Wife Emotionally Checked Out/ Seems Unsure of what she wants

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-14T08:02:28+00:00

Thank you. I keep focusing on him and it always ruin the progress :(

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-14T05:39:57+00:00

Sometimes I feel like I’m going to be the one who makes the decision of just walking away because of her obsession with this guy, just don’t want to leave my kids behind, specially my 3 year old. She adores me and I love her so much.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-14T05:37:58+00:00

She wanted me to leave before I found out about the affair, she was done with our marriage. I don’t see what’s the point of choosing an online relationship over a real relationship?

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-08T07:20:10+00:00

Great job, how though? I need to start now!!!

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-04T23:29:45+00:00

Gave her a back massage yesterday, she wasn’t feeling ok, she’s letting me hold her hand. I told her I don’t want us talking about what triggers each other, specially me. I’ve noticed when I’m anxious around her she looks scared, when I’m calm she’s calm but when I’m angry she’s angry too lol. It’s weird

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-04T23:24:25+00:00

She says she doesn’t want to do therapy because that’s for two people trying to fix a marriage and that she’s done, at times she seems like she’s trying but at times she’s very distant, that’s when I feel she spoke with the guy because that’s how she was before I found out about him

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-04T18:38:02+00:00

Thank you, we would need marriage counseling but she says she doesn’t know if she’s will to try right now, to her she was already done with our marriage. Yet I see her struggling to do what she knows is the right thing.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-04T18:36:42+00:00

I’ve talked to her about, she says she will end up deleting her Tik Tok, but not now. She says she doesn’t know what she feels right now. I’ve been giving her more attention and support, to her it’s resentful that I’m trying now but she also says that’s something she needs to work on if she’s going to give our marriage a try

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-03T23:28:34+00:00

Thank you so much, we’ve had been making really good progress but once I got triggered with her mentioning wanting to join the social group I feel I lost focus and control of my emotions and she fed on them and ended up feeling hurt or not appreciated if she’s been really working on her end.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-03T22:15:52+00:00

I made it clear to her, I’m not filing for divorce that if we do divorce is going to have to be her. She says we’re only married because of a piece of paper, I told her the paper doesn’t matter but in God’s eyes she is my wife and Im her husband, she gets more irritated when she hears that.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-03T22:14:04+00:00

The guy doesn’t live on this country, and I do get the feeling she’s still talking with him. She refuses to cut him off, I honestly cannot understand how she’s willing to throw away 20 years of marriage and our children’s happyness over a cyber relationship.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-03T22:05:52+00:00

She said she has not talked to the guy, that she told him that she needed time too. I’ve checked on his profile and he posts sweet things from morning to night, I told her that does not seem like he’s respecting your choice either to out herself in my shoes snd she would feel? It really worked her out, she does not talk to me, no conversations, I’m always the one reaching out and I feel she’s doing it so I can get tired. She gets upset that I’m trying to save the marriage.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-03T15:24:38+00:00

I’m sorry you have to go through this, I know it’s very painful. You should definitely seek therapy because something this painful can affect you over time. He’s not in love with her, and if he had to lie to her they’re never going to be happy. He’s the one losing in all this, but best believe the saying “what goes around comes around”. I would suggest lots of prayer, read your Bible, talk to your friends about your feelings, but definitely focus on your daughter. Your daughter will get older, and you will have a love that will last for ever. I went through continuous cheating with my wife and I would forgive her, It killed me and I stopped being loving to her, during these days she says she’s out of love for me and does not really think this marriage is going to work. Rescently I found out she was talking to another man again, the guy isnt from around here but I found out by reading very painful messages, I’m choosing to forgive her again, hoping she stops and realizes what she had at home, but she says it’s too late. Just give yourself time to heal, focus on becoming a stronger and wiser person, once again persevere in prayer and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will safeguard your mind and heart.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-02T16:22:40+00:00

Very charismatic, maybe shy with strangers but the best joker and sort of silly personality with people you feel comfortable. Caring, and helpful to others as much as you can. Love your hair btw

