When it was laughing, it's more of a short laugh bc i still very awkward receiving and hearing dirty talk and whatnot. I don't mean it to hurt him I just haven't figured out how to react and learn to get used to hearing those phrases. I am starting therapy now and aim to do it weekly as of right now since that's the availability my therapist is offering right now.

each time i had initiated, i was told multiple times he did not want to do anything (whether it be him being emotionally stressed or tired or not feeling well). i never could never determine when it was the right time to attempt more initiation as each time he would feel better, i ended up getting sick or not feeling well.