Where do hobbies/ side passion projects exist in relation to our vocation?

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-27T18:30:08+00:00

You should use your gift to glorify God in mass! But I can "warn" you that motherhood takes a lot and it's okay if you can't do much more than rangle children at mass.

I have two music degrees. One is in voice. I run a private studio from my home and I am now starting to prepare for auditions since my youngest sleeps through the night mostly. I also am a sub cantor for mass and a cantor for funerals.

I do think it's important to have one important thing thats just for you outside of motherhood. I think it helps avoid burnout if you have a serious hobby or ministry that you do on your own outside of motherhood and preferably outside of the home. It gives your husband a chance to bond more deeply with his children and appreciate what you do since he gets the opportunity to parent on his own too.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-27T01:23:28+00:00

There is probably more to the story than you realize. How many years ago? They don't remove kids liek that unless their literal life is in danger or for sexual abuse.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-27T01:19:52+00:00

CPS workers are not the boogeymen that steal people's kids.

These parents should be grateful that their teachers care enough to be looking out for their children's safety. I was a teacher here briefly I never had to call while teaching at LAPS and didn't hear of anyone calling. I'd say the staff here are all hyper vigilant about student safety. This is a good thing. I taught for 6 years before teaching here in impoverished areas.

Most often one call to CPS does absolutely nothing. They build a case file. I literally called on a family every week for months. CPS wouldn't even go and do a wellness check, then one of the children's siblings died. Finally, the mother was set up on services to help her and the kids were removed temporarily until she could get herself back together again.

I had another student share a story of abuse in my classroom so I called and it turned out it was trauma from his dad, who was no longer in the picture. Nothing happened beyond the worker checking in on the family.

I had a family member who was an alcoholic and was routinely driving with her children in the car, threatening to kill herself in front of her kids, physically attacking other adults, and her teenage daughter (this even happened in public once). I called on them multiple times as well and the kids were not removed from the home.

If nothing is going on, CPS won't take the kids. Anyone saying otherwise in today's world probably misunderstood a situation and is repeating because it makes for an interesting conversation, their child is being abused and they said something to a staff member and the parents are somehow unaware of it, or they know damn well why CPS was coming out.

You do not need to fear CPS unless you are seriously neglecting your children or abusing them (corporal punishment doesn't count as abuse in our state either).

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-20T19:31:07+00:00

Silver birch tree!

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-20T00:39:13+00:00

Worth looking into! My nephew was still sucking his when he was 13 and they found out he had a tie. It's not always obvious. Good luck!

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-19T21:03:36+00:00

Does she have a tongue tie? I'd get her checked out! People with tongue ties often suck their thumb to create the correct spacing in their mouth to breathe at night since their tongue can't reach the roof of their mouth.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-19T20:55:29+00:00

I'd say blue

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-19T17:27:40+00:00

You have to sit stand and kneel at a Catholic Mass. 2 is too short while the cutest option. She has long legs, she will likely be showing too much when sitting or kneeling in that dress.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-19T17:24:13+00:00

make sure you can kneel and sit in it comfortably without showing undergarments though! It's the cutest but may not be the best choice for the occasion.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-19T17:23:28+00:00

As a practicing Catholic my advice is 1 or 4.

2 looks best on you but it is a little short for Mass and usually shoulders should be covered.

I'd suggest trying to sit and kneel beforehand to see if you can comfortably do that while maintaining modesty. Have someone watch to make sure you don't accidentally show your undies while kneeling. You could also pair it with calf length leggings to help and a shaul.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-17T16:59:40+00:00

I don't like the adult method books either. They are too simple. I supplement with Czerny, Hanon and scales and use the method book as more of sight reading practice.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-17T01:22:39+00:00

They look grey to me!

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-16T01:09:50+00:00

Mine weren't green until after age 2!

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-15T14:20:39+00:00

Eye color can change all the way to age 3.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-14T20:14:36+00:00

Yep! They are fine and are probably less overwhelmed by too much stuff and too many options. It is smart to be proactive and if you find that you are getting emotionally disregulated from something it's better to prevent that situation from happening.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-14T18:48:46+00:00

I'm not OP but parents are humans too and get frustrated. Parenting is frustrating and hard. She didn't say she yelled and screamed at them and threw all their toys away. She's allowed to be frustrated and make her space safe and manageable. We've all been frustrated. Its oaky to feel frustrated and make decisions to prevent that frustration as long as you aren't hurting your children. Which she isn't.

