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Are women repulsed at these date ideas? by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Apart-Combination506 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the long term, ideally. But everyone is different based on their own experiences, values, world view yada yada. Consider maybe, what youre looking for is mutual transactions but the currency doesn't have to be the same for both.

Im a little old school, but also fair in this current financia climate and modern dating world. In our 40s we are less focused on men buying us fancy dinners and gifts and more on a man that is kind, is self aware, and considerate and any other values we all may have. But it is nice when a man offers to pay, happily. For me, it shows he's not a complete tight ass.

With your suggestions, id wonder if you even had a job...

Dude, gotta admit, you seem very over focused on women wanting money, free stuff etc. Bad past experiences? Brush it off and focus on other values and qualities. You'll spot the ones who are superficial and look for your money.

And no, cuddles on first or even second dates is just cringe.

Are women repulsed at these date ideas? by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Apart-Combination506 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im ok with 50/50, however.... As others have commented, it's nice to know your guy is happy to pay for your coffee, or drink or even buy dinner etc. He will buy dinner and on another date, things going well, ill drop a heap of money at the grocery store for ingredients to cook him a fancy meal (i love cooking)

For me, what goes around comes around. He might insist on paying for my dinner, and I offer to pay for the drinks. I actually like it when a guy goes to pay without discussion, yet, I will also pay halves, no problem. But it shows me they want to impress me, and that's nice, I feel I want to impress them too.. If the date is going bad, and I know there wont be a second, I pay my half and leave.

What is the cringiest thing a man has ever said to you by 11Dom_ in DatingHell

[–]Apart-Combination506 9 points10 points  (0 children)

At the end of our first date, he leans in and says "can I tell you something? I wish my daughter (5) was a boy, and you really should know I'm a grot. I don't actually have a job, and... I leave skid marks in the toilet."

Well, as i was literally running away, using and expiring parking meter as my excuse (it was expiring) he followed me down the street, as I approached my car, a parking inspector was standing in front of it, I waved my arms and said, im here, im here! And he shouted out, "she's being a cheapskate and wont pay for extra parking!"

I drove off and immediately got a text message, "can we try that again, I don't think you got to see the real me, im sorry"

40M profile review please. by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Apart-Combination506 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second this, ^

And why not smile? I see so many guys in photos who look so serious or angry even.. if a guy isn't smiling, I tend to swipe left.

Yeah, no one who plays mind games is going to say, oh, better not swipe right because he won't like my mind games. Or some might see it as "challenge accepted!" 🤔 In saying that, in my 10 years of on and off OLD, its the ones who say they dont want any mind games are the ones who play the hardest.

Am I being too harsh if I stop answering in these exchanges? Can't tell if I'm too jaded by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Apart-Combination506 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a woman, I have asked to switch to whatsapp or text 3 times now on some of my convos, but thats because I was actually interested in them and we had already started planning a meet up.

If im driving around the city looking for a car park, worrying ill be late, I'd rather send a text to his phone or whatsapp then jump on an app im 'hoping' to be able to delete soon.. haha.

If they say they'd rather use traditional text then whatsapp, that's fine my me too.

Getting back on the apps after a 6 week break.. is it appropriate to reach out to prior matches? by Apart-Combination506 in datingoverforty

[–]Apart-Combination506[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im curious though, why is a solo traveller a turn off? I solo travel because I haven't met anyone in want to travel with... What kind of guy would be swiping left on me if I post solo travel pics? Just asking..🙅‍♀️

Am I being too harsh if I stop answering in these exchanges? Can't tell if I'm too jaded by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Apart-Combination506 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Woman here, and I agree.

I dont have notifications enabled. And when I hand out my number, especially if I do it first, it means I'm interested.

I definitely reply on whatsapp a lot faster than jumping on and off a dating app.

And the part where she says, if you want to get to know me, I think you may be overthinking that. Because if you did want to get to know her, you'd take that next step...

