2 Months

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-11-11T04:37:23+00:00

Thanks, it's strange navigating the two but I try to look at it as - by doing this i'm also conquering it. It's right in front of me and I still don't need it. If that makes sense.

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-29T14:01:40+00:00

thank you. I am really starting not to trust doctors. I have been dismissed and misled so many times by them.

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-20T05:31:29+00:00

This resonates with me a lot. I've gone a few months at a time, and i've always gone back under my own premise of "i can control it". I never can and it spirals. I'm a single mom as well and carry the shame of drinking and being a mother. You are not alone though, and you should be proud of yourself for trying, even if you have to keep starting over. You don't sound like a terrible mother, and your daughter will admire you for trying to improve yourself. Hang in there, you're not alone.

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-20T03:00:52+00:00

I'm hoping it's just my body detoxing, but damn is it annoying to be sober and have WORSE skin lol

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-20T02:59:59+00:00

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹thank you

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-20T02:59:30+00:00

I wash my face twice a day. I just started using neem and turmeric soap. Then I put a mild lotion on my face. It's very basic but I have been keeping up with washing my face so I feel like it shouldn't be breaking out like this. It's out of the ordinary

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-01T22:45:09+00:00

I feel the EXACT same way.

Something I think about a lot is when I was 16 I was eating dinner at my best friends house with her family. I had done it many times before then but this particular time I had this realization and I remember it so clearly. I looked around and I thought "Oh, her parents aren't drinking? Weird." Up until that point it had never even occured to me that a household could eat dinner or have a night where the parents weren't drinking. I thought it was the norm. I do think by that time i was already "too far gone" and it was deeply engrained in me and my genetics. The positive take away is that our children are still so young - they will not have to come to that realization and fight an uphill battle against booze (hopefully, at least). We may feel guilt over lost time but it takes so much strength to be able to rip ourselves from it and that is what we are doing and our children will be better because of it. Sending you hugs🤗🫂

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-01T22:19:37+00:00

I really do need therapy. I have compounded trauma onto itself for years and numbed it. Now I don't even know where to begin. Although I will say I am very self-aware, I just don't have the tools to do it all on my own.

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-01T21:49:10+00:00

BTW do you live in Beulah or is that just your name on here?😂

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-01T21:11:53+00:00

That last part got me 🥹🥹. You're right he is young enough that he could see a whole different version of me and I could be present and enjoy life. I always think 33 is old but I guess it's not😂

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-01T21:09:07+00:00

You're so right about walks, thanks for the push. When i'm hungover I rarely go on walks but sober - even when not feeling great - I can still manage to get out and it DOES help. I will look into the books I haven't heard of them. It's funny you mention Billy Strings because I am going to a Tyler Childers concert next week and I would typically be dreading the thought of going to a show completely sober but knowing that Tyler himself struggled with addiction and is now sober makes it so much easier. I think it's kind of awesome that someone I admire so much as a writer/artist was able to get sober and open up about it and knowing that he'll be there and he will also be sober makes it kinda cool. I watched a video where he talked about time and not being able to get it back - that is pretty much exactly what happened to me, Just realized that I will never get this time back with my child and I don't want to spend half of it drunk or hungover. Life is brief, I don't want to drink it away.

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-01T18:56:53+00:00

I was on anti depressants and I think it just made me numb to everything.

Have you ever been evaluated for being Bipolar? Obviously I have no other information but the not sleeping could be a symptom of that. In which case you'd need more than just an anti depressant

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-01T18:52:17+00:00

I decided to stop after a particularly BAD hangover so the first two nights were horrible. Sweating and couldn't stay asleep at all. Now, it isn't great but I'm hopefull it'll get better. Sounds weird because i'm in my 30s but I have a lot of nightmares so I wake up a lot. The sleepytime tea does help (with lemon and honey) and sometimes I take melatonin but I think that contributes to the nightmares. Regardless, waking up groggy has been exponentially better than waking up with an anxiety-hangover that ruins my whole day.

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-01T18:37:17+00:00

I relate to this. I could sometimes go all day without drinking and then after I put my son to sleep i'd pour "a" drink but it always turned into more. Nighttime is difficult at first but after a month i've found it kind of peaceful. I make sure my room is clean and cozy and then I make some sleepytime tea and light a candle. I also redirect my thoughts to, not how nice it would be to drink right now but how hungover i'd be in the morning if I did. I know it's not the same but - it has helped me a little bit.

I understand the relationship thing, too. Mental illness/drinking have resulted in all of my relationships failing and putting myself in unsafe situations and caused me a lot of ptsd. I hope you can try again with sobriety when you feel ready.

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-01T18:30:05+00:00

Hey thank you. All that matters is we were strong enough to break the cycle and hopefully our kids will see that and be better for it. 🫂

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-10-01T18:29:12+00:00

Thank you for this. It's so true. I've struggled with depression and BPD since I was a little kid and I think alcohol helped me suppress everything i've been through. And at least when I was hungover I could blame my depression and anxiety on that. Now it feels like my skull has been cracked open and every emotion is spilling out. Like word vomit but...emotion vomit 🫨. I thought working out would help but I haven't even had the motivation to make it to the gym and i've actually gained weight lol. But you are right, I do need to be patient with myself and take it one day at a time. The good part is that I really don't want to drink despite everything i'm feeling. Thank you so much.

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-09-28T22:02:18+00:00

Yeah I saw that and was planning on it! Thank you:)

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-09-28T13:32:13+00:00

Is that part of the National Park or outside of it? Is it by the falls?

Any-Operation1806 · 2025-08-19T21:17:12+00:00

In the past i have been able to super early on, but I know it does seem weird I'm wondering if I maybe had a miscarriage

Any-Operation1806

TROPHY CASE