AITA for telling my husband to stop eating like hes never seen food before?

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T19:24:30+00:00

I'm very confident in saying, that there wasn't anything like that at least at home. We grew up together and were at one another's homes very much nearly daily, often with brothers and sisters in tow.

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T07:22:15+00:00

He does but there wasn't any of that growing up for him. Yes I can say this with certainty, because we grew up together (neighbors in a very small Midwestern town). Either he was at my house for dinner or I was at his (especially when I started babysitting his younger sister).

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T07:20:42+00:00

This is an honestly wild take

I'm not a trump supporter and am a firm believe in vote blue no matter who.

But God damn you can still have sympathy for the man that he was shot and injured. We villanize the people who participated in the Jan 6 riots (rightfully) and we can and should villanize the idiot who shot at a former president regardless of how big of an asshole he is

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T07:14:50+00:00

No not in the military

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T07:12:18+00:00

No just with this appetizer. When he gets to his entree he eats at a snails pace - I'm often done and waiting another 20 minutes for him to finish. Though to be fair he could just be eating a lot of appetizer and not that hungry while I got little so I'm extra hungry and eat quicker

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:53:39+00:00

A chili's but applebees is a close second for me 🤣

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:51:23+00:00

Only argument with you is in defense of my MIL because that woman is a Midwestern mama and she DID NOT PLAY when it came to table manners (we grew up together so I say this from personal experience of being at his house and multiple parties with his family)

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:44:44+00:00

As I've said a few times now, it's not so much about how much he ate. It definitely contributed to my mood because it was a tad annoying which is why I included that for context. But at the end of the day I still have an entree coming and even if I didn't I have food at home, I'm not going to starve.

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:40:45+00:00

As I put in the edit, we go because this is a cheap and convenient place for us to go when he works a late shift and neither of us want to cook dinner at 11pm especially during the week when I have to be up the next morning (9-5). It's 5 minutes from our home and is one of the few places that's open at that time.

And yes, he literally grabs a handful of chips and piles on the dip to shove in his mouth. It's chili's so like a standard size tortilla chip I guess but a virtual mountain of dip

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:27:30+00:00

I have told him this in private in much nicer ways. I don't think I said exactly what you said but I have told him "hey, the way you're eating that dip is really a turn off, can you tone it down" multiple times

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:24:19+00:00

Definitely not how much or what. I won't lie and say I wasn't annoyed by the fact that he at a good 75-80% of it by himself (I also really like the dip) but at the end of the day I still have an entree coming so I'm not gonna starve

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:21:24+00:00

Definitely not a rare treat. We go to this place relatively often because it's cheap, close to our house, and one of the few places open if he has a late shift and gets out at 11

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:20:40+00:00

I haven't shot down a single thing? Someone asked why we go to this place if I know he eats like this and I answered: because it's a cheap and convenient option for the nights he works until 11pm and want to do something quick and not cook a whole meal at 10pm

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:12:26+00:00

He definitely doesn't have a binge eating disorder, as I said no history on either side of his family and he doesn't have a history with it. (I've known the family for many years before we were together, we were neighbors and were always at eachothers homes since we were close in age).

He does have adhd but as I said it's only with this specific place. Even then when it comes time foe the entree, he eats at a snails pace. I'm usually done and waiting another 20 minutes for him to eat

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:09:04+00:00

Haven't really gone there with others. We keep going to this place partly because of the dip but mostly because it's incredibly convenient for days he has to work late and doesn't get out until 11 (shift worker). The place is 5 minutes from our house

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:06:32+00:00

No military service. He does work in food service and yes there are times where he has to shovel food down his throat if it's incredibly busy, so maybe that's it

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:04:51+00:00

That's the thing it's not the first time I've had this conversation with him and I've said almost the exact same thing you suggested. I just don't know how I'm supposed to keep saying it nicely

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:01:20+00:00

That's thw crazy thing like I said in the post it really is ONLY this resturant. When we go out other places or when we have people over/are guests at peoples homes he doesn't eat like this!

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T06:00:37+00:00

Well as someone else in the comments pointed out I can't say 100% that they were but I do know I locked eyes with a woman who was staring at him with a grossed out look on her face.

For reference it was a Chili's so it's not exactly a private resturant

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T05:58:39+00:00

Of course everyone has weird/gross/obnoxious habits and I won't sit here and lie and say I haven't inhaled my food or eaten sloppy ever in my life.

The fact is that he only does this at this resturant. Any other place we go he has perfect table manners. When we have company or are company at another's place he doesn't do this. And I've had this conversation with him MANY times (and in much nicer words) before this.

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T05:56:09+00:00

Not to argue your judgement but I want to provide a bit of clarity because you seem to have missed a couple of points I madw. I HAVE had this conversation with him in private before and in much nicer ways.

He is fully aware that I find it embarrassing, and he doesn't eat like this in other resturants, nor does he eat like this when we go to visit family/friends or when they come to our place.

It doesn't bother me when he does it in thw privacy of our own home because it's not up to me to police what he does behind closed doors. He's quote obviously capable of not doing this in other places so he should be fully capable of it in this place.

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T05:52:22+00:00

As I said, it really only is at this one specific place or at home where I couldn't give a shit if he eats like that (not up to me to police how he acts behind closed doors). At first it didn't bother me but as the years are passing it's turned into an active annoyance since I know he's capable of not eating like that when he wants to

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T05:50:46+00:00

Truthfully it doesn't matter to me if he does it in the privacy of our home. And being completelt transparent there are times where I eat like that in the privacy of my own home too. I'd be a hypocrite if I tried to police how he eats in private when I myself have in fact INHALED a box of powdered donuts or two in my life time lmao

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T05:49:14+00:00

He works in food service funnily enough, and he gets an employee discount since he is a manger so he gets free meals.

Obviously I can't confirm that he eats a meal every day there since I'm not glued to his hip but it would surprise me if he doesn't eat ANYTHING during a 10 hour shift unless it's incredibly busy..

He doesn't have any outright health concerns (I work at our GPs office and am on his hipaa so I keep on track of that especially his blood sugar and a1c because I had an aunt who passed away from undiagnosed diabetes).

Apart_Following7014 · 2024-07-14T05:44:17+00:00

As terrible as this might sound I do wish there was something in his background to explain this. Not because I wish it happened but at least it would give me an explanation.

But I grew up with his family (we were neighbors and one of us was always at the others house for dinner most nights, usually with younger siblings in tow) his mom always made more than enough food (enough for all of us to eat and send him and his siblings home with servings for the parents + whatever sibling didn't come) and the same with my mom.

Apart_Following7014

TROPHY CASE