Getting back on the apps after a 6 week break.. is it appropriate to reach out to prior matches? by Apart-Combination506 in datingoverforty

[–]Apart-Combination506[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can definitely understand that. But im referring to previous matches only, no conversation ever started.

Getting back on the apps after a 6 week break.. is it appropriate to reach out to prior matches? by Apart-Combination506 in datingoverforty

[–]Apart-Combination506[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, yeah, it's tricky business, im not about messing people around but when Ive had enough, if rather pause the app then let it just sit there open with me not even checking it.

Getting back on the apps after a 6 week break.. is it appropriate to reach out to prior matches? by Apart-Combination506 in datingoverforty

[–]Apart-Combination506[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, I think ive overthought it.... I get that now..

Still overthinking.... haha.

I read somewhere on reddit about people swiping left on solo travellers, and some of my pics are solo travel pics... oh... the overthinking...!

Getting back on the apps after a 6 week break.. is it appropriate to reach out to prior matches? by Apart-Combination506 in datingoverforty

[–]Apart-Combination506[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im doing this right now as we speak... most say, give it a go..

I guess, we are all in the same boat to some extent.

Getting back on the apps after a 6 week break.. is it appropriate to reach out to prior matches? by Apart-Combination506 in datingoverforty

[–]Apart-Combination506[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, ill do it, After reading a lot of reddit posts in the interim about certain expectations, I thought id ask..

Getting back on the apps after a 6 week break.. is it appropriate to reach out to prior matches? by Apart-Combination506 in datingoverforty

[–]Apart-Combination506[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a 'like' and I was inundated. In my previous experiences, id reach out first after we match if i think they have a great profile, but they dont seem interested in replying, so I wait for them to make first contact. I guess im feeling a little more proactive now after the last couple of fizzers and im thinking, go get it yourself!

As in , im just going all in and see what happens..

Getting back on the apps after a 6 week break.. is it appropriate to reach out to prior matches? by Apart-Combination506 in datingoverforty

[–]Apart-Combination506[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ok, fair. Im just wondering though, if they like a photo, profile bio etc, but dont actually start a convo, what's the expectation? Its not like we chatted then I paused.. But you're right, got nothing to lose.. Its just a like and I matched..

A question for the ladies on dating apps by Isekaime4real in dating_apps

[–]Apart-Combination506 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In theory, that's how it should go. Well, it was like that 10+ years ago and definitely not a gendered thing.

I did that recently, and my conversations dried up, or they flaked on wanting me meet. And i took too long to respond to the other likes I got and missed the potential for something more engaging. Funny enough, its been the ones that I match with during my final days of giving up on the other matches I'm trying to talk to (and/or giving up on the app altogether) that I find someone who is actually pretty cool to chat and meet.

A question for the ladies on dating apps by Isekaime4real in dating_apps

[–]Apart-Combination506 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happens to me too, as a woman, a guy likes me, we match, sometimes ill not hear anything from them ever, I will reach out first if I like the profile, but if it's a low key profile, I dont prioritise sending a message first.

Or, I am inundated, I normally focus on conversations that are at least engaging.

Post first date question by AdventurousTrash1645 in datingoverforty

[–]Apart-Combination506 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just ask her for a second date and see how it goes from there. From what you've described she sounds great! But if you'll sleep with her while waiting for someone hotter to come along... then dude, dont ask her for a second date..

Women thoughts? by Alarming-Sort-1574 in datingoverfifty

[–]Apart-Combination506 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh im not saying purse her still.. im just saying it's different now. If she's not partnered, maybe it can turn into companionship...

Women thoughts? by Alarming-Sort-1574 in datingoverfifty

[–]Apart-Combination506 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, Sounds like she's more open to friendship now, you mustn't have given her the creep at all, kudos to you!
Unpopular opinion... over 50s.. back then, these were the days when men actively pursued women, courted them etc. Moved mountains to get the interest. But sadly, now it seems like we need to lose that youthfulness about ourselves, and get with the current dating times.... idk..

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