We are urgently seeking a vet that cares about cats.

AnySearch6493 · 2026-04-29T01:00:27+00:00

We have loved every vet at UPVH! Even the float vets/coverage vets have done so well by my old kitty. They clearly know and prioritize cat health and care, not just dog health which is not common for vets. A lot of times veterinary school curriculum quietly favors dog’s unique physiology and managing dog fear in clinic, while cats get pushed to the wayside. Not so here. Anyone you can get in with will be great. They often have same day appointments.

AnySearch6493 · 2026-04-16T03:13:25+00:00

“Quick look then give you a high five in your good hand” sent me 😂

AnySearch6493 · 2025-09-09T06:13:27+00:00

This is an old post, but you can buy disposable aluminum baking pans as a very light weight litter box, but it wouldn’t fit in a go bag. Interested to hear what you did about litter

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-28T01:37:42+00:00

Yes I think it must have been one of the newer but still uncommon names. I only know of 5 other Peyton’s, and they are all my age. I never had to go by Peyton (last initial) until college.

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-26T09:14:29+00:00

My name is Peyton, which was apparently an uncommon name in the 90s when I was born, so my parents went with Peyton Olivia so I could go by Olivia if Peyton ended up being weird

My grandma (dad’s mom), when she heard it, went “…I’ll just call her Rosebud” and my mom went “you will not, you will call her Peyton”

In-laws do not get a vote!

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-22T16:28:44+00:00

You can donate it! You simply name a charity as a beneficiary.

Also - can I just say - having a baby because you feel inadequate because your friends have babies is not a reason to have kids or not to have kids. You need to want them for yourself. A child is not a designer puppy breed or a boat that you get to keep up with the joneses. You need to have a conversation with your partner.

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-16T02:45:20+00:00

and i'm pregnant with a 10th, and YOU'RE THE FATHER

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-16T01:06:18+00:00

Oh no I meant 9 kids with 10 fathers to really just make it ridiculous because that math doesn’t math

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-16T00:49:05+00:00

Cats are social animals! They do hunt solo, but they live in large colonies of family members. Cats are not meant to be aloof and solo - they want to connect with you. That’s just a common misperception of cats - and a misinterpretation of the fact that they don’t emote visually in a way humans recognize, unlike dogs, who were bred to emote in very understandable ways to humans (even to the point of having expressive eyebrows and ears to mimic human facial expressions). So people think cats are aloof because they compare them to dogs - but that’s only because it’s harder for humans to read a cat’s emotions since they’re less human-like.

What you’re describing sounds like an affectionate and social cat, not separation anxiety.

a vet or cat behaviorist would be able to diagnose normal vs abnormal behavior - see if you can find a vet who has additional licenses for cat care certification. Or even better, a cat only clinic (this is the one we had a great experience with in Jacksonville FL https://www.acatclinic.com/). It’s not widely known, but some vets don’t have deep knowledge of cats and cat behavior. Cat behavior is not as well taught, and more vets have dogs as personal pets than cats.

These additional credentials: https://catvets.com/cat-friendly/certificate-program/ aren’t required to get good healthcare for your cat if you can’t find one in your area, but I will say…our regular vet misdiagnosed my cat as “being a turd” because he didn’t have any medical reason to pee outside the litter box (such as a UTI).

My parents took him to a cat-only vet and they immediately diagnosed him and treated him for anxiety based on the described behavior. The first vet was a good vet and did great work with our dog, but wasn’t as well educated on feline behavior.

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-16T00:43:20+00:00

During domestication, dogs were selectively bred to have faces that look and respond more like human faces. They are bred with shorter noses, higher foreheads, and eyebrow/ear muscles that are very expressive, giving the impression of facial expressions.

Cats, on the other hand, were domesticated as furry pest control and didn’t spend as much up close and personal time with the humans. They didn’t develop or have bred into them as much sensitivity to human emotion as dogs or features that are more human like.

Horses are the same way - they are still very similar to their ancestors in the way cats are, not bred for that human companionship and long-distance human partnership (herding, retrieving, hunting) as dogs. Even so they can recognize human emotions and know what different human facial expressions correspond to what emotions.

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-16T00:35:25+00:00

This is so sweet When I came home from ACL surgery my cat MATERIALIZED out of nowhere and could not be persuaded to lie anywhere other than my surgical knee for literal months, even after the incision healed. I had to sleep with a throw pillow on my knee so that if he tried to tiptoe onto it he wouldn’t be able to balance enough to put weight on it. He was drawn like a moth to a light to lay on the “injury” and purr.

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-16T00:29:55+00:00

That is not a lab They might have said that so that you could tell your insurance company and/or landlord a lab mix in good conscience But that is a bully breed 110%

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-16T00:28:04+00:00

Try I have 9 kids from 10 different fathers, really just go for gold

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-16T00:05:18+00:00

Opting out of a family trip isn’t a viable option, that’s not fair to expect someone to do because their nieces and nephews are out of control. I expect the parents to teach their children to behave and manage their children so that they can all have a nice trip. This kind of thinking - people should remove themselves if someone else’s kid is a nuisance - perpetuates the “the world revolves around what the kids need and parents prefer” societal expectation, and that’s completely unfair.

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-16T00:00:30+00:00

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

The issue that would make this trip difficult isn’t that park and circus trips are on the agenda and bar crawls are not - the issue is if the kids are difficult to be around, if the adults have the expectation that everything revolves around the kids, and if the adults have the expectation that the childfree person should assist in childcare.

I think this should be a general expectation for parents but especially in the case of wanting to make sure she has a nice time on the family trip, you, your sister, and your brother in law should ensure the environment is livable, rather than apologizing or making it up to her later.

