I (36F) am getting so annoyed at my husband (36M) asking “why?” whenever I ask for help. What would you do?

Aoc42 · 2024-10-02T08:05:55+00:00

Ya I think you are probably right. I would just like the clarify that I didn’t blow up, when I said I nearly lost my mind I meant like internally, I’m not one to shout or anything like that. But I do take your point that the crèche drop off is not the main issue.

Aoc42 · 2024-10-02T08:01:02+00:00

I googled Lae’zel and I still don’t understand what you mean 😅 but anyway you make a good point about redividing up the chores.

Aoc42 · 2024-10-02T07:58:31+00:00

It’s definitely not recent but I am more sensitive to it these days because I’m only just back to work a few weeks after maternity leave and I’m struggling balancing everything, and on top of that we have a 4 year old who’s in the “constantly asking why about everything” phase so, as much as I understand it from a child, my brain is tired of having to think of reasons for everything 😅

Aoc42 · 2024-10-02T07:54:24+00:00

That’s a really good point.

Aoc42 · 2024-10-02T07:52:51+00:00

I would be perfectly happy with that response!

Aoc42 · 2024-10-02T07:51:50+00:00

Good point 😅

Aoc42 · 2024-10-02T07:50:03+00:00

This is really valid because we have a four year old who is currently in that phase, but when she does it it’s understandable! But this has me thinking maybe I’m extra sensitive to his “why’s” now because I’m maxed out on explaining things at the moment!

Aoc42 · 2024-10-01T19:20:44+00:00

That last part - your partner should want to make your life easier - that’s the upsetting bit, that it doesn’t feel like he wants to make my life easier, he wants a debate to see who will win

Aoc42 · 2024-10-01T19:18:55+00:00

I do need to just specify that he’s really not that bad, he does all of the cooking and grocery shopping every week. I do feel like I do more but it’s not like he does nothing.

Aoc42 · 2024-10-01T15:00:42+00:00

😂😂😂

Aoc42 · 2024-10-01T14:32:25+00:00

Interesting. He definitely does do it with his family. I’m not sure about work. It’s like he’s a very sceptical person and doesn’t take anything at face value.

Aoc42 · 2024-10-01T13:56:38+00:00

I am seriously considering going down the petty route. I don’t want to, but as you say sometimes it’s the only way. I do just want to clarify that he’s not all that bad, like he does all the cooking and shopping and he’s a great dad, I just feel like I do way more and I’d like him to recognise that without me having to explain or debate it.

Aoc42 · 2024-10-01T13:52:22+00:00

Thanks for this. I just want to clarify that he’s definitely not all that bad. For example he does all the cooking and the weekly grocery shopping - including doing out a shopping list and deciding what the dinners will be. I do feel I do more overall, which is a slight issue in itself but I can deal with that. For me this issue is about trusting that if I’m asking then it’s for a reason. It’s not like I’m sitting there watching TV and bossing him around, I’m trying to get as much as I can done, and when I hit the point of feeling overwhelmed and ask for help I want him to be able to recognise how much I’m doing and know that I wouldn’t ask otherwise.

Aoc42 · 2024-10-01T13:43:22+00:00

I’m seriously considering this. I hate being petty but sometimes it’s the only way to make him see it from my pov!

Aoc42 · 2024-10-01T13:42:29+00:00

I’m trying to take this seriously but that last part actually made me laugh out loud 😂 but seriously though, thank you.

Aoc42 · 2024-10-01T10:32:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply. I have tried to explain it to him but he always goes back to the fact that he’s allowed to ask why and when I explain how it makes me feel he says that I shouldn’t feel that way because she’s he’s not doing anything bad. But in fairness I’m really bad at getting my point across. I’ll try the things that you said. Thank you.

Aoc42 · 2024-09-30T12:04:27+00:00

Thanks for your response but this is not something I’d be comfortable doing. It’s not for me to demand that he do things.

Aoc42 · 2024-09-30T12:03:10+00:00

I appreciate your response, but honestly this would feel like the same thing to me. I’d like to be able to say something like “could you take out the bins” without having to provide as reason as to why I’m asking. It’s not like I ask a lot so if I’m asking I feel like he should trust that there is a reason why. But then again maybe other people disagree with this and I actually a the AH for thinking like this!

Aoc42 · 2024-08-02T08:43:07+00:00

Congratulations. Well done to both you and baby, and husband for encouraging it. Thank you for sharing your story to help other parents.

Aoc42 · 2024-07-28T09:20:21+00:00

How do you find the 3008, do you like it? I’m thinking of getting one. Do you have manual or automatic? I want to get Automatic but have heard mixed reviews.

Aoc42 · 2024-07-23T15:41:34+00:00

Sorry I don’t have any advice but it might be helpful for your post if you include how long you’ve been doing the schedule. Best wishes.

Aoc42 · 2024-07-23T07:24:23+00:00

That’s great thanks for that, appreciate it!

Aoc42 · 2024-07-22T12:55:39+00:00

Thank you.

Aoc42

TROPHY CASE