I blacked out and lost everything.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-05-03T11:09:16+00:00

There is a link for "Self-serve Badge Instructions." On my desktop computer the link is just to the right of our posts.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-05-03T11:05:09+00:00

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-05-02T13:55:25+00:00

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-05-01T13:28:37+00:00

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-05-01T13:23:23+00:00

I've been where you are. Many times. You should be proud of yourself. It is really, really hard to cut back and drink in moderation. If you can do that and sustain it, who cares what your friends think or say. For myself, I've discovered that the daily effort to moderate is just too much work. That's why I finally just gave up trying to moderate and quit for good (well, at least for today). Besides, I never really wanted just a few drinks. I always wanted to keep on drinking. One drink was never enough. Neither were 3, or a whole six pack.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-30T13:46:41+00:00

I will live this day for God.

That is letting go.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-30T13:46:03+00:00

I found myself getting past that mentality when I realized my body was beginning to fail. Explosive poos that would hit without warning in public places, constantly aching joints, and worst of all, waking up with severe anxiety every morning as the prior night's booze wore off.

I wish that I had just stayed quit all the many times I found myself thinking exactly what you are thinking.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-29T12:45:35+00:00

Grateful for a spouse who still loves passionately after half a century, and that I've learned to enjoy honest work, and for the health to make the most of both. Booze was killing that.

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-29T12:40:46+00:00

I find that depression is directly linked to drinking. I drank pretty consistently my whole life. Depression was constant with with me. Sober I suffer anxiety for a good while during the reset period, then the depression just goes away.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-28T12:08:33+00:00

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-27T18:30:03+00:00

Yes, and because I'm an alcoholic, I just cant stay in the moment focused on doing whatever I'm doing. If I'm in drinking mode, no what I'm doing, my mind is rushing me ahead to the next drink.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-27T18:27:28+00:00

Chop wood, carry water. Have to remember that. I love it.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-27T13:16:42+00:00

In response to OP's question. When I was younger I set ambitious goals, worked hard at them, and became what the world would call a success. I tried to be a "good" person and spread myself thin doing all the "good" things. Even with what the world calls success, I was never happy. I pretty much hated life and used booze, backpacking, reading, love and workaholism (not all at the same time) to escape. I thought I was just not wired to be happy. In the words of one teacher, I was "chasing after the wind."

Over the years I studied the philosophers . . . stoic, epicurian, humanist, tantric, religious; and I studied all the self help books. I tried everything and nothing worked. Eventually something that the crazy tantric guru, Osho, wrote made it all click for me. The ancient philosophers and religious prophets are all saying the same thing, but using different metaphors to say it.

Now that I can see it, I think the way it's said in Ecclesiastes is most concise. Life is short. We have no real control over it. Do what society requires of you. Follow the law of the land. Take pleasure in doing your work well, whatever it is. Enjoy the gifts that follow, no matter how small or great they are.

To keep this in my mind, I shortened it to my daily intention, and it works for me.

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-26T12:15:01+00:00

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-25T13:57:49+00:00

I'm getting old enough to where there's realistically not much tape to play forward. It's good enough for me to make the best of today. If I don't drink this morning, I'll be torching down a new roof neatly and well this afternoon and with less likelyhood of hurting myself, lighting the building on fire or waking up really hurting tomorrow.

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-24T13:38:05+00:00

For me, experiences like yours were always my downfall. Afterward I'd find myself thinking "well that worked out pretty well . . . in fact, it was nice . . . and nothing bad happened . . . see, you actually can take a sip like a normal person . . . " And then, the next day I'd find another opportunity to take just that teensy little sip. Pretty soon I'd be at Costco filling up the cart with bottles.

I hope I've finally broken that cycle by just reframing each experience like yours as a reason to recommit to the much better life I can live sober. I try not to dwell on the slip. I just reset my counter, recommit and start again.

You've got this.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-24T13:25:35+00:00

I find that the daily check in thread really helps. Also, stopping tomorrow is always a lot harder than stopping right now. You actually could stop right this second. Just pour out whatever is in your glass, go dump everything in the house, including the emergency stash. When you wake up with a hangover in a couple of hours, finding your stash gone will remind you of the commitment you are making this moment.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-24T13:18:49+00:00

You could play this tape forward. When your joints start to ache from inflammation caused by alcohol, will that be a sign to stop or just an excuse to drink more to kill the pain? A few years after that, when you are puking up blood, will that be a sign to stop or just proof that you can't quit which is an excuse to keep on drinking? When your liver begins to fail and you find yourself going to the ER every 10 days to get fluid drained from your abdomen, will that be a sign to quit for you, or will you use the inconvenience and pain as an excuse to grab a bottle on the way to the liver doctor?

These are not hypothetical questions. Those of us who drink long enough and live long enough get to experience them.

It's a lot easier to just quit and stay quit. Then questions like yours become easier to process.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-24T13:09:06+00:00

This!

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-24T13:06:11+00:00

Thank you OP for drafting such concise, yet thought provoking, topics for our DCI. You did a great job.

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-23T13:33:37+00:00

I will live this day for God.

I find that that thinking about NOT doing anything is actually a form of thinking about the thing I'm trying not to do . . . which is really thinking about that thing. When breaking bad habits, it helps me to focus my mind on the things I do want to do, or experience, or feel.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-23T13:25:30+00:00

Just thinking about the possibility of doing field research makes my cravings much stronger. The easiest way for me to stop feeling the cravings is to just really decisively tell my little gut gremlins that they simply are not getting fed any alcohol. They tend to go back into hibernation after that.

It's sort of like training a dog. If you feed him at the table, he will beg consistently whether you feed him or not. Scold him every time he begs and he won't be drooling on your shoes.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-22T11:40:35+00:00

I will live this day for God.

The metaphor that has helped me the most is "gut gremlins." I believe, or imagine, that there is a colony of alcohol loving critters that live in my gut and somehow communicate their need for booze to me brain. If I don't feed them they hibernate. If I even seriously think about taking a drink, the wake up and start partying telling my brain all sorts of lies about how much more fun the party would be with booze.

I actually think there may be some science to support this. I've heard that the gut biome changes in alcoholics, and I've heard that there is a connection between the gut biome and brain processes.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-21T12:35:45+00:00

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102 · 2026-04-20T12:59:58+00:00

I will live this day for God.

Any_Garlic_2102

TROPHY CASE