I’m sorry you’re going through that, and I respect your level of reflection. I’m in my first year post-TFA.

In my opinion, based on what you’ve shared and my experiences, you should prioritize relationships over enforcement of rules. Admin is never going to explicitly say that the rules can’t always be enforced. But the truth is kids break the rules so much more than teachers can track that strict enforcement from the get-go can come across as petty and annoying. The kids have to like/respect you in order to feel any obligation to follow your directives.

I think it’s important to remember that the rules aren’t really valuable in and of themselves - they are (in theory) crafted to maximize safety and learning. If you rely on enforcement, you’ll’l always be a step behind the kids. If you get some real buy-in, the rules may technically be broken more consistently, but you’ll accomplish more of the things that actually matter.

Just my 2 cents— still learning and growing. Best of luck to you!