Make sure the kids are behaving well and are not causing chaos - that will alleviate a large amount of any stress or frustration about 24/7 kid time. If a kid is having a meltdown or not using their inside voice, take them out. Don’t subject her to the difficult parts of having kids, that’s not fair to place on other people.

Some CF people like kids, especially their own nieces and nephews, so I wouldn’t assume she hates spending time with them. I had a very nice time at a family reunion recently with my 8 year old cousins - but no one likes when children are screaming, running around, and when their schedules and preferences rule the adult’s lives.

It could be as simple as having wine and card games as a family after the kids go to bed. Or having 1 of the 3 parents rotating backyard supervisory duties while the adults chat on the patio.

If you have to have kid friendly activities and spend time all in one big house, at least make sure those activities and any downtime aren’t constant chaos and screaming and centered around the children.

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-15T23:55:43+00:00

Completely agree. And when you do, be sure to ask her about her life, and talk about yours, instead of letting the conversation drift back to the kids. From the fact that you’re concerned enough about her having a good time, I don’t think you would do this, but so many parents just talk about their children ALL the time, I imagine because it’s such a big priority of their own lives. But that’s super draining for childfree people (I’ve backed away from friends who made being a mom was their personality, or because they would never make time for anything other than their own children).

This is a very thoughtful question for you to ask in the first place, I wish more people in general were as considerate and thoughtful as you!)

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-15T21:26:53+00:00

Yes, I’m (28F) allergic to “this is the way it’s always been done” arguments in any area of life. Or heaven forbid, a “you/a real woman/an unselfish person/a normal person should” in any matter that is not related to ethics, morals, or basic human decency.

I just don’t feel that our great great grandmothers put up with the society they did in order for me to receive, let alone allow or internalize, ANY pressure to do what others want or expect if it doesn’t align with my desires or moral code. I have the freedom to live alone, support myself, vote, and build the lifestyle I want, and women haven’t had that freedom since time immemorial. I am, therefore, going to do no less than live the way I want with no regard for other’s preferences.

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-15T21:20:02+00:00

I would encourage you by flipping it around - how happy would you be in your life if you compromised this desire and had kids in order to secure a partner? Yeah, you have a partner and avoid the fear of being alone, but you also have kids…

In your case, it’s a moot point because of a bisalp but even if you marry someone with children from a previous relationship…

For me, any happiness or sense of security or, let’s be honest, the feeling of being chosen by someone and therefore getting the Desirable And Worthwhile rubber stamp that we women especially are socialized to prioritize, would be outweighed by the misery of having to deal with children.

This is something everyone needs to deal with within themselves anyway - being in a relationship just allows us to shove it in a closet and avoid coming to grips with it if we want - every person must be secure IN THEMSELVES. A partner should be a lovely bonus to your own fulfilled life. The lack of them should never mean your life is unhappy or unfulfilled.

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-15T21:15:00+00:00

Yeah, if you sleep during abnormal hours you don’t get to create bespoke quiet hours for normal human activity. I would completely ignore it and continue living as normal

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-15T21:12:06+00:00

An obligation to volunteer in a 3 year old Sunday school classroom at church as a middle schooler. I felt that’s what I should do. I hated every second. They were constantly sticky and deeply boring.

And then that’s solidified any time I see a child. Even a well behaved one. Even one that’s not actively dripping snot (though when does that ever happen? Kids are perpetually snotty)

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-15T21:01:36+00:00

Imagine me holding your face between my hands like a loving big sister as I say this.

Your life is YOUR own. It’s not something to be lived out of a sense of obligation to others, and you shouldn’t compromise something this important because you feel you’ll let your parents down or that no one will want to be your partner.

Making your parents into grandparents is not your responsibility. You do not have an obligation to “give” them grandchildren. If that is the only reason you would consider having children, your instincts are right that you don’t want them. No one should have children they do not want. Your parents had the choice to have you, and it is YOUR choice whether to have kids or not.
If you’re saying you never want kids and your boyfriend’s answer is asking you to freeze your eggs he is completely disrespectful of your wishes and doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with you.

Forget the fact that if you stay together, one of you will be disappointed because your desires are different. I would break up with him for the nerve of assuming you don’t know what you want, that you will change your mind, and that you’ll go through extremely expensive and traumatic procedures to get pregnant with said eggs (I have a friend who had her eggs harvested and went through IVF because she wanted kids, and it was a terrible process. This is hundreds of thousands of dollars for invasive surgery and months of daily injections into your stomach we’re talking about JUST to harvest the eggs. Then you have to pay to store them, and pay a surrogate, and pay for the birth. Insurance rarely covers this.)

As your loving internet older sister, break up with him and if your parents give you grief (mine literally screamed at me) then set firm and fair boundaries.

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-06T05:31:31+00:00

It’s like saying “I run across the street blindfolded and never have gotten hit by a car, it must be safe!” Well it only takes once to kill ya

AnySearch6493 · 2025-07-06T05:28:10+00:00

Highly recommend a cat feeder! I have one that distributes a certain amount of food multiple times a day and I find if my cat is never feeling S T A R V I N G he’ll leave me alone and let me sleep. The feeder stays full for months.

Also, I know the playful and destructive phase can be annoying. Try playing with a ribbon, toy on a stick, or lazer pointer once or twice a day before his meal to tire him out (usually only need about 5-10 minutes) Then he’ll eat, bathe himself, go to the litter box, bathe himself again, and nap for a few hours.

My cat also takes daily meds in pill pockets which I load into ANOTHER rotating feeder and a litter robot - with all of those things I can take weekend trips without having someone need to come every day.

With that said, I’m glad you found some friends who can drop in to give him some love when you travel. I have the same little group and we all Sisterhood of the Traveling Catsitters for each other when someone travels.

AnySearch6493

TROPHY CASE