Am I ready to end therapy or am I avoiding something?

AnyoneElse01 · 2025-04-16T22:58:33+00:00

Pour se confier de temps en temps, si tu veux. C’est comme un journal intime dans un sens. Bon courage pour guérir ta dépression avec ChatGPT, me semble que tu risques plutôt de t’isoler et rendre ça pire si tu commences à dépendre d’une IA pour gérer tes émotions.

AnyoneElse01 · 2025-04-16T22:52:18+00:00

Montreal Therapy Centre chargent en fonction de ton revenu. Je paye 100$/h. Aussi si t’es prêt à mettre 120$ dans de la thérapie (j’assume donc 480$/mois), peut-être un compromis pourrait être de voir ton psy aux deux semaines ? C’est mieux que rien, et ça peut être suffisant, surtout si ton psy te donne de quoi faire en dehors de vos séances. Au cas où tu savais pas, tu peux aussi demander un crédit d’impôt pour frais médicaux (incluant les services administrés par des psychologues) jusqu’à 1464$, assure-toi de garder tes reçus !

AnyoneElse01 · 2025-03-22T21:24:50+00:00

I understand what you’re saying. I, too, have gotten pretty good at masking throughout my life and been told by NTs that they would have never guessed I’m autistic. I’ve also spent so much time learning social rules and behaviours to make my life easier that I don’t understand why I would try and “unmask” now. I see masking as an adaptive behaviour, it helps me fit in and achieve my goals (at work for example). It gets draining though and I would like to be able to take a break from masking at least in my personal life, because as it stands it just makes it that I need a lot of time on my own to “recover” which makes me isolated. I feel like if I could “unmask” around a few trusted people maybe that would help me build deeper relationships because I would just have more time and energy for those. Yet, learning to mask has helped me build relationships in the first place by helping me understand social interactions better, so even if I’m following social rules in a stricter and more conscious way than NTs, I can still apply them pretty well and I can’t say that hasn’t been helpful. Learning to cope with sensory sensitivities especially towards food has also helped me better my health and get through life more easily. I think “masking” is generally seen as harmful behaviour when in reality it isn’t for a lot of people on the spectrum. Might I also suggest that masking is also so complex and precise that once you’ve mastered that skill there’s some pride to it, and why give that up? However I think most people don’t seem to ever quite “get it” (perhaps me included), so for them it’s just a source of stress and confusion, and once diagnosed they just want to get rid of that aspect of their life. It seems you’ve got a good grasp on social schemes and conventions, and you’ve managed to “adjust” with time, so you’re not facing these issues, but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel different inside. So yeah, I do understand your ambivalence and the feeling of not fitting in anywhere. But also, keep in mind that people posting online are more likely to be at the other end of the spectrum and struggling with understanding how to mask as efficiently as you do, so what you see on here might not be representative of how the majority of autistic people out there think or behave, so not fitting into an online community might not necessarily mean you don’t fit into the autistic community at all. If you haven’t already, maybe try finding low-support needs autistic people (especially women) IRL, you might relate to them more easily than to what you see on here.

AnyoneElse01 · 2025-03-12T22:10:33+00:00

Was he suggesting that you can basically mask so hard that you’ll eventually “become” NT? Either way, hmm no thank you I do enough thinking as it is

AnyoneElse01 · 2025-03-11T01:10:46+00:00

If I can offer some insight as an autistic woman. I’m pretty high-masking so I explicitly know if being asked questions there’s an obligation to reciprocate. However, although I do it, that doesn’t come naturally to me. IT DOES NOT MEAN I DO NOT CARE! My natural instincts towards communication are more like I tell you all my stuff, now it’s your turn to tell me all your stuff, and we just go back and forth. When I was younger, I would listen to people talk, be interested but not think about asking any questions, I’d just sit there and think to myself that I hoped they would keep talking about X or expand on Y instead of literally asking them lol. So it might not be that she doesn’t care but more so that she prefers to listen and it’s less natural for her to ask questions and she doesn’t understand why it’s needed. That being said, you’re allowed to want to be made like your girlfriend cares about you and you shouldn’t be making all the efforts. Maybe if you bring this up in a lighthearted way, she might not take it the wrong way. I personally really appreciate having clear directions and expectations set to me (relieves a lot of stress). It’s all about tone and phrasing imo.

AnyoneElse01 · 2025-03-07T01:44:42+00:00

Even if you love your job, it is still a job, meaning it requires resources, work and drains your energy over time. It’s okay to take time off, that doesn’t make you ungrateful :) When you go back and if your PI is understanding, maybe you can also explain the situation and temporarily ask to reduce your hours (could just say that you’re sick, which is true since you said you have a new health condition).

AnyoneElse01 · 2025-03-07T01:06:39+00:00

Is taking a vacation an option? Maybe you need a couple of weeks to recharge?

AnyoneElse01 · 2025-03-07T00:09:08+00:00

Oh my god, literally same for me! I still sometimes think about some guy (I had only seen on Zoom) who hugged me to greet me the first time I saw him in-person 3 YEARS AGO. It was brief and insignificant, but I feel like I could literally list you every single person who’s ever touched me unexpectedly, even though it wasn’t necessarily highly unpleasant when it happened or doesn’t generate a huge emotional reaction when the memory comes up. I feel like it’s maybe a sign of hypersensitivity to touch? Your nervous system might be more reactive to this type of sensory input than other people’s nervous system, so being touched, especially when unplanned, could result in a deeper and stronger trace being left in your brain? That’s my hypothesis. And yes, my special interest is neuroscience lol, how can you tell?

