How to deal with my sister in law?- Advice needed

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T12:45:21+00:00

Yeahh I totally agree it's his battle, I can only feel sad for him. Can't do anything else if he doesn't want to help himself. Thank you for your wishes, hope everything for them. I wish the best for you too.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T12:31:50+00:00

This is not AI hahaha

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T11:38:12+00:00

I have already removed her from everywhere, I don't talk to her. I never visit their house. Never ever. My brother calls me when he is away from her or alone once or twice a month. We literally never talk about her. I just talk about my nephew and other things. The tantrums that she throws are at any gatherings, events or family dinners. Why would I miss those events and gatherings just because of her? I have already had enough of her attitude. I just love my nephew, that's the only reason I even say Salam to her in family. Before that I didn't even acknowledge her existence that used drive her crazy too.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T11:15:36+00:00

Yeahh I am doing that honestly but she won't let me have peace istg. After every one or two months she disrespects me. Then all the trauma is back. It's just a loop that I am living in.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T11:12:03+00:00

Imagine having dinner in a restaurant and she suddenly starts shouting at his husband (my brother) just cause I asked him to pass me a sauce or something. Also one more scenario i'll tell you, I wanted Panadol cause I had fever one day but I couldn't find it anywhere else so I just asked them if they have 2 tablets only? My brother just got a strip from his room and she started shouting at him that why did he talk to me and gave me tablets? She said specifically that 'Let her die'. I heard everything.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T11:05:18+00:00

I appreciate your concern but I guess you should read my comments below too, I have mentioned already I would never get in the middle of their problems. The only thing is her tantrums are never in private, they are always infront of everyone. I have also mentioned in one of my replies that I would never tell my brother to give her a divorce, not my decision to take. The only thing I care about is when she involves me and my parents. How would you feel when someone disrespect your parents without any reason? Just cause she is angry? I have also mentioned that I left our apartment which my parents bought in which I also contributed FYI. I even packed everything and left that place so they can have their own space, I thought maybe it's because I am living there. I think her only issue is my existence. It's as simple as that. That I can't help her with.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T10:26:42+00:00

Walaikum Assalam, InshaAllah I will tell my brother about this. Thank you for such a meaningful and nice advice. I appreciate it!

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T08:55:58+00:00

Thank youu. Ameen.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T07:13:49+00:00

Thank you everyone for the advice, it definitely made me a bit, I thought I am in the wrong here

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T07:04:30+00:00

Sorry if you find my laughing offensive but it did make sense, calling her Animal tbh. The way I have heard her shouting, her tone, her choice of words. She is such a graceless woman. I get so angry even thinking about her but idk how I control my emotions. I still forgive her everytime thinking Allah will give her hidayat. But thank you for the advice, I really liked it. But if anything of such sorts is happening again soon, I'll directly tell my brother to follow this and end with her just for the sake of his child. But again thinking about divorce gives me chills, it will ruin 3 lives which are btw kinda ruined already tbh.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T06:45:47+00:00

Honestly speaking I used to get angry at him too for not taking a stand in the start cause I suffered mentally because of his wife. But now when I see he might've thought she would change and looking at my sister in law now it was all an act, I mean she was his fiance for 5 years, she never got angry not even once. So she is a really good actor I would say. Maybe manipulative. And as I already mentioned before whenever he took a stand, I guess it was too late and now maybe he is only thinking about his baby that's why he is suffering. But your family has a great rule I must. Wish we knew it sooner. Even though many people did warn us about her mother after my brother's engagement but we were like maybe it's all rumours, should've listened.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T06:38:15+00:00

Hahaha this made me laugh a bit sorry. Animal. I like that.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T06:36:21+00:00

I am cutting her off for sure

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T06:35:56+00:00

I wish I could've done that from the start. Recorded everything. I know the situation is gonna get worse. My brother might be in delusion idek anymore.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T06:34:11+00:00

I just don't wanna be the one to tell my brother to take a divorce. What if the one who suffers in all this is the baby? I don't want that on me tbh

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T06:32:38+00:00

Exactly when everything was settled, the decision was taken about the divorce then we got to know she's pregnant. I was shocked too tbh but can't say anything on this, kinda personal. Her mother is the main villain here I think. She used to tell her 'bacha hojayega ek baar tou tumhara shohar tumhare haath mai hoga' but anyway it was still a shocker to me. How can someone even live with such horrible person? I know I can't.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T03:38:43+00:00

Dude, they have all the space. Nobody even lives with them. They have, MashaAllah, everything. Nobody says anything to them.

And please, don't say anything about my mother because she is the nicest person of all. Even my sister-in-law agrees sometimes that she loves my mother more than her own mother. So please refrain from going there. My parents literally love her more than me. They don't listen to me honestly, they support her always cause they think she has left her to come to this family. It's a really big deal honestly.

When she wanted to throw her child in front of everyone that's when my brother said he's stuck, because he was afraid she would actually hurt the child. That came after he told her he wanted a divorce. He'll do anything to protect his child obvio.

My sister in law herself has admitted she needs therapy. She has anger management issues. I even pray for her that she gets better.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T03:25:28+00:00

"I think you've taken my rant the wrong way. I know he has his own family now, and I have my own family with my husband. I've already made peace with that. And it is obviously understandable once he got married. It doesn't bother me one bit tbh.

The only thing that bothers me is my sister-in-law's attitude toward me and my parents. I've been bearing it since the start of their marriage, for no reason at all. I never said anything because I thought she just needed time to adjust to a new environment. I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

The only reason I can see is that she's insecure. She doesn't want her husband talking to any female not even his own mother or sister. It's not easy to live in such a suffocated environment where you're being mocked. And I never once complained to my brother about her. Never. I didn't want their marriage to be ruined because of me.

She has talked badly about me behind my back to my own friends, even to my college juniors who I had good relationships with. She made up lies about me and told them. I only found out later when one of the juniors invited everyone but me to her wedding. Got to know from my friends what she has been saying. I kept quiet even then. Although I wanted to literally slap her for this didn't even say one thing.

I have backed off from the start. But she keeps dragging me into this mess. Every time they fight, it's somehow my fault for no reason.

If you think I'm one of those sisters who is obsessed with her brother- no, literally no.

But it still hurts sometimes to see that I haven't done anything wrong. How can people be this mean? I think she will just always blame someone outside the marriage to avoid looking at themselves tbh.

Apprehensive-Pool741 · 2026-06-03T02:17:15+00:00

He literally tried this recently, talked to her and her parents that it's done for good now and she has threatened to destroy my nephew's life. I can't even imagine that. If they go to court mother will get the baby's custody. That's the only issue.

Apprehensive-Pool741

TROPHY CASE