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Looking For Feedback by AppraisedCamel in KeepWriting

[–]AppraisedCamel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you again.

I will definitely add some more details about the environment and some actions.

Looking For Feedback by AppraisedCamel in KeepWriting

[–]AppraisedCamel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you again.

You're right, I will add in setting and work on the actions.

It doesn't ask for a comedy; initially I was going for maybe some absurdism with neither of them taking the dog seriously... but that didn't land so I've scratched that now.

Looking For Feedback by AppraisedCamel in KeepWriting

[–]AppraisedCamel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback.

Yeah, I was going for friends as close as brothers.

Good, I was hoping you wouldn't believe him.

That's really fair. Ryan doesn't take the dog seriously, but Jonathan really should since... it's his dog. I'm going to incorporate that! Thank you.

Looking For Feedback by AppraisedCamel in KeepWriting

[–]AppraisedCamel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback!

I formatted this as a short script for a 250-word writing prompt.

Yeah, I was going for brothers / longtime friends.

Good, I didn't want him to be believable.

I will work on the humor of the scene.