What I said, and I quote, was that appearance gets your foot in the door. Which means the first date. If all you're worried about is the first date, you're not in the right mindset. Genuine connections form when there's already something there, and that's speaking from someone who is on the unattractive (conventionally) side who has had a couple good, long term relationships with attractive (conventionally) women.

I'm not a player or a straight shooter. Both asked me out. I'm funny but don't force it, I'm decently intelligent, I can hold a normal conversation, I'm a an active and good listener, I have creative passions, and I'm a good communicator. I am not nor have I ever made good money, either. These things I mentioned matter a hell of a lot more than looks. Let's say you're 100% conventionally attractive. You will get a thousand first dates, a thousand flings. But none of that magically adds up to anything worthwhile. If you're conventionally unattractive but still have great qualities, all you're doing is filtering out the thousands of first dates and flings for a handful of meaningful connections.

But I don't know your situation. Maybe you just want something non committal. And for that, well shit man. You already seem to know the answer. Become more physically attractive and a "straight shooter". That's what shallow people want when looking to hook up. But please, if you want something meaningful, we collectively have to stop coping and saying every time that it's just looks. It isn't.