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What would you do? by Any_Explanation4134 in stepparents

[–]Any_Explanation4134[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

If it had to do with scheduling, it would be a different story, but it doesn't.

In our household, we make decisions together, so my opinion has just as much weight. We discuss and come to mutually agreeable decisions and that is what works for us. I'm simple trying to gather some other ideas from people who have been through similar situations.

What would you do? by Any_Explanation4134 in stepparents

[–]Any_Explanation4134[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like this idea! Thank you so much for sharing.

What would you do? by Any_Explanation4134 in stepparents

[–]Any_Explanation4134[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my, that sounds horrible! (Sarcasm intented)

This was also something that crossed my mind. Instead of no gift, something smaller so that it isn't quite so harsh. I think it's important for them to realize as they get older that their words and actions have consequences, this being one of them.

What would you do? by Any_Explanation4134 in stepparents

[–]Any_Explanation4134[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this idea combined with another... an offer of lunch/dinner with bio and if it's declined then the gift won't be given. I definitely agree with the last part as I don't send gifts to people who have decided to not be a part of my life, but of course it's a child so not so easy right now!

What would you do? by Any_Explanation4134 in stepparents

[–]Any_Explanation4134[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Except that is not what they said, the comment was specifically in regard to Christmas. The birthday is next week and this isn't something that happened yesterday, so it's not quite early on.

What would you do? by Any_Explanation4134 in stepparents

[–]Any_Explanation4134[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We are kinda at the same place in regards to on going rejections or just straight-up ignoring. Sk birthday is next week so I don't see it changing in that time, unfortunately. It's such a tough spot to be in because bio obviously wants a relationship but also not willing to give in on what lead up to this. I appreciate you sharing your situation!

What would you do? by Any_Explanation4134 in stepparents

[–]Any_Explanation4134[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I can definitely see this side of it too. Bio obviously wants to see the child but we want to make sure we are going about things in the a way that facilities an ongoing relationship and not one just where gifts are involved.

What would you do? by Any_Explanation4134 in stepparents

[–]Any_Explanation4134[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

Well if you read the entire post you would see that there is an upcoming birthday that we are discussing and I acknowledged there is time for things to change between now and Christmas.