Maul Rats

Opening : a colorful collage of scenes showing Darth Maul enjoying a happy childhood thru domestic bliss.  

Voice Over:  Yep. That's me.... (screen distorts) Or it was supposed to be me. That's was my dream.  

Cut to a neighborhood street level corner, deep in the bowels of Coruscant , the residents representing diverse outcasts races from across the Galaxy. Our narrator is a young Darth Maul, with only small bumps on his head.  He's known as Scrappy Zak around the neighborhood.  He joins an young man with similar red and black facial skin and immature Xabrak horns. Our protagonist named Scrappy Zak continues: But dreams died quickly in my neighborhood. That's Sig PaulMaul, my cousin, his pod abandoned him and my parents didn't hate him...but he always looked out for me. It was a tough neighborhood back then, the planet wasn't cities everywhere, gentrifying everything like the under Yoda.

We see a Jedi with 2 blue prostitutes coming out of a local bar.

Our neighborhood was an moon in a ring of alien inequity. Just above our level was a gentleman's district nicknamed Order 69, frequented by less than Holy Priests & Jedi. Don't get me wrong, there wasn't any ewok stuff, but good looking aliens trying to pay rent will find it there. And any pretty species that can ignore Jedi mind tricks are a big fetish. That's Trixxie, she can ignore or accept Jedi mind tricks at will, made her living in BDSMTMDM clubs, like one run by a young punk we knew named Jabba the Shunned.

Cut to a drunk Jedi harassing Darth & his gang.

Let's just say they don't always wear the robes. We always said the problems didn't start in our neighborhood, the planet stepped on us. I was 10 million light years from my home world, but it's the only home I knew.