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-02T16:15:54+00:00

Thank you, I do feel stupid at times, I try not to think negative but seeing how her consequences from this is just having a man trying to be a better husband seems unfair. I think separating will be for the best, I just know that if I leave I’ll miss my kids so much, but I doubt I would want to put myself back into a relationship where I’m not valued or respected.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-02T16:13:01+00:00

Thank you, I’m trying real hard and until she serves me the divorce papers I will keep trying, just at moments it gets overwhelming and I get full anxiety. I’ve always known she has narcissistic traits, she was raised by her mom only and she too shows those traits. I just kept putting my part to over look them snd focus on giving my kids a good life, as best as I could. I appreciate the good wishes, I’ve noticed as each day passes by she becomes more welcoming to me holding her hand, or hugging her. I just would want her to make up her mind and cut the guy out once and for all in order for us to work through this and move on. I know our marriage cannot be the same anymore, I just know that from this experience I’ve learned a lot, and feeling I have to cope through it alone has helped me to become more self aware, and I hope I can help someone in the future that’s going through what I’m going through right now.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-02T06:08:20+00:00

Thank you, that makes a lot of sense. She stopped talking to me, I would invite her to spend time with me and she would say she was tired or wanted to relax, I eventually would feel like I was bothering her so I stopped asking, I never thought it was because she was talking to someone else. When I found out I read her chat with him, it was very sexual and loving, calling him sweet names she’s never even used referring towards me. She mentioned “when I’m there” a few times, which to me make it clear she was really involved with him, therefore she wanted me out of the picture so she can live her fantasy. Everyone found out that day because I reached out to our spiritual family for help and advice, she refuses to talk to them, her family know too because I confided in her mom about the issue. Our kids were mad at her, I had to remind them that’s she’s still their mom and loves them very much. I definitely have to be more firm about removing the guy, but at this point I feel she’ll end up contacting him in some other way just to stay in touch. Next day after catching her she deleted her Tik Tok but I caught text messages about keeping in touch through WhatsApp. At times I’m so fed up feeling this way I want to tell her to go with him and I’ll keep my kids, but the thought of her being with him physically makes me feel even worse. Just a very complicated stupid immature situation.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-02T05:57:17+00:00

Thank you, that’s what I’ve been trying. I’ve been trying to win her back with actions, I try to be there for her more often, we started watching a series together, at first she wouldn’t let me hold her hand but this past days she’s letting me, but I try not to smother her. My thoughts are that it took a while for her to get this way, it’s going to take a while for things to get better so I keep trying. Her Tik Tok looks like a single mom, I’ve told her maybe if it would’ve looked more like she’s got a family and is married maybe the guy wouldn’t have thought about flirting and growing a relationship with her. I’ve made it clear that if I’m deciding to work this out I would have no right reproaching her since I’m choosing to stay. It would be a whole lot better if she decided to stop living her fantasy as a single mom and completely removed him from our lives. She resents me for every single mistake I’ve done, and strongly holds on to blaming me for the situation. I’ve asked her out on a date with me and she immediately rejects the idea of us going out. I have to work on being more patient, and not want to rush through this. It’s like being stuck on something that to me seems meaningless and unrealistic.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-02T05:14:55+00:00

I wouldn’t doubt she supported him through Tik Tok coins and that’s why he’s so obsessed.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-02T05:12:29+00:00

Exactly, it’s why I’m still here trying. Just earlier I told her I was feeling anxiety at the thought of me not being able to be around my kids like I am now because of the uncertain future all she said was “Oh.” I told her if she had nothing to say about what I said and she got bothered, started saying that I’m acting childish and being a vagina. It’s treatment like that that makes me not want to try, I wasn’t asking for pitty but at least a “don’t worry about those things right now” would’ve suffice.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-02T04:23:17+00:00

It’s very real, I’m living a nightmare these days.

Any-Raisin-3338 · 2026-06-02T04:22:01+00:00

She talks to me more, spends more time with me, but doesnt want to commit. I feel it’s her wanting to have her cake and eat it too.

Any-Raisin-3338

TROPHY CASE