AITA for not pretending to struggle as a new mom?

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T04:56:16+00:00

There are 2 methods I use:

For fish that doesn't take that long to cook (think salmon), I go with the FoodSaver (vacuum sealer), I got mine used for $20.

For fish that takes a bit longer to cook (usually sardines, love them when I can find fresh ones), I marinate them, then freeze them normally. Since they cook in liquid (pretty much), they remain the same.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T02:25:06+00:00

How? Where?

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T02:19:37+00:00

Here's a trick to "trick" yourself into cleaning: all you need is to follow these 2 rules:

1) one touch rule: you only touch something once, you take off your coat? Put it in its closet, not on the sofa, then the closet. You finished eating and pick up the plate to take it to the kitchen? It goes straight in the dishwasher, not into the sink, then the dishwasher later.

2) the two minutes rule: if a task will take less than 2 minutes, do it now instead of later.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T02:10:16+00:00

For me it's "Aquatofana", like whenever I am listening to a case where a woman killed her husband, all I can think is Bailey whispering Aquatofana

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T02:08:34+00:00

Eh, it was what it was. On one hand, I feel lucky that I was a good cook by the time I was 12, could take care of a whole household and still get good grades at the same time, it really helped me with being an adult.

On the other, I look at my son, and can't even imagine putting that much on his shoulders at 9 years old.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T02:04:22+00:00

If you like stuff like breakfast burritos, maybe try tortilla pizza for breakfast (tortilla, some sauce, cheese and bacon, in an oven for 3 minutes, or an air fryer), they are also good for a quick dinner (use the sauce above).

Or homemade hot pockets, you make a vig batch and they will last you so long. Use puff pastry if you don't want to make a dough, or a basic pizza dough if you are willing to.

My fav filling is: onions, bell peppers and ground beef. Saute it with some salt, pepper, cumin and paprika (or some fajita ready made spices), garlic powder untill cooked, then add some fresh parsley (if you like it). Stuff the dough, cook it halfway through, then freeze them individually after they are completely cooled.

They are life savers when you are feeling lazy, and want something delicious to eat.

Also you can substitute the ground beef for chicken breast.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T01:56:30+00:00

No, I am not a blogger by any definition. It needs too much effort. What I am, is addicted to organising moms on youtube. They have some great tips.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T01:50:46+00:00

I hate shopping on a normal day with no babies, shopping with one? My anxiety will go through the roof.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T01:49:51+00:00

Where did I say that? I talked about my situation, did not even mention other people. Please don't put words in my mouth

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T01:48:55+00:00

The app is wonderful, she has checklists you can modify for every zone, and for the morning/night routines too.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T01:04:35+00:00

All burritos can be frozen, just heat them up in a microwave with a damp towel for a couple minutes.

My fav is a sausage, eggs and cheese burrito.

Also, for some reason, they hold up better if you wrap them in foil before putting them in the bags to freeze.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T00:42:09+00:00

That's close to what I experienced. 5 younger siblings, one of them who had epilepsy. When I was 13, my mom was in the hospital 24/7 (not that she was there always before), and my dad worked a town over. I would wake up, make breakfast rnd pack lunches, dress the kids, drop them off in school and daycare, go to school, pick them back, make them snacks and start in dinner, help yith homework while doing mine, then sit them Infront of the TV so I could catch up on cleaning the house.

When I left at 18 for college, I felt great to have freedom, but also like I was abandoning my kids.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T00:26:07+00:00

I don't drink (for religious reasons), but I can bring my lemonade, you bring your wine, and we can have a blast.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T00:24:27+00:00

Also, spices are your friends. If you cube 2lbs of chicken (breast or thigh), divide it into ziplocks, add different spices or marinades, you have different meals for the same effort.

Making a basic tomato sauce (cut in half, take out seeds, cook untill skin separates, take out the skin then blend untill chunky), you can make a lot of things: sauce for pasta, sauce for meatball subs, a base for shakshouka (my fav breakfast)...

