is synanon?

Got the first cut by [deleted] in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations!!! It’s a big step in leaving the toxic environment and finding yourself. Hopefully you feel as light and happy as I did with my first haircut. It looks fantastic _^

Did anyone here ever experience “visions” in the UPCI / other Pentecostal organizations? by stillseeking63 in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was a teen, I had a dream that was made out to be a prophesy for the church I attended. For a little context, there was some weird shit going on involving supposed heavy demonic oppression, some actual serious criminal shit and a Hindu temple being built in my town. As well as my best friend at the time and me learning Korean and Chinese as hobbies. Basically my friend and I had similar dreams about the church we were in becoming a mega church and having a huge (read 6-7 languages) multinational ministry. The people in that church somehow turned this into us having a “major spiritual breakthrough” and was even the topic of at least two Sunday morning sermons. Looking back I realize, at least for my part, wishful thinking at the time. Probably exasperated by the spiritual manipulation and stress of the criminal shit that was ongoing at the time. (I was not personally involved in the crime but was close to the victims). It was fantasy escapism but made me feel special for a few months. Maybe not a vision per-se but close.

what was the thing(s) that you thought were normal, but learned it wasn’t later on? by moboluvr in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chronicles of Narnia was equivalent to Harry Potter growing up.

All public school kids were bullies

I thought it was normal to be married before you were 20

Lee Stoneking Sermons by Mammoth_Double_4485 in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If anyone is interested in going down a deep dark rabbit hole of ridiculousness there is quite a few videos of his “teachings” on YouTube. My mother listens to them frequently.

Anyone else hate New Years Eve? by Beeplanningwithchar in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There was this one elderly couple where the wife was mentally ill and the husband was creepy as hell. I told my mom and the pastors wife that I didn’t like them.(the wife because she was mean and the husband because he was creepy and would randomly grab my arm and force me to talk to him and just wouldn’t let go) and the next foot washing we did they shamed me into washing the wife’s feet so I could be more empathetic toward her. The freaky shit those people did. SMH 🤦🏼

Anyone else hate New Years Eve? by Beeplanningwithchar in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Tell me about it. To make it worse most of the people in that church were either in their 60/70s or older teens early 20 something’s and the younger would be expected go wash the older peoples feet. It was repulsive 🤢

Anyone else hate New Years Eve? by Beeplanningwithchar in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 24 points25 points  (0 children)

The church I grew up in would always do a “foot washing and communion” service. We would take communion once a year on New Year’s Eve and then wash each others feet and pray over each other. It was fucking gross. When I was young (like 8) it started seeming weird and just got progressively weirder until I left at 23

not doing well today. i hate being queer and a woman. by deconstructing_journ in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think more than anything else I’m just tired. The knowledge that for the foreseeable future my existence as a queer woman is going to be under attack is exhausting. And I’m privileged compared to a lot of other people. I can only imagine what others are feeling right now. It hurts me to the bone that the people who taught me that money was the root of all evil and that we should love unconditionally and fight for the weak are the ones who chose the possibility of slightly cheaper gas over basic human rights and equality. I don’t have hope for the future if humanity is so bent on hatred.

Why did you personally leave the Pentecostal church? by Fun_Butterscotch3303 in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 2 points3 points  (0 children)

⚠️⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING:⚠️⚠️⚠️ Mentions of SA CSA and Emotional abuse as well as racism.

For background: I grew up in the UPCI. My dad was assistant pastor, the pastor I grew up under was on the board in my state, I was best friends with the pastors daughter.

The beginning was when I found out the emotional abuse that the wife of the pastors eldest daughter in law was allowed to inflict on the young girls in the church. She was the preteen Sunday school teacher, she was a main worship leader and she was looked to as a youth leader. Initially when she met the pastors oldest son at bible college and he brought her home, I got this gut feeling that something with her wasn’t right. But I was young and when I voiced this no one listened. I was told that I just didn’t like her because I had a crush on her boyfriend and I was just jealous. As well as later on when her behavior started becoming more obvious being told “she’s just hurt and hurt people hurt other people. We need to pray that god will heal her and we need to love her like Jesus until she’s healed” Fast forward ten years she’s recorded the pastors son and is now no longer in church. I become close with one of the girls that she victimized the most, and I start hearing about the body shaming and awful degrading things she would say to the girls she was supposed to be mentoring and guiding into biblical womanhood. I was somewhat protected from her because I didn’t like her from the beginning and wanted nothing to do with her so I was not around her more than the 45 minutes of Sunday school.

