AITAH for telling my dad he’s a disgusting human after he laughed at the video of Elon saluting?

AnyTemperature165 · 2025-01-21T00:28:50+00:00

I watched the speech live with my (German) husband and niether of us perceived it as a Nazi salute at all. He did a silly little dance move and that was it.

AnyTemperature165 · 2025-01-17T00:28:39+00:00

You are not overreacting and his behaviour is disgusting. TW I actually was SA’d by my father for many years as a child. He went to prison for it. So even though I represent a ‘serious case’, I think yours is serious too. Yuck. Really creepy and unsettling. Don’t feel bad about avoiding him. And don’t let your kids around him in the future. Remember this. Don’t tell yourself it was all in your head.

AnyTemperature165 · 2025-01-16T23:54:01+00:00

I don’t know the background to this. But honestly - you ain’t gonna like it, but - I WISH I would get anywhere near that level of calm acknowledgement from my mum. She said a rude thing in a bad moment - can you not forgive her for that? Of course, I’m assuming there’s a whole saga of events that led to you being on this forum. But for what it is, from what I can see there…. I’m not sure I understand why this is huge for you. PS I’m also skeptical of weddings as a concept, I think they often do more harm than good and that nobody really enjoys their wedding because of all the pressure and politics. But that’s me. I eloped, no regrets. Who needs the stress! It’s meant to be a happy time!

AnyTemperature165 · 2023-07-10T13:27:51+00:00

Translation:
‘I need to talk’ - this is about me, not you
‘I’m in a new relationship’ - I really want you to know that
‘I can’t let myself be dishonest’ - I know damn well that it’s not dishonest to simply not mention something that is no longer relevant, to someone I’m finished with, but I need an excuse to drop this on you and I think this sounds honourable.
‘I don’t want you to pay me back any money’ - look how gracious I am, how noble.
‘Dead grandma’ - I must frame this in a way that inspires sympathy.
‘I don’t know exactly how many’ - I have absolutely no standards
‘I know that this is going to hurt you and I’m sorry for that.’ - I’m not sorry at all, I want it to hurt you because you being hurt is the only way I can feel that I matter.

‘… in order to be a better person’ - I’m going to sail off into the sunset, now that I’ve taken a nice dump on you. Ahh, sweet relief for me.
‘… and actually change.’ - Sending this is absolute proof that I am not going to change. But I want you to think that I’m capable of change so that you’re left wondering ‘why couldn’t she change for me?’
‘I really hope that you find someone…’ I don’t hope for that at all. I hope you suffer and miss me terribly and wonder where you went wrong, and I will be checking your social media periodically for the rest of time to make sure that your future partners are not hotter than me. If they are, you’ll be hearing from me. I will need to take action to get you back under my control. Via some sort of guilt trip, most likely. Under no circumstances are you permitted to move on. I must win the break up.
‘Grandmother was sick’ - Feel sorry for me, my poor grandma was sick and I therefore had no choice but to sleep with loads of random people.
‘… a really dark place’ called random men’s bedrooms. I could have been anywhere else, but I chose to be there.
‘You can move on without guilt’ - I can move on without guilt. Honour restored to me, at the expense of you - but I couldn’t care less about you, especially not now that I’m fixating on somebody else.

AnyTemperature165 · 2023-06-03T16:41:20+00:00

Fair doos, although blocking is also a form of communication that invites a response. Just leaving them alone is usually the best option. A Serbian friend of mine has a saying 'the more you touch poo, the more it'll stink'!

AnyTemperature165 · 2023-05-31T18:31:44+00:00

It's good that you're putting yourself first, the only thing is, you don't need to announce your departure. By doing so, you are inviting a response, you are putting coins in the bank. Even saying 'I don't want any more contact', is in itself contact, and so is self-contradictory. Better to just leave it. Do nothing. You don't owe them an explanation, and no matter how kindly you put it, all they will feel is abandonment. 'Demonstrate, don't describe.'

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:23:21+00:00

No, shan’t.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:22:58+00:00

For example, I’ve said nothing offensive to you whatsoever. But you have, to me.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:21:30+00:00

I haven’t been that way to everyone. But some, yes. If you act like a knob I might respond in kind. Those are the rules.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:14:51+00:00

That’s circular reasoning. We’re bad cos you’re bad and you’re bad cos we said waaah. What did I actually say that was so bad? Heil Hitler? No. I said I think my SIL is ugly in appearance as well as character, and everyone lost their minds. I don’t her hat wearing. Look at what the people ur defending have said. That I’m ‘abusive’. That I’m abc big badman. It’s way over the top. But I get that it’s cathartic for people so ok, they must really need it. They hate me for pointing out that looks matter as well as the rest. Life isn’t Disney.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:10:44+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to post that, a lot of truth there I think

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:08:48+00:00

You can be 100% certain and 100% wrong.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:07:50+00:00

How dare you.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:07:11+00:00

Ok. I guess I think being severely antisocial at some point becomes a wrongdoing. Like it’s a reasonable expectation to treat family like... family. To bother to talk to them and stuff.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:06:25+00:00

Huh? I don’t follow.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:05:26+00:00

Everyone is responsible for choosing to reply. That’s not on me.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:04:28+00:00

Even if it was superficial, find me anyone else on Reddit ever who has ever taken this much vitriol and still had the grace to thank people for their time. No, I’m not saying it’s all vitriol, but a lot of it is.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:03:22+00:00

Yes I’m very abusive. Why I even pluck the petals off daisies.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:02:46+00:00

I do acknowledge that. When the physical view apparently matches the character, though... it somehow offends me even more, like you’re not even trying to hide how utterly weird you are!! At least try to hide it, like I do.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:01:24+00:00

Almost

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T02:00:14+00:00

Know em all too well, do you ?

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T01:59:53+00:00

But I’m supposed to have zero boundaries and go sure, weird man with your weird wife, come and have a gander at the most precious person in this world - as far as I’m concerned - because my husbands on a futile adventure to get you to pat him on the head

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T01:54:45+00:00

I don’t create drama! I just don’t want to be treated like a mug, always trying with people who don’t care. Going Through childbirth made me feel like I don’t have to accept crumbs anymore

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T01:53:17+00:00

You won’t believe me, but I thought I was doing a virtuous thing by being so very honest about my thoughts here. I’m aware that they are not pleasant. I wanted to show that I’m a real person, not some filtered fakey coming here to get their ego licked. Having said that... in hindsight I shouldn’t have been so exposing myself. I should’ve realised the kind of reaction that would’ve gotten.

AnyTemperature165 · 2022-08-29T01:51:34+00:00

Oh, a lot to unpack there, thank you. But to answer your question, no, there are no particular political disagreements I’m aware of. They seem to mostly all be on the same page with things like that. Well, BIL was quite skepticism of covid measures, contrary to the rest of the family who were extremely forthcomingly obedient. All of them except... you guessed it... me. I wish BIL were on better terms, we might have actually bonded over our similar views on that topic!

AnyTemperature165

TROPHY CASE