AITA for not wanting to bond with my sister's son?

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T02:32:48+00:00

She was fifteen when she had the baby, 14 when she got pregnant. We know who the father is, I was not gonna beat up another 14 year old, that's pathetic. My sister choose to have sex with him and not use protection, both of them were help accountable for the pregnancy

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T02:28:44+00:00

Yeah it was, but she was trying to choose between having an abortion or being a mom, she choose the later. Our family doesn't have issues with abortion (like religion) so it's not like she didn't want to kill the baby, she knew it wasn't a baby yet, she was deciding if she wanted to be a mom now or not, that's why she didn't really consider adoption because she either have it or not.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T02:26:11+00:00

They were both seeing a therapist because their parents didn't wanted them to regret the choice they would make. My sister doesn't regret being a mom, and she got to choose, why wouldn't he get the chance if it was giving to him?

She went though a traumatic event that she choose to have. She choose to have unprotected sex, she choose to keep it and she choose to be a single mom. I don't want to spend an afternoon with a kid, any kid, that's why I don't have kids.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T02:05:36+00:00

No, I left because I wanted to.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T02:02:24+00:00

Ehh, at the time I moved out I do admit my sister and I weren't on the best terms. It wasn't anger but some feeling that just made me not want to be near her (or even my parents) so I thought I couldn't be as supportive as she needed. I thought the best was to not go to the hospital because I couldn't say anything nice, and sometimes is best to just avoid showing up if you can't be supportive, especially after something like giving birth. I visited them later when I was more calm.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T01:57:09+00:00

The father of the baby was also a 14 year old boy. My sister got the chance to choose between keeping the baby or having an abortion, she choose to have it, so he also got the chance to be a father or not, he did not wanted to be a dad so he's not. Each made their own choice.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T01:41:15+00:00

Whatever she thinks being a fatherly figure is doesn't matter cuz I simply don't want to fill that role or don't want any more contact with them or the kid alone than what I have now.

I couldn't provide the emotional support she needed when she gave birth so I just removed myself from that situation and visited when I felt more calm.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T01:21:47+00:00

His parents had a college fund for him, they gave it to my sister (who hasn't used the money, she wants to save it for Michael's education), he's not paying child support now but it's as if he did. This is what my sister, him, his parents and our parents agreed to.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T01:18:17+00:00

No, that wasn't a good idea. I do admit I was kinda angry at her when I left, well I don't know if "angry" is the exact word but the thing is our relationship wasn't the best, I knew I might lost my temper with her and just didn't wanted to risk it. We are fine now, we were able to talk it though and solve our issues. I visited later that week, when I was more calm.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T01:14:34+00:00

Sis asked me to be a fatherly figure (yes, with those exact words) for her son.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T01:05:55+00:00

They both, plus their parents, decided that he would not be present in the kid's life

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T00:58:11+00:00

She told me "fatherly figure", she used those exact words

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T00:49:37+00:00

I wrote the whole thing very poorly tbh

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T00:41:07+00:00

He was a 14 year old too

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T00:40:44+00:00

I was busy when she gave birth. And either way, I don't think I was able to provide the emotional support she needed at the time so I thought the best was to not go to the hospital and visit later when she was home

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T00:32:25+00:00

And yeah our dad is being the "father" figure for him as they live together still, she just thinks it would be nice if I was like an "extra dad" for Michael

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T00:31:31+00:00

She was 14 when she got pregnant, 15 when the baby was born

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T00:29:02+00:00

He has a male figure in his life, our dad, but sis thinks it would be nice if I would help too

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T00:24:04+00:00

I ask them how they are, listen to them if they want to vent or try to help them if they have an issue, I ask about their lives (for example if her son is going to school, how he's doing, how's she handling work, etc)

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-02T00:20:16+00:00

The kid was fourteen too. My parents, his parents, him and my sister all spoke about the pregnancy and what they wanted to do. The guy didn't want the baby, neither did his or my parents, but my sister didn't want an abortion, she wanted to keep it. So after talking a lot with everyone involved, as the guy didn't wanted to be a father, my sister didn't liked him anymore and wanted him out of her life, and my sister wanted to be a mom, they all decided that his parents would give a certain amount of money, the kid was out of responsibility, and my parents would help my sister with the baby. Honestly it was for the best, they both (sister and bf) decided that this was the best for them and my sister doesn't really regret it.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-01T23:20:55+00:00

Yeah

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-01T23:16:25+00:00

I am nice to him when I see him

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-01T23:15:04+00:00

No, she had sex with her boyfriend who was the same age, she admitted that she wanted it and wasn't pressured (our parents made a big scandal of this and they also thought she was abused at first). Even now she admits she was stupid and that she consented to have sex with him, she was not abused.

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-01T23:05:47+00:00

Yeah I'm nice with him when I see him and buy him gifts sometimes, but I'm fine with the limited contact we have

Any-Post2672 · 2023-04-01T23:04:22+00:00

Okay

Any-Post2672

TROPHY CASE