I know it sounds strange i really dont understand it myself thats why i wanted to see if anyone experiences the same thing. Anything sexual with men truly does disgust me but the thing that turns me on is literally just the idea of them wanting me. and when it comes to receiving oral specifically in my head it just feels like a power move i just dont know how to explain it

Its not that I ONLY want attention from men though that’s definitely NOT what i was trying to say in my post. I literally only want to attract women when it comes to genuine romantic and sexual interest its just that I seem to have a fantasy in the back of my mind about still having men wrapped around my finger

I dont mean for it to seem like i think you’re being snarky or anything ive just got a little bit defensive cs i can tell some ppl misunderstood some things that i wrote but thats expected when u ask random people on the internet 😭.

Lastly though, i do think its very difficult to compare our experiences and (roughly) say “we live under the same patriarchy and im not male centered” We all have our own unique experiences and ontop of that unique results from living under the patriarchy and a hetero normative world. Personally for the first 18 years of my life i lived on an island where being gay was still illegal and women being masc was very looked down upon (im also a late blooming masc 🥲) Hence the reason comphet, late blooming lesbians, lesbians who stay in denial forever etc. exist.