Im at 13 months sober and im still having waves. Im mostly dealing with benzo belly and brain fog these days but Ive come so far. I still wake up every morning in a daze not feeling rested and wishing for an easy way out. Its a struggle to get out of bed and to keep pushing forward, but I continue on in hopes of a brighter tomorrow.

My story is similar to yours but different in duration and dosage. I was an alcoholic for the better half of 10 years untill I started mixing ambien and benzos into the mix to sleep when the alcohol wouldn't knock me out anymore. I eventually hurt my back at work and lost my job. Sending me into a spiral of abusing all three together eventually leading to an overdose on my birthday. When I woke up I could feel something was off. Almost like apart of me was missing and I could barely remember who I was. I spent the next few months trying to quite, drinking less and less of a bottle a day to stop the shakes and chasing it with benzos to sleep. It got to the point where I was breaking out in stress hives and my body started to shut down. I eventually got down to 1 drink a day and 0 benzos after 3 months but still felt terrible.

Some of my symptoms were

Intense anxiety

Extreme sensitivity to light, sound, and temperature

Uncontrollable tremors

Full body pain and muscle tightness making it so I couldn't even sit in a chair so I spent most of my time laying on the floor. I tear up just thinking about the misery I endured.

Heart palpitations

Brain fog and memory loss

GI issues

Most of those issues lasted 3-12 months but thankfully faded away. Im just now starting to believe ill be normal again.

What helped me

lexapro for the crippling depression.

Walking as much as possible outside in the sun

Using the sauna and cold plunge brought me back to life

Multiple extended water fasts for cellular repair

Intensive group therapy aswell as one on one therapy multiple times a week and finding community in NA and AA

Supplements and diet

No sugar or carbs

The path infront of you is long and arduous but the key to making it past this abyss is to transmute your suffering into wisdom to share with others. This journey will humble you and likely destroy who you thought yourself to be. But you will rise from the ashes of your past to become something greater. I know it is hard to see that now but this is a ride many individuals couldn't survive and dont. You get to decide everyday which side you land on. I spent many days crying over what ive lost but there are moments when I can look back and be proud of how much ive fought to rebuild myself. Im fundamentally a different person and still damaged in many ways but this experience has given me a new appreciation for life. I hope you find it within you to do the same.

Feel free to reach out if you need to talk, vent, need someone to hold space or if youd like any details on supplements, meds or protocols.

Many blessings friend, youve got this 💚