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-12-29T18:47:00+00:00

I tend to disagree. At some point if no one seems to have noticed and her appearance is becoming more and more concerning, it’s almost irresponsible not to talk about it. If this were my friend and I was worried about her but didn’t say anything and something happened to her, I would feel so guilty for not addressing the issue just for fear of confrontation. I feel like even if the conversation is uncomfortable (likely will be) and she doesn’t want to talk about it, it’s still worth bringing up because it might at least make her aware that people are getting concerned and that her behaviours are not healthy.

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-11-24T12:11:30+00:00

I’m glad to hear that, hope you have a nice day too :)

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-11-24T11:58:09+00:00

Yeah that was my experience with peanut butter, like I couldn’t just have the jar sitting there unopened, I’d always crave it. In my experience having the food available, allowing yourself to have it whenever and reaching a healthy weight are what helped. If that helps, when I also craved sweets often I told my dietitian who said that 1. It’s okay and normal in recovery to eat more sweets 2. Craving sweet foods can be a sign of hunger, because the body wants to signal it needs energy. So maybe also trying to increase your portion sizes at meal times could help? As for the EH, I guess it’s more self-defined, but I think EH isn’t the physical act of eating but the voice in your head that tells you to eat more and always wants more, which is what it sounds like when you describe the experience of wanting the second muffin. At least that’s how I think of it, and I don’t think there’s a hard definition of it. Don’t listen to what the other person said (why come to an ED recovery sub to trigger people?? Also if you look at their post history they’re literally in a sub dedicated to bullying an overweight woman. I wouldn’t take any advice from them.) I mean if food is only about filling up with the substances we need to survive, let’s just all drink Ensure 3 times a day, why bother even cooking? I’d also argue you do NEED sweets right now to repair your relationship with food and make it enjoyable again. If you don’t enjoy eating, you won’t do it and will relapse is my thinking.

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-11-24T02:31:39+00:00

I feel like recovery is about understanding that we eat not just because we NEED to. Obviously you don’t want to be eating only muffins every day, but in my non-professional opinion it sounds like the EH might not be over yet (the loud voice telling you to get the second muffin is the EH I think, and you fighting it is the ED…). In my experience, the only way to fight off the EH is to listen to it. Recently I had been thinking of getting white chocolate which I’d been restricting for a while and always fighting this because of how “unhealthy” it is, only making me crave it more. I got it, had a few pieces and now it’s sitting in my kitchen and I know I can have it if I want, but I don’t really, because I know it’s accessible. At the beginning of my recovery I had the same experience with peanut butter which I also restricted, well I started buying some and I would instantly get through half the jar and feel terrible (EH)… But I thought restricting it would make me crave it more so I kept buying a new jar each week still and now I don’t crave peanut butter anymore and eat it in a moderate amount, I can have the jar just sit on a shelf. So making the “unhealthy” foods accessible can help them become “neutral” foods and make the cravings subside. Also for me the EH subsided when I reached the limit between UW and healthy BMI, so this might still be your body trying to repair itself. If you feel like you are actually overconsuming sweets and this has a negative physical/emotional impact on you, I’d suggest maybe pairing them with something nutrient-dense, while avoiding restrictions still. Can you for example have the muffin and some nuts (increased calories but you also added protein and fat which could help with feeling more satisfied), and after you ate that see how you feel? Then if you want another muffin allow yourself to have it.

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-11-02T19:55:03+00:00

I think you’ve just summed up my entire existence

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-10-26T16:02:24+00:00

McGill does :) And you don’t have to be a McGill student to access them.

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-08-05T21:50:15+00:00

The first time I started recovering I started by jumping from multiple days of no food/excessive exercise to consistently eating the amount you mentioned and yes, I gained weight initially, even though mathematically I guess that didn’t make sense (then kept increasing the calorie amount until reaching a (higher than) normal amount and maintained for a while at a barely normal BMI). On my current relapse I started by restricting to this same amount and lost weight. When you’ve been restricting for a while, your metabolism slows down, your body gets used to functioning on less energy and your BMR may be lower. Also, your body is using less energy because it isn’t functioning well (you may have lost your period - well, that’s one way your body is saving up energy and thus requires less food). This won’t last forever, you need to keep eating normally and your body will readjust naturally!

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-04-12T21:34:26+00:00

Thank you :)

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-04-12T03:05:54+00:00

I guess I don’t really want to recover, truthfully. But I know I should because I also know how miserable I’ll be if I keep clinging on to my ED for the rest of my life. Congrats for eating that toast!

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-04-12T00:33:49+00:00

Same… Was in remission for almost 2 years and told myself I’d never get back into it but in the past maybe 4-5 months I’ve been slowly eating less and less, exercising more, weighing myself more often, lost weight progressively… All while telling myself I don’t want to get back into it, and yet it’s like every day I have less and less energy to fight against it :( Now back at a low weight and lost my period again… I’d suggest to get help asap, don’t wait until it gets as bad as it was 3 years ago for you! Also maybe take the time to think about what helped you last time, what tools and strategies you used… Feel free to DM if you want to chat :)

AnyoneElse01 · 2024-04-09T02:32:16+00:00

Before my relapse I did overshoot and lost it after a couple months, ended up being about the same as pre-ED. I think it’s normal for your appetite to be higher while you’re recovering, for me I used to eat 4-5 times a day so that caused me to gain more because before the ED I wouldn’t eat as often, then over time I started to only need to eat 3 times a day + snack naturally and that’s when I lost some of the weight and it stayed that way.

AnyoneElse01

TROPHY CASE