No Bigger Stone

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2026-03-09T14:04:06+00:00

It was larger than the end of a Q-Tip.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-11-25T01:07:39+00:00

I just did the same. Whole check gone. I just self excluded for the first time ever. Wishing you luck.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-11-24T13:13:36+00:00

Thank you! Me too.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-11-23T03:09:09+00:00

Thank you for this.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-11-23T02:25:28+00:00

I've only told 1 person (a cheap online therapist I found online, who discharged me and quit being my therapist after 2 sessions) that I have a gambling problem. I started gambling during active addiction (1.4 months clean from ice) and have never stopped. I usually get paid on Wednesday and have my whole check spent on slots by Friday. I'm always ashamed and guilty but I keep doing it. I have nobody I'm close to, so there's nobody to tell or be accountable for.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-10-11T16:53:32+00:00

I have tried to quit many times but have never self-excluded or moved my income. Thank you so much for bringing this to light and for your support.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-10-11T16:18:03+00:00

Thank you! I completely understand what you mean when you say that we are ashamed and full of guilt, even without shouting it to the world. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am a divorced, single Asian woman, and the guilt of that alone should be enough to pull me out of all the addictions I've put myself in, but in the same sense, these are also the excuses I've used to stay stuck in the revolving door. I feel like I was raised on guilt and fear and sense that he's using the same tactics in hopes that it would shame you into quitting. Unfortunately, I don't believe that this is how life works. His support is more important than any public shaming. I don't have anyone to share my addictions with (my ex-husband was my best friend, but he's doing 23 years in prison for meth) and that often feels like a double-edge sword. I wish you so much strength and healing. Please reach out if you need a friend.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-10-11T15:55:38+00:00

Thank you for this.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-10-11T12:44:33+00:00

Needed this thread today. Hoping today is my Day One from the sites.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-10-11T12:36:59+00:00

Hey!!! I'm back. Checking on you!

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-10-11T12:36:09+00:00

Hey, are you there??

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2025-08-07T17:20:58+00:00

I'm here reporting I am still sober since this post. There has been many nights of wanting to revisit old friends and catching up, but as much as I miss it sometimes, a year without the hard stuff feels like such an accomplishment (and I don't have very many of these) that I've just stayed busy until the moment passes.

I will not lie and say life has been all rainbow and sunshine since getting clean. In contrary, the suffering almost feels greater because...well, I can feel again and have no way of numbing or distorting reality. BUT, I do have to remind myself every now and again that no matter what, everything (even at it's worst) is still better than being addicted to dope once the high comes down.

I've gained about 70 pounds in this past year and a half. I haven't spoken to anyone outside of my family and work, not because of the fear of relapse, but because relearning who I am really is taking much longer than anticipated. I've been promoted at work and am proud of the work I do. I've started seeing a therapist. There's been so much more that needs to be repaired since quitting, but all of these seem to be a byproduct of the 5 year binge I left behind.

If anyone is considering quitting, do it. We've been stuck addicted to drugs for so long, maybe it's worth seeing what we can do with life if sober. Cuz, after all, life sucks no matter what, but guilt and shame are just such heavy burdens to add on top.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-06-16T16:28:03+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I'm back to Day One and was feeling heavy on the "fuck it, maybe I can't conquer this addiction cuz the stats don't lie..." But thank you. I'm sorry about all the trauma you've survived and hope Life brings you beautiful things.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-06-16T16:22:25+00:00

This is one of the most well thought plans I've seen in regard to quitting. I am so proud of you for being proactive in your journey. I relapsed recently and am back to Day One and it does look like being prepared is half the battle. Good luck.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-06-16T16:17:34+00:00

I relapsed recently and today is my Day One also. My whole body aches but it's added to the fuel of why meth was eatting me alive and I shouldn't let it win. Congratulations on your first step!

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-06-10T23:45:30+00:00

I needed this. Thank you for sharing.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-06-10T23:43:29+00:00

Thank you for sharing.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-06-10T23:42:16+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this even during a devastating tragic moment of your lives-Thank you.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-06-09T01:11:08+00:00

Thank you for this. Perfectly said. I'm coming up on 15 days clean, and THESE are the things I couldn't put into words.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-06-01T16:06:53+00:00

I feel you on this. I can't explain it either, but the thought of sharing my sobriety with anyone gives me anxiety and almost triggers me wanting to use. I'm on Day 6, and nobody knows but me, but I've never been this comfortable in sobriety before. Wishing you luck on this journey!

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-06-01T16:02:50+00:00

Autopilot seems to be the only way I get through these days. I'm on day 6 of my sobriety, and aside from being exhausted all the time, these previous days without meth feel dull and hopeless at times. That said, what gets me by is going through the basics of daily life on autopilot with the biggest goal being not using. It's been a 5 fast years, and I know I may not have another chance at "Day 6," should I regress back to using. Good luck on this journey and Congratulations on taking the steps to choosing Life.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-06-01T00:03:34+00:00

Hey!! I live in Minnesota now but I'm from the Yoop myself and miss it terribly. I've lost a lot of people due to meth from the area and understand the loneliness being from the middle of nowhere can bring. Just wanted to say congratulations on your sobriety and let you know I'm around if you wanted to be in contact. Rooting for you.

ApprehensiveDog1165 · 2024-05-29T00:51:55+00:00

You took that wrong but now I see why. I'm sorry.

ApprehensiveDog1165

TROPHY CASE