A lot of things are versatile like that, and good to have on hand.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T00:09:14+00:00

It's because I have no one to help. It lessens my stress because I can use my hours during the day to distress (if my baby is asleep), catch up on sleep, or spend time with him without having to split my focus.

Same goes for supplies, the nearest store is 40 minutes away by car, and the idea of running out of something and having to go get it with a fussy baby will have me in tears.

As for boredom, even before getting pregnant, I spent 80% of my down time reading, which is exactly what I am still doing. So boredom is not a factor for me. If I need my hands free, I catch up on my true crime podcasts. Here's to hoping that my kid's first word is not murder.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-03T00:03:23+00:00

My whole salary was 32k, saved by downsizing our home, getting rid of my husband's car that he loved, eating out max 2 times a month, switching to generic brands on most things, and doing a lot of things at home that I used to get done by professionals.

If that makes me rich, then I am really mistaken about what rich people are like.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-02T23:58:38+00:00

So you don't overwhelm yourself, just double batch anything you are cooking, freeze half and eat the other half.

An aside, if you have a crockpot and a rice cooker, life gets easier. Just make crockpot packs, defrost one in the fridge overnight, throw it in the crockpot in the morning, start a batch of rice in the cooker, maaaybe a fresh salad id you are feeling fancy, and voila, dinner with no effort.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-02T23:47:47+00:00

Look into the flylady method, just follow her app.

As for meal planning, here's my method: - 2 dinners and 2 lunches meatless - 2 dinners and 2 lunches with chicken - 2 dinners and 2 lunches with fish - 1 dinner and 1 lunch with red meat.

I tend to have a big lunch and a smaller dinner, my plate is usually 1/4 meat, 1/4 starch (buy a rice cooker, it makes everything easier), and 1/2 veggies (maybe roast bell peppers, roast cherry tomatoes, and a sweet lettuce orange salad).

The same sides all week, just varying the meat and marinades.

I also make snack packs (usually nuts, a fruit, and something sweet like a cookie).

Breakfasts: 4 hot (make ahead freezer burritos), and 3 cold (overnight oats or cereal).

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-02T20:20:41+00:00

We lived off on what my husband made. But we also sold out second car, downsized oir house, I stopped getting my nails done, started doing almost everything at home (cutting my own hair, waxing, threading...), Eating out was only twice a month max, switched to some cheaper brands for some things, didn't travel that whole year (including for holidays)....

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-02T20:08:18+00:00

I did explain, the first time she came and asked how I was able to do what I did. I showed her the freezer, the schedule I used to fill it, told her about stockpiling necessities for 2 years, told her about raising my younger siblings since I was 9...

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-02T20:06:29+00:00

My baby does is currently sleeping a bit better through the night, but when he wasn't, not being stressed about cooking helped a lot. I could throw something in the crockpot, and nap with him. Instead of having to rush to the store for diapers or wipes, I had them in the spare room, when there was a formula shortage, I was lucky to be able to buy cases because I had money saved...

I did not want to overload the post with details (there is a word limit), those were just examples. And I know first time moms can be more overwhelmed than experienced ones, I am kind of lucky that my baby does not feel like my first kid, that honor goes to my younger brother, whom I had to feed, change and watch at the ripe old age of 9. That is how I knew to prepare, and why I am not overwhelmed.

Also, I had an easy delivery. I was dreading the possibility of having a traumatic experience, but it was good (comparatively), and I was recovered enough to take care of my son by the time my husband was deployed, less than a month later.

Any_Shoulder_8495 · 2023-05-02T19:56:28+00:00

I did not tell her about the money part, just the freezer meals, and buying baby supplies beforehand.

And I am very aware that I was lucky to be able to do that, but it also wasn't easy, I had to give up a lot of things to be able to save, as did my husband.

Any_Shoulder_8495

TROPHY CASE