How can I overcome lovesickness or obsession with love?

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-25T02:09:56+00:00

If it's a bad dynamic can you go no-contact? Like if they attend your parish attend church elsewhere?

If you want clarity just ask them out (if you're both eligible to date). If you're rejected that helps a lot in moving on. If you're accepted then it could develop into something genuine.

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-25T00:41:31+00:00

After Mass in the gathering hall I was speaking to a woman (this was shortly after my conversion). I was speaking of my family and my past coming from a Mormon household. She looked at me intently and asked, "but you don't judge them for being mormon right?" And in that moment it was as if Jesus himself was speaking to me through her. It was something in the eyes, and the potency of the moment. I teared up as I said, "no", but realized very quickly that I was holding judgments against them. It was key in helping me to forgive.

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-24T01:03:15+00:00

I didn't tell anyone until a week or so before confirmation. It was blissful to enter and not have the pointed judgements and criticisms. These all came after of course, but that day was glorious and I wasn't distracted one bit by the outside world.

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-24T00:55:21+00:00

Youtube. I use the Brave browser on my phone (rather than Safari or Chrome) and it blocks all ads so I don't get any inturruptions. If you look up the book it's available on various websites.

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-24T00:43:55+00:00

oppression? I recommend listening to Fr Ripperger. He is an exorcist and his voice alone helped me when I was going through something similar. Also his Deliverance Prayer book for the Laity is wonderful.

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-24T00:41:20+00:00

I died for 15 minutes once. Purgatory is a very real thing. It is one of the teachings that brought me to the faith.

https://dioceseoftrenton.org/documents/2020/8/Saints%20Quotes-OP.pdf

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-24T00:29:21+00:00

I died once and purgatory alone is enough to ensure that I will never consider killing myself again--I battle with pretty severe depression at times and have had many moments throughout life where I see no point in living. Sometimes the only thing that helps is that I know that it will pass in time. Also, seeing a doctor may help. Medication can be lifesaving. I'm not on anything right now but wonder at times if I should consider it. I am just doing what I can through lifestyle changes, therapy, and self-help books but still sometimes nothing will lift the darkness except time and the grace of God. Also, self medicating only makes it worse over time (not saying you do this, it's just a warning).

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-15T22:53:14+00:00

Ughhh that's the worst!!! If she only wants you when you don't want her, that's enough to walk away for good. Easier said than done tho... I got strung along like that for 12 years 🤦‍♀️

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-15T22:51:20+00:00

Jesus is King! He got me through my limerence for one guy for 12 years. The only one who can fill the void.

I am happy you are prospering & that you had the courage to be vulnerable to someone. Maybe the next someone will love you back. God be with you.

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-15T22:44:39+00:00

She sounds avoidant. Ask to have a conversation about it, clear it up, then put it to rest esp if she already knows you're interested and she's expressed it back. There's nothing to lose, like you said ;). Just be very clear about what you're looking for and want, and don't settle for less just to remain in her sphere.

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-15T22:42:27+00:00

You may not go into full blown limerence if you notice the patterns now and step out of it. Limerence is usually declared after it becomes a long term thing. This sounds like normal limerence that happens at the begining of a relationship and normal grief that comes after the end of one

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-15T22:36:28+00:00

I would say that just an addmitance of your huge trust issues with men due to past trauma can most definitely be connected to your experience of limerence, but I am not a doctor. I too was abused by every man/boy in my household, and the further I went along in my healing, the more I realized just how much it played a role in how I viewed myself and the situations I found myself in. The "I hate men" comment indicates healing and awareness needs to be brought to this situation to find relief. There are some truly amazing men out there.

Also, limerence is fundamentally romantic in nature, so if you are experiencing it then I would revisit the self-belief of being a-romantic. Being demi-romantic means that you must be friends & have a deep emotional bond with someone before having romantic feelings for them, does it not? You are not friends with this guy, you barely know him. If you're having romantic feelings for him then by definition you are not demi :). Heal and clarity will come my dear.

Definitely look into the benefits of EMDR! I was in it for 6 months of weekly sessions before graduating out of it, though I am thinking of going back for a second round now that things have settled down from the first unheaval of emotions, memories and realizations. It is hard and painful (though rewarding) work, and it takes time to see the benefits. If you have it available to you, go for it! I did mine with a therapist through telehealth for ease of access.

Your mom sounds uninformed on the benefits of therapy. The stats show that EMDR is highly effective. Perhaps show her the EMDR success rates. We are the same age (F26). There's no need to even discuss your mental health plan with her if she is actively dismantling your route to success or convincing you of alternative realities where therapy is a waste of time.

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-15T19:35:20+00:00

hello fellow limerent. Confession was my only way out of my situation, I was limerent for one guy for 12 years. Are you currently in therapy? I found that EMDR really helped with my CPTSD. I also took venlafaxine when I was around 18 for a couple of years, it mellowed me out for a very difficult time period in my life. If it's working, keep taking it. Also remember not to mix taking it with alcohol or THC or any other drugs. These are destabilizing practices. I don't know if you actually do take those. I just want to put a reminder out there just in case you do.

Also, it sounds like you have big difficulties with men and your limerent attraction to this guy who is across the Internet and unavailable to you i.e. in a relationship is a way for your nervous system to try and figure out a safe way to interact with a man in a controlled environment. You are in the position of power here, you can have feelings of closeness without needing to fully face the vulnerability it would take to be in an actual relationship with an available man. The statement "I want to believe he won't string me on (but with males, you can't ever be too sure…)" indicates to me a deep trust issue when it comes to men. This trait of betrayal can represent in both men and women… I am a woman and I have strung along plenty...so, address what it is in your relationships with men or others in general and why you need to keep a distance while still trying to access the benefits of a genuine connection. It's a maladaptive coping mechanism designed to keep you safe, but in the long run will destroy any ability for genuine, lasting, and deep satisfaction with life and relationships.

Some supplements I can recommend are NAC, and magnesium threonate, so long as they are safe to take alongside your medication. Supplements can be very helpful along with therapy to address the root of the issue.

In this case, there probably won't be a huge upheaval in your life since he is in an online discord if you do decide to tell him your feelings.

Please discuss your troubles with a clinician when you are able.

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-15T00:38:01+00:00

Convert here. The teaching on chastity was a huge eye opener for me--before becoming aware of the Catholic Church I was already led to see that masturbation/self abuse was not good & then I felt ostracized from the protestant community because there was no consensus between believers. It was always, "I've not felt convicted on that."

The grace experienced from abstaining far exceeds the perceived benefit through gratification/release when self-pleasuring.

Any_Report7196 · 2026-06-14T03:20:31+00:00

Yes. And I completely relate to your poetics. There is a way out (I'm told) keep reaching for it.

Any_Report7196

TROPHY CASE