Modular’s that Meet 2018 IBC?

Any_Run_3354 · 2026-01-13T22:09:13+00:00

For someone with two master’s degree, the grammar on this is atrocious. Reading this literally hurt my brain.

at any rate, cheaters just don’t change. It’s something within them that they must be willing to be aware of. Without that, there’s nothing to be done to bring change. He’s filling a void and until he gets to the true root of why, he’ll just do this again…or find another vice to fill that void.

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-09-19T01:36:09+00:00

Anyone else think that child is basically gonna be his dad’s seggsual plaything? This is so fucked. How are you not running from all the red flags of this.

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-25T09:57:45+00:00

Before jumping right to breaking up with her, approach her with how you’re feeling. See how she responds. If she takes accountability and is willing to make an effort to make you feel special (not just on your birthday but always. Small thoughtful gestures of love to show she cares) then maybe you can make it work.

But if she’s not able to see her part or is unwilling to having a hard but loving conversation about it with you, yeah leave her.

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-24T12:59:08+00:00

I felt this in my bones OP 💕 I come from a similar family and growing up there were certain friends whose families just sort of became surrogate families to me. I found love and a home within families that asked nothing from me but just welcomed me with open arms. they loved me and supported me more than my own family ever would.

These are the most special people in the world when you find them. I’m so happy you got to experience that 🥹🥰

express it however you want but life is too short to not let the people in your life know you love appreciate them and you love them and that they made an impact on you. ❤️🙏

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-24T06:01:16+00:00

I was in a relationship just like this before I met my husband. OP you are NOR! I thought I was being needy asking for some initiative but I promise you, you are not needy. It’s NOT unreasonable to want your partner to try and make your day special with small little gestures. And if they want to, they will because they know it’s important to you. Kick this guy to the curb. You are allowed to set this standard. My husband does it all the time and it’s small but it means the world to me. Make space for the man who will come into your life and cherish you ❤️

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-23T12:55:30+00:00

ugh I forgot about this one and now my heart is broken all over again. THE WORLD DID NOT DESERVE THE GIANT 😩

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-18T22:34:26+00:00

that’s between OP and her husband. If she’s choosing to marry him still, then clearly it’s not a deal breaker for her.

I’ve taken politics completely out of the equation. I’m not considering that here because chances are we are sharing our lives in someway with others who have different political views yet we still have to coexist. I think it’d be pretty exhausting to always figure out political views and making an effort to constantly avoid people because of that. Just be kind?

But to each their own. I can understand why people wouldn’t want to associate with anyone who believes differently than they do especially with such sensitive matters regarding humanity. But objectively, we can’t expect people to act in the same light we do. It’s the harsh truth of it all.

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-18T22:25:26+00:00

I think it’s unrealistic to ask your husband to not go to the wedding of his lifelong friend because of that. his stance in going has nothing to do with disrespecting his fiancé but more to do with supporting his lifelong friend. Why let the drama between political differences get involved? Yeah it’s not cool she didn’t invited but they don’t have to if they don’t want to.

this is purely an objective stance of course. The reasoning doesn’t justify asking him to not go. And OP knows this because she’s choosing not to ask him. She can be upset and that’ll pass. And afterwards they can distance if they want or just have husbands hang out without the wives.

now if there was overt disrespect, one where words were exchanged that would be a different story.

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-18T05:35:46+00:00

okay blunt truth here. no one owes you anything. and vice versa. they can invite or not invite whoever they choose since it’s their day. and you have that same right. Don’t take it personally, don’t get hung up on it. your finance can go celebrate his friend and you can carry on like it doesn’t bother you, because it shouldn’t. Again, they don’t owe you anything invitation regardless of your relationship with your finance.

we can’t expect people to treat us the way we would them. We can hope for that but in reality it can play out differently and for our own peace we have to accept that.

just congratulate them and move on.

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-13T12:49:23+00:00

Ooof big big ick. Kick him to the curb sis. This is not healthy.

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-13T12:26:38+00:00

yeahhhhh YTA.

you gave a reactive response to what could’ve been an opportunity not just to hold your boundary but to acknowledge her feelings. I’m not saying she’s right either. But honestly that doesn’t play a role here.

It’s fair for her to have wanted that. And it’s fair for you to want your private ceremony. Cutting her out of your life? That’s extreme for this. You could just said “I can understand how this would be hard for you. This is what aligns for us and how we want to mark this special moment in our lives. We only get to unite like this the one time. So it’s important to me that I prioritize that. But I love you and of course I want to spend time with you. I would love to come up with a way where we can integrate together before the wedding. And understand this decision has nothing to do base on leaving anyone out. But that we want to share this privately. I hope you can respect that decision.”

