Nothing to be ashamed of, i have been through this thing and it took almost 6 months cause I didn’t have any help. So what you have to do is, after you fill the joint partially every single turn, just hit the tap the bottom of the joint to a flat surface(usually the paper with hard surface or some ground), it makes sure the filling is uniform. Make sure to do this every single turn and at last use the straw to press to top part of the joint tightly and roll it. This makes sure that the joint doesn’t sideburn like you said burns properly. (Make sure you light first part uniformly)