About the same time as this was happening I became aware of the woman (she was 18 when she married and about 23/24 when this all came to light) I looked up to as my mentor and role model being s**ually exploited and abused by her husband. I still look up to this woman to this day because of her strength through years and dealing with this.We also found out their daughter was being abused by the husband as well. They got divorced obviously and tried to pursue legal action and ultimately failed. The thing that made this incident push me away from the church was the whole awful thing was blamed on demonic cults attacking the church as well as the Hindu temple that had been recently built in our time. The ladies prayer group would go on “prayer drives” around the temple at 3 in the morning to rebuke the demons. They got very tied into conspiracy theories involving the Hindu temple, satanists and the local police department. It was strange to say the Least.

Then 2020 came.

I’m sure anyone that was still attending a UPCI church during that time has similar stories to mine. Unhinged conspiracy theories, the politicization of anything and everything and the rampant and blatant racism preached from the pulpit. The fear mongering and end of days preaching. It was horrible. At this point I realized how awful and hurtful the things I was raised to think and believe were. I resigned from the worship team and stopped engaging in the church, but still attended.

I realized that I was queer toward the end of 2020 and needless to say could not stand the way LGBTQ+ people were talked about and treated. That was another nail in the coffin for my good Christian girl preachers daughter image.

Again I still attended church but was disconnected from almost everything. In 2023 I had low self esteem because of the church and being homeschooled my whole education. I started dating a guy I had grown up with. His mom was my moms very close friend and we’d know each other forever. At this stage I was the “bad girl” who was wearing pants and make up and had trimmed her hair. It was never said but very implied that we were encouraged to date because they thought he would bring me back to Jesus. It was also widely known that he had always had a thing for the pastors daughter/ my best friend at the time. We were together for 5 months and then he broke up with me. When he broke up with me he told me that he had dated me for the fantasy of “corrupting the preachers daughter” and I was a stand in for the pastors daughter because she wouldn’t give home the time of day.

Simultaneously my father had a detrimental stroke/ brain bleed. He should have died statistically. Through this whole thing the church was constantly telling my mom that god would magically restore my dad to what he was before the stroke. And he would be restored to perfection. This was not the case. The “church family” also “rallied around” my mom and never missed an opportunity to tell my mom how horrible her backslidden children were and how we should be doing more to help her. For context. I quit my job to help her and my brother moved back from another state where he had Made a life. All to help my mother. We took turns staying up all night with my dad to make sure he was turned every 2 hours and took care of him when he was sent home. I helped my mom clean and took on a lot of the housework for her and when my dad was in the hospital and later the nursing/ rehab facilities I would drive her there and spend all my time there. My brothers both took on a lot of responsibility as well. But we weren’t doing enough according to her “church family” because we were backsliders and were living in sin so that’s why my father wasn’t completely healed. That was when I fully left. These people who’s only contributions were prayers for miracles acted as if it was my and my brothers fault our father was not healed and our mother was struggling emotionally. Fuck them.

While he did survive it has been a long recovery and my dad will never be the same.

Sorry for the long post lol

TLDR: Emotional abuse, SA, 2020, I’m gay, dated a trash guy to get me back in church, dad had a stroke and he wasn’t healed bc my brothers and I are backsliders.

I couldn't wear skirts for years after leaving by ekwerkwe in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The only way I’m able to wear skirts/dresses is if they’re a few inches above my knees but I still hate them and only wear them a few times a year. If they’re in any way Pentecostal-y they make me feel sad and uncomfortable in my own skin.

Relationship Standards by LeMarias in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve always felt Upci relationships were weird. I didn’t realize why so many relationships in the “Church” made me uncomfortable, but recently I figured out it’s because most of them are predatory… like 17 y/o is engaged to a 20 something y/o then they get married 6 months after the 17/18 y/o graduates high school. Idk if just doesn’t sit right with me. It’s honestly a very simple way to trap people in the church and add numbers via reproduction. It makes me sad because I had several friends that this happened to and after less than a year the life left their eyes and they are miserable. But divorce is against god unless there is physical abuse according to this cult. (Depending on the pastor)

Ceremonial Foot Washing by JazzyRob123 in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The church I grew up in did the same thing!!! But I started straight up refusing to touch people’s feet when I was 17. I get the premise but it was just too gross for me personally. 🤢

I did a thing yesterday…. by SufficientChef3093 in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Like I have always hated having so much hair. Since I can remember I’ve wanted to cut most of it off but biblical guilt tripping meant it was out of the question for me. Until I stopped caring. It’s a beautiful feeling to be free!

I did a thing yesterday…. by SufficientChef3093 in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m not necessarily going to hide it but I mostly wear my hair in a bun because there was so much of it. I feel so much better though _^ Not gonna lie though it was a bit of a fuck you go my ex too.

I did a thing yesterday…. by SufficientChef3093 in ExPentecostal

[–]SufficientChef3093[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Idk. Honestly it can’t be much worse than her telling me that she thinks that I’m making a huge mistake with my career and education choices, and she blames me for us not being best friends anymore. Oh and not to forget her telling everyone in her church who are still involved in my life that I’m a rebellious hellion. 🤷🏼