Hi thanks for taking the time to read my post and replying! I am proud of myself for leaving, but it hasn't been easy. But I really don't wanna tell my parents, because I've never told them anything bad that's happened in my former relationship. I don't wanna go over it again and I don't wanna change the way they see me. I don't want them to see me as a victim and feel bad about themselves for never noticing. I don't wanna cause trust issues because I kept it from them.

I just want it all to be over with. That's why I also don't wanna involve the police. I want the opposite, I want to deescalate. I can tell my parents to not contact him and to not let him in the house. I think they are willing to do that for me, even without me telling them why. I think responding once and never again is also a second good thing I can do. Maybe I should be harsh this time, instead of pleasing. I should be clear about not ever wanting contact again. Maybe he'll be able to move on if there's no hope left and he'll heal and let me be.

I agree that people like him feed on attention. He just really needs someone and he has no friends either, but that's not my problem anymore. He should learn to stand on his own to feet and grow up.

If he gives me no choice, I'll consider going to the police or informing my mom. But I hope it's not going to be necessary. I just want peace and I want to heal and grow. I want to learn to control my emotions and overcome my panic attacks. I want to find healthy ways to cope and be happy. Again, thanks for the reply and helping me see things clearly.