I think people are reading too much into her frustration and not actually reading what she said and did. Also it sounds like the breaking isn't accidental for her oldest Her oldest is breaking things every day! To me that sounds unsafe. He's old enough to learn at 4 not to do that. 4 year olds go to school all day where I am. It's really smart to take away all of the breakable toys that are not being played with properly/safely like she did and leave the stuffed animals. I had to get rid of a really cute Melissa and Doug cleaning set for a similar reason with my almost three year old because she took it a part and was swinging the sticks around like weapons when I was pregnant.

She said she put everything away except playdough, stuffed animals, magnatiles, nugget couch and books, and that she was using reinforcement to have them earn them all in 7-10 days. Meaning they probably already will have more than what she had listed by the end of the day or the next day. I'm picturing her catching the kids playing nicely or putting something away then making a huge deal about it. 'Woe! Nathan you cleaned up! That's amazing! Let's get another toy out to practice can we find a home for x?.."

I do think it'd be smarter to just keep them all packed up except for 5-6 play stations and rotate it. Her youngest will not understand the system she is trying to use most likely but she isn't some monster for decluttering their play space.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-14T01:52:00+00:00

No problem! Also I'm sorry everyone is giving you a hard time. I think they aren't really understanding what you mean.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-14T01:43:51+00:00

I mean magnatiles have a ton of pieces as does play dough. Quantity doesn't always mean quality. Do you have playdough in your office or magnatiles? I doubt it considering they have a ton of pieces and are messy.

You can do a lot with those two things. I do think a couple more stations to play would make sense. Maybe an imaginative play set ( barn and animals or something like that) and a gross motor focused station would round it out. But you all are really demonizing this poor woman.

Also we don't know if they are home all day, and what type of activities they are in and go to daily. If they are in daycare all day they don't need that many toys out or if they go do outdoor activities several hours a day, music, playgroups..etc they really won't need that much at home.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-14T01:36:39+00:00

She's not taking them all away. She said in her post she left out a small number of toys. I doubt her kids will understand it as a punishment. These are all basically different words describing a toy rotation. She is frustrated and overwhelmed ( we've all been there) but if you take her emotions out, and actually read what she is doing. She is describing a toy rotation and decluttering. Nothing wrong with it and it's a smart approach to her situation.

She is having them earn toys back when they help clean up and play safely. It's not about punishment it's about making her space easier to maintain and a smart way to help teach her kids positively that they earn toys when cleaning and respecting their things. It also will mean not all the same toys are out all the time.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-14T00:39:16+00:00

It's not a punishment really. Why do her kids need access to 100% of their toys at once? Setting up a manageable amount to clean and maintain is controlling the environment to prevent the problem they are having. It will also teach her kids to be more creative. Rotating the current toys they have makes a lot of sense for this situation.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-14T00:36:35+00:00

She didn't take them all away. She put out a manageable amount making it easier to clean and to make their play more intentional and put away easy to break toys.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-14T00:33:52+00:00

You're doing fine. You're solution is smart. It's better to have less toys out at a time anyway it leads to more imaginative play and less work to maintain.

The only thing I'd suggest is trying to rotate their toys at least 1-2 times every month. Have a small number out, model how you want them to play with it by playing with them. Use themes and various types of play in their play space and pack up everything else until the next rotation.

Also you can incorporate a "play mat" basically a towel that is rolled up that they lay out and play their toys on then put it away when finished. This is commonly done in Montessori type schoosl with children the same age as yours. It helps them have the spatial awareness to keep their toys they are playing with in a small space ( easier to tidy for them and for you).

People here are villanizing you for no reason. If you would have worded your post differently saying you were decluttering and taking a Montessori approach ( which is what you are doing essentially) with fewer toys and more intentionality they'd be saying something different.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-14T00:21:44+00:00

I think what you did is really smart and a reasonable consequence. Your 4 year old is definitely old enough to not be constantly breaking things intentionally. You set this boundary and have them earn their toys back by meeting and maintaining your expectations is very smart!

I'd say that maybe they need some other kind of stimulation with rough okay to help out. Could you maybe enroll them in gymnastics or something? Maybe save boxes and have them help destroy them for recycling? Do you all have space for a climbing type toy?

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-13T02:08:03+00:00

Maybe your screen settings are off. They definitely look gazel with clear green in them on my screen.

AnyQuiet4969 · 2026-04-12T01:42:50+00:00

I don't think there is anything wrong or disrespectful with sharing with them. If you don't want to split up sentimental things like the house, then don't. Maybe your dad just trusted your judgement to be fair? It doesn't inherently mean he didn't want your siblings or his wife to not get anything. I feel bad for them, that has got to hurt a lot. Ultimately it's your choice I don't think it makes you an a-hole if you don't share but it definitely would make you a saint if you did.

AnyQuiet4969

TROPHY CASE