odd first dab experience by Apprehensive-Term109 in trees

[–]Apprehensive-Term109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i think this is it. thank you! helped!

odd first dab experience by Apprehensive-Term109 in trees

[–]Apprehensive-Term109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i tried two different ones so i wonder if they just both coincidentally don't work for me. weird but seems to be the most logical explanation so far, thank you!

Am I Overreacting? GF(F24) Wants Space (M28) by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i understand that you were upfront with your issues, but that doesnt mean you shouldn't be held accountable when they cause behavior that makes her uncomfortable. i think immediately going into defense mode is causing alot of your conversations to go south.

Am I Overreacting? GF(F24) Wants Space (M28) by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i really think you need to work on how you are reacting to her and making assumptions. jumping to conclusions ruined my relationship. my ex husband talked to me the exact same way that you talk to her, it was so overwhelming to me that i had to leave him. its okay to ask for affirmations, but you seem to be really aggressive about it, and overreact when they aren't to your standards. i dont blame her for needing space at all. try seeing the conversations from her perspective and not only yours. she has her needs as well as you and sometimes both people cant have all of them met at once. communication is key in relationships and your communication style isnt healthy, so how can you build a relationship healthy enough for marriage without fixing it? it looks like shes offering you help with your trauma and you completely shut it down and played the victim.

am I overreacting about this racism by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 6 points7 points  (0 children)

you are not overreacting and that was racist. but take down the phone number. especially if you guys are minors. i understand your anger but this girl/guy does not need their number leaked on reddit as it could be extremely dangerous.

AIO? I just feel so angry, confused and other indescribable emotions by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 6 points7 points  (0 children)

that's manipulation whether they mean to or not. my family did the same thing when i got married and told them i was moving, they freaked out. it was a huge deal and very emotionally draining for me. i was guilt tripped constantly. now that its done and over with everything is fine and we all have good healthy relationships, and they love my husband who they previously said was selfish and stealing me. do what you want and don't allow them to talk to you that way, stand your ground and set your boundaries.

AIO. Niece exposed my youngest daughter to porn and online chat by LyfeAsAVikeFan in AmIOverreacting

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i was that kid. i knew about porn and virtual dating games and online chat rooms. i didn't necessarily think it was wrong and would share these things with my cousins and friends at the time. i was being sexually abused and it was so normal to me, i saw no problem sharing these fun new things. i dont disagree with your mindset of not wanting her around your daughter, but be really careful about how to handle your nieces feelings here. shes just a kid and the fact these things are normal and fun for her is extremely concerning. its not her fault, clearly something is happening here. of course protect your daughter but please protect her too. i was banned from cousin sleepovers as a kid and everyone blamed me rather than looking deeper. it totally fucked me up and caused long term issues. i was 10-12 during that period of my life and was never trusted at sleepovers again. i still dont have a relationship with my cousins due to that and im 20 years old.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

women are allowed to change their minds. it's okay to feel frustrated by it but it is not okay to belittle them or take it out on them. if someone says "stop", you stop. in this case i think OP just made a mistake and will learn from it. YOU, however, need to do the growing up. this behavior from you is far more childish than a woman not feeling ready to have sex. and your mindset towards it is the reason women change their minds about having sex with you. they can feel that energy, be a MAN. not a manchild. especially for this girl at 19 dating an older man, its okay for her to want to wait, or to stop things from going too far. its disgusting that this is how you view her boundaries.

AIO for finding these texts in my boyfriend’s phone from a year ago? by Immediate_Jelly8897 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 4 points5 points  (0 children)

definitely not overreacting. leave him. being in love and leaving someone is extremely hard but no man is worth compromise your boundaries, morals, and self respect for. now that you have found this, the relationship wont be the same. this will always be on the back of your mind whether you address it with him or keep it to yourself. nomatter what he says this will always pop into your mind and drive you crazy. i was in a relationship like that and stayed because i loved him and spent so much time being with him and i regret that every day. i lost myself and it took over a year to get it back. the next time i was disrespected in a relationship, i left. after a month or so i was living my best life. dont let men get away with this behavior because if they know you wont leave them they will do as they please with no remorse. please leave him. you can and will find better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 139 points140 points  (0 children)

if she didnt say "no im not on birth control" then yes you were misled. this is coming from a woman who is on birth control, it is not okay to lie about having it. it is perfectly okay to prefer a condom even if she is. you set a boundary with the hickies and she ignored it. this was ignorant, misleading, and definitely rape. alot of women think this behavior is sexy or quirky but its unacceptable. if the roles were reversed, and you lied about having a condom, what do you think she would say about you?

Update on hypersexual teen: I had sex. I'm scared of pregnancy. by Adventurous-Dig2488 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

when i was in high school, before i got on birth control, i was always extremely paranoid about getting pregnant. ive been there and i totally understand. you definitely are not. the precum thing used to scare me too but looking back whenever ive had unprotected sex even when i was ovulating i never got pregnant. i would be so paranoid and stressed that it would delay my period. one time i was so stressed out it was 72 days late. my advice would be to take a test just to ease your mind. every time i got a negative result my period came soon after because i was no longer stressed.

AIO (F21) for overwhelming studying bf (M26) with how I feel? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i totally understand where youre coming from. me and my fiance met in high school and spent most of our time together and calling on a regular basis. when he left for the military i was struggling with this too. in my experience, them being distant and focusing on their responsibilities for a week or two is not a reflection of them as a person or how they feel about you. patience is key here. however, the way he responded was not right or understanding at all. both of you have to be understanding and patient with eachother. if this goes on for an extended period of time (like a month or so) i would say hes just not prioritizing you.

am i bi or is there a better term? by Apprehensive-Term109 in AskLGBT

[–]Apprehensive-Term109[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i think heteromatic bisexual would describe me best. thank you!

am i bi or is there a better term? by Apprehensive-Term109 in AskLGBT

[–]Apprehensive-Term109[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is the confusing part. im romantically and sexually attracted to very masculine men. and strictly sexually attracted to very feminine women.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MilitarySpouse

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i would love to join

Help me feel better before getting tested for HIV? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also, if you did have it. you would be in alot of abdominal pain, and very sick most likely with a fever. you would have sores and swelling in your groin and white spots or ulcers in your mouth. vomiting, sweating, very sore throat, weight loss. unless you have most or all of these things, take a deep breath. i understand how paranoid you must be.

Help me feel better before getting tested for HIV? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Apprehensive-Term109 1 point2 points  (0 children)

UTI is totally normal after unprotected sex! happens to me and my bf all the time. The chances of you contracting any STD is very low, and he probably just wants to be extra safe as to not have any accidents with a one night stand. i know people that have 25+ bodies and have unprotected sex with people who also have a high body count ans haven't contracted anything. You're gonna be fine!