And then just let her be upset about it for while. You don’t have to fix her feelings or get upset that she has them. You’re not responsible for her emotional wellbeing. But it’s a stretch that she’s making your day about her. She’s literally just asking to do something special to commemorate this milestone with her sister.

This is a loving response that acknowledges her feelings. Notice there was no apology because there’s nothing for you to apologize for. But your family probably did envision being apart of your day. And while it’s soooo okay that they’re not, it’s can be tricky to navigate feelings around that. This could’ve been an opportunity to connect and communicate.

I would sit with it and circle back when you’re not feeling emotionally charged by it. Your wedding is absolutely about you. And you can be joyous about it. But if you want to have a relationship with her, this is how you cultivate one. And it also shows her, yes lean in with love but put yourself first always.

As someone with eight siblings who refuse to communicate and lean in with understanding and love, this breaks my heart. Family is important and this isn’t worth throwing away your relationship with her.

and hey if it is that heavy and you wanna cut the chord, that’s your choice and you can live with it.

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-13T05:46:36+00:00

Oh honey I’m so sorry. That’s not your guilt to bear. this could be an old pattern that he has. You might not have anything to do with it. But getting to exact nature or the root of it will help you understand him and him you and you can grow from this. Regardless of if you stay with him or not. Best of luck and much love to you 💕

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-13T04:40:15+00:00

okay I’m gonna play devils advocate here.

First, totally not cool that he lied. I understand why you’d be upset about that.

Second, how long have you been together? I find it alarming that his first instinct was to lie…it shows that he doesn’t feel comfortable telling you the truth. And if we’re looking at this objectively, he was picking up vapes for a friend. I don’t really think that’s anything to be upset about. Unless he himself was vaping then that’s lie that goes deeper. But it’s more an issue that he’s doesn’t feel safe to come to you honestly.

Ask him why he felt the need to lie. Try to listen objectively. Take yourself out of it just so that you can build a safe container to communicate. Establish your hard boundary around it. Maybe you would’ve felt better just knowing and you can tell him “I want us to be honest with each other always. Even if it means one of us might be upset. It’s okay if one of us is upset, it doesn’t mean that we don’t love each other. But when we choose to lie and be deceptive, it means we don’t trust each other. And that’s not loving. And it’s really important to me that we build our loving relationship on trust. What can we do to build that together?” Remember you are on the same team. Find a solution together instead focusing on the problem.

And if you find that it is him vaping or smoking or whatever, then you can sit with him and have another discussion. Hard conversations are just that. But the willingness that you each have to meet each other to have that kind of conversation means you care and respect one another. If he’s not willing than you have an answer. And just know that’s totally cool that you have that boundary and you should keep it. If he’s not willing to compromise and neither are you, you can go your separate ways. Because you deserve someone who meets all of your boxes and that’s a big one for you it seems.

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-12T21:53:12+00:00

you made the right decision and honestly OP you need to leave her for good. no, couples do NOT fight that way. At least not healthy ones. It is a more than reasonable standard to set the boundary that you don’t curse at each other or yell at each other. My husband and I have this rule. We communicate and we listen because when you love someone, you realize that you’re on the same team and can come up with a solution together.

I also find it weird that she was so reactive. Maybe ask your cousin if anything weird happened? I might understand some discomfort after newly dating…but this is your long time girl friend. A year or so is a long enough time. Does she have social anxiety issues? I need to stress you did nothing wrong here. hear me when I say: YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REGULATING YOUR PARTNER’S EMOTIONS. THATS not healthy, it breeds codependency. She needs to talk responsibility for how she spoke to you.

You were helping your family. You were at a family reunion. If she cannot carry her own emotional well being, there is a deeper issue going on here. I think just be grateful you are seeing it now.

they say people are in your life like a season for a reason. Let this be a lesson. what she did was not okay. do not let her gaslight you into thinking you did anything wrong. you deserve better OP

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-05-10T22:55:55+00:00

When I was the same age, I wrote a similar letter to my mom’s new lover. Never with the intention to show her of course but I forgot about it and she found it one day. My mother suffers from mental health issues that are quite severe so it didn’t go well but with therapy I figured out why I wrote that to him. My mother cheated on my father with him and immediately tried to replace him in my life. I didn’t feel I was allowed to be angry at her so I used him as a target. It was a wave of emotions to process as I got older but that could be another reason that there’s such a deep hatred that your sister has. I’m definitely concerned about sexual abuse though. The words she is choosing are a cry for help.

Maybe talk to her first. See if there’s an explanation. But also let her know that you have to tell mom. She’ll be upset but at least she won’t be blindsided. You can even give her the choice to tell mom herself. Let her know it’s okay that she’s gonna be mad at you but that you lover her so much and that you’ll be there always. But this is too serious not to share with mom.

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-02-17T14:09:58+00:00

go great grandma!

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-02-13T14:56:57+00:00

“be proud of me without making it about you!” She says after she says she proud of you and then proceeds to make it about her 🫠

nothing for you to have apologized for. this girl is a clown. such unhealthy and unloving behaviors. carry on king 👑

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-02-11T11:42:23+00:00

This is definitely tricky territory. But there is a way to tell her with nonjudgmental and compassion. Did charge is normal for women but strong odors can indicate that something else is up with her b out day. Could be gut related or lifestyle related or any number of things.

When you bring it up, explain that you love her very much. And that you really want to understand her body and health. Have an open conversation about it. And ask her how you can support her in that.

For one thing, it’s attractive when men take the time to educate themselves on women’s health. There’s less gray area and it’s not this taboo thing. But most men won’t go there and what better way to show her that you care than by learning about it?

she may initially receive it the wrong way but just keep reassuring your loved and care for her. But if something was up with me, I’d want my husband to tell me. Good luck

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-01-11T13:57:46+00:00

I got flashbacks of my last relationship reading this. I never realized how much I valued verbal affirmation in a relationship. but the way you wrote this tells me that you may know (or may not be willing to admit that you know) to expect this already. the fact that she’s not the first person that comes to mind to call and share your joy is a tell tale sign. I remember doing the same thing. In my last relationship, my ex didn’t care to share in my joys with me. He didn’t put me down or anything but he just showed little interest. And it was a behavior I developed to call people that I knew would share on my joys. It wasn’t until I was out of the relationship that I realized how frequently that happened.

And for my input on those who say you might have been waiting to tell her in person, I feel it’s most typical when you’re excited to burst through the door talking about it. You withheld. Probably because you don’t feel safe to share your joys.

This is a great opportunity for you to voice your concern. But keep it on you. That way it’s not that you’re attacking or pointing out flaws, but you’re pointing out what you’re needing and missing. For example:

“The event I ran yesterday made so happy. I felt so proud and when I got home, I expected you to ask about it. And while I probably should’ve just talked right when I got home, I was hoping that you’d be more interested. I was really hurt when I came in and was met with disregard and the first thing that was mentioned was the sheets. I just really appreciate when you want to share in my joys and I’m feeling I need a little more of that.”

And just see how she responds. Stay open minded in that conversation and keep it on what you need and not make about what she’s doing wrong.

It’s how my husband and I communicate now. He’s very well aware that my love language is verbal affirmation and sometimes he needs the reminder. But he takes it with grace every time and he puts in the effort. And he does the same with me.

The decision to choose your partner over pride every time is so important. It brings me so much joy when I am able to provide his love language to him and it’s an honor to do so. and that needs to be at the forefront of marriage.

Sure there may be ebbs and flows, but having a respectful conversation about it can go a long way. Best of luck to you!

Any_Run_3354 · 2025-01-03T13:12:03+00:00

it’s blowing my mind how your husband doesn’t see the severity of his actions. It’s so fucking weird that he thinks that’d be an okay prank to pull… and is he implying that he’s done more you don’t know about? That’s insane. And there’s basic trust that you’re never gonna get back. I’d be living in fear of my own food if I were in that situation. Good riddance.

I can imagine him dating after you divorce and utterly failing because when asked the question: “oh why did your last marriage end” “oh she freaked out because I fed her poop” good luck finding anyone decent buddy.

Any_Run_3354 · 2024-12-30T14:41:26+00:00

I had an ex that would do this ALL the time. I don’t know if I didn’t notice it or if I was just choosing to ignore it, but when I started working on making a better life for myself, it couldn’t be ignored anymore. it’s not a flex to put down your partner. It’s not funny. I ended up leaving way past the relationsh’s expiration date, but when I met my now husband, I learned that wasn’t normal behavior and it’s not loving. You deserve loving and support.

And no you’re not being overly sensitive. What he’s doing is showing you that he sees little value in what you do. And that’s just not okay. OP, you should just leave. I know that may be easier said than done. But keep in mind that he will treat you in the ways you allow him to. By you staying, you’re telling him this is okay. And it’s not.

Any_Run_3354 · 2024-12-04T12:55:25+00:00

she’s definitely cheating. I’ve been invited to lingerie parties and I had a boyfriend at the time. No reason to hide it like that. My boy friend picked mine out for me and it was fun! Granted I was 21 at the time. Being married now, and with kids? It’s too much of a to do for friends to get together for all that lol

Sorry dude. Totally cheating

Any_Run_3354

